Double Standard

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It’s not hurt that conquers my heart but it’s you. I am what my past has made me and it’s all about you – it’s all about us. The pain that comes with being a part of you is somewhat enchanting. I find my comfort in your arms. I seek my love in your eyes. I recognise myself in the purpose of your existence. It’s unbelievable that you will play a double standard game but then after all you are one of your kind – unpredictability is in your blood.

I can breath you in all day long. I can feed on the curves around your lips forever. I can watch myself in the depth of your eyes for every second left of my life. I can forgive you but not forget you. I can love you but not leave you. I can please you even at the expense of who I am but you won’t see, you won’t listen and you won’t even understand. All that I was and all that I have become is to you just another pawn in your double standard game.


Photo Credits: https://www.google.com/images

Angel in Disguise

This poem is written by a very good friend of mine, Amit Khatri. It moved me a lot and I couldn’t resist sharing. Hope you all enjoy his work as much as I do.

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Hiding behind that beautiful smile

You walk with me mile for mile

Carrying my burdens as if your own

Clearing my path of rock and stone

Ever be there someone so true

A devoted lover’s heart in you

How do I thank the one above

For sending to me my soul’s true love

You lay beside me in times of strife

And comfort me through this stifling life

You are my one, my all, my heavenly prize

My darling love – Angel in disguise

Water

This post is a challenge from Lace Winter in response to my challenge to her which was to write a poem, namely, ‘Blue‘. She did a great job! She is a very talented writer and I love reading her work. Please check her blog out and give her a shout out, thumbs up or even that Follow-up!

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A gigantic wave crashes on the shore,
Bathing my skin – the touch of crystal emerald sea;
The smell of salt and sand in my pores,
Entangling water soothes me.

As heavenly showers washes over the earth,
Cool breeze dances as it feasts this dessert;
Cleansing it’s body to reveal its true purity,
This flowing water an insurance of security.

Fear not my children for I grant you your freedom,
Quench your thirst and soak in my wisdom;
No more shall this drought shackle humanity,
For through this liquid blue shall you regain your sanity.

Is Your Soul Worth A Look?

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My soul feels uncomfortable in its very own body. I wonder if I am a disappointing it or choking its voice. It doesn’t communicate with me anymore in the way it used to before. Is it that I am not having sufficient solitude to entertain it? Am I embracing life that will yield only worldly pleasures or am I preparing for Hereafter?

I like to look good, who doesn’t? Perhaps, if not good, then at least presentable. Does looking good serve the reason of my existence? Should I be worried about my physical appearance or the appearance of my spirit? If I came face to face with it someday, will I be able to recognise it. Mirror is my best friend, I love to watch the young woman I am growing into but do I have the courage to watch the reflection of my soul in the mirror? I am always posing for a good picture if somebody flashes their camera in my face. This is the age of ‘Selfie’ – one can hold their cellular phone to their face and capture an incredible shot. I will like to see a ‘Selfie’ of my soul. I am told beauty lies within then why this world is chasing the material beauty that is unsustainable; something that is destined to be destroyed.

We are the nation of fools. We blindly follow. ‘Fuck’ is a casual word for adolescents; if they use it then they think they sound very modern. Another very common word, ‘Bitch’; everything can be described in today’s world with the help of these two words by people around me. Of course, there are exceptions to these cases; hence none of the subject should be taken personally. When will we open eyes and realise it is already too late to undo the damage we have caused to this beautiful planet? When will we stop bullying that quiet girl in the corner of the classroom? When will we stop this disease of Racism from corroding our unity? When will we stop hating if our hearts are capable to love abundantly? I ask this 5-year-old boy to draw a heart. He doesn’t draw the complicated biological heart with veins and blood streams but he takes out his red crayon to draw a gigantic ‘lovely’ heart on an A-4 sheet and then colour it all red. He is innocent and doesn’t know how our hearts have blackened over the years. Without any proof, you call Muslims terrorists. Without any knowledge of their Holy Book, you accuse their religion of preaching hate and war. If terrorists in this world give a bad name to Jihad, did you ever take the initiative to ‘Google’ the word ‘Jihad’? No! You didn’t because you are happy with what Media is feeding you with. You are contented to be a blind-follower. Then why don’t you invite Zombies over and let them take your brains? At least, somebody will get fed.


Photo Credits: https://google.com/images

For a second, I thought I lost you. Your fingers let go of my hand and your pulse plays hide and seek with me. Your eyes are shut and your face is calm as if angels have already arrived. Suddenly, I hear you mumbling..

‘Mitsy, please don’t leave me‘.

I don’t know what to do, I feel powerless, as if I am shackled in chains of self destruction. How can I let you go when you have asked me not to?

‘Darling, I am right here’, I whispered.

You hold my hand as tightly as you can but I feel nothing. Your eyes are teary but you wouldn’t say a word. Of course, you and your feminine strength! But I know, beneath this Iron Lady of mine, there is my little chunky bear who is crying and hurting and I cannot do anything about it.

‘You ate anything?’, you struggled to speak.

‘Shush, don’t you speak! You worry too much’, I smiled.

I vowed to you on our wedding day that I will be there by your side forever and will catch every one of your teardrop before it lands on your cheek. Now for the first time I have failed to fulfil my vow. As I see a teardrop moistening your cheek, I scoop it gently with my finger before it dissolves in your skin. I feel like a criminal in my own body. You are not supposed to break like this. One after the other, each day is draining you out and as much as I want to take you away from all this, I cannot. It’s difficult to believe that humans like us can become this vulnerable and incapable that we have to give up to nobody but ourselves – our very own body.

I feel sick to my stomach watching these doctors fiddle with your body like a mechanic would with an automobile. I am watching you while these doctors are trying to understand your body. Your body is complex and functions differently than mine. It is attacked by those microscopic things called germs. As a child, I always thought of these germs as a creation of the imagination of Science. Perhaps, now I stand corrected. Doctors tell me that the germs attacking you are not ordinary germs we might be affected by if we don’t take care of our hygiene. Instead they are pretty dangerous; deadly enough to change the will of your body. Now, as your body and germs fight as one, so must our spirits in this battle for life.

While these doctors are trying to do their job, you are peaceful like angels have taken you away from me. For a second I think I have lost you all over again but it’s the story of my life. Your disease is draining the life out of your system and watching you come and go is draining mine.

Journey for two

We're meant to be one - two bodies but a single soul!

We’re meant to be ‘one’ – two bodies but a single soul.

The core of my heart is blue,
Seeking love to breakthrough,
Enchanted in your spell, I knew,
Life will never give me such a view,
I abandoned everybody in my crew,
Fearless, I lived on the edge like you,
Suddenly, it was me drinking your youth,
I poised motionlessly on the truth,
I surrendered my freedom to you,
I poisoned my self esteem to get through,
I stabbed my courage before it grew,
I let my passion burn in ashes few,
I disarmed myself for there was nothing due,
No battles anymore, the pictures I drew,
The Blood spattered wind as it blew,
For now was the time to comprehend this clue,
The journey of love is a ride for two.


Photo Credits: https://www.google.com

Almost()

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Almost absolutely,
He took away my breath;
Almost single-handedly,
He conquered my heart.

Almost immediately,
He confessed his love;
Almost spontaneously,
He promised me a ‘Forever’.

Almost motionlessly,
He made his first move;
Almost gracefully,
He lifted me in his arms.

Almost generously,
He blew his kisses;
Almost miraculously,
He build us up.

Almost quickly,
He savoured every inch of my body;
Almost boldly,
He claimed what belonged to him.

Almost effortlessly,
He became my world;
Almost promptly,
We were each other’s abode.

Almost massively;
We grew in love;
Almost flawlessly,
We held each other.

Almost necessarily,
We chose a wrong path;
Almost certainly,
We agreed to separate.

Almost accusingly,
His eyes didn’t utter a word;
Almost mournfully,
I accepted the Fate’s challenge.

Almost shortly,
I realised what I have lost;
Almost horrifyingly,
There was no way back.

Almost carefully,
I took a wound to my heart;
Almost soothingly,
I lived in peace with the pain.

Almost hungrily,
I waited and waited;
Almost harshly,
I realised the truth.

Mostly, life will almost stop happening;
If I can precisely predict about its certainty.


Photo Credits: https://www.google.com

Invisibility

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For as long as she was in his life, my presence wouldn’t count. For as long as I will have to be compared to an image of another being who was clearly seamless, I wouldn’t relish my imperfect reality. For as long as I was invisible to him, I would have to retaliate to convince him that I exist; that I have feelings too and that there beats a heart in the centre of my body that is capable of loving and hating. Now, it was in his hands to decide which of the lesser evil to choose.

Beyond Betrayal

I surrender to the voice of your heart; Hold me tight before the good tear us apart!

I surrender to the voice of your heart;
Hold me tight till death do us part!

I am tired of pretending that everything is fine;
There are deep scars behind this smile of mine.
I am over-thinking and playing with insanity in my head;
I am wide awake but my body is sleeping instead.
“I want to talk it out”, you screamed;
I stayed quiet and guide you through my thoughts as it seemed.
You penetrate through the cells of my mind;
My body’s alert with its defense guarded in case you’re left behind.
As my system senses an intruder within;
It shuts down immediately before it could sin.
I hear your voice echoing in my brain;
As my body experiences shock and strain.
My immune system is ashamed and has no other choice;
My body is already losing its voice.
What about my heart; will it stop beating?
Will you be satisfied now that finally God and I will be meeting?
Now that I know my body betrayed me;
Destined to be dead, destined to be free.

Be Yourself!

Being Yourself is the best thing you can give to this world!

Being Yourself is the best thing you can give to this world!

This life is playing with me, doesn’t it play with everybody? However, what is the gist for grief and joy to be a part of my life when I now wish that it should be neutrality to embrace me. My heart is fragile; it weeps when I am miserable and it doesn’t know how to confine the sorrow. It laughs when I am ecstatic not knowing how to cater for my bliss. Why is it that I am never contented? Is it just me or that’s normal for Earthlings?

I want a life where I can choose the outcome of my activities. I want to be a judge of my very own actions. Am I asking too much? Is it too much to ask for people to mind their own business and let me mind my own? Is it too much to ask of people to not watch me in a bizarre manner if my arms are linked with my best friend’s and my hair are dyed pink. I do not care what they think about me but when the ‘staring business’ happens frequently, it makes me curious of what beauty is confined in me that people are attracted to give more than a glimpse to an ordinary girl like me.

My mother once told me that I have to be ‘Myself’ no matter what other people think of me. Now, that I haven’t seen my mother in past six years; I wonder if her advice would be the same. Should I continue to be myself or should I start paying heed to the cold stares and judgmental looks around me? My mother watches down on me every night from the Heaven. I hope I make her proud.

I am fifteen years old. My life is shaking and I have passed the point of knowing what right to do in which right place in when right time. Regardless, I have learnt something: I am in a better condition than many people in this world. I have clothes to wear, food to eat and clean water to drink unlike people living in less privileged areas like parts of Africa. I will always complain about something not being right or as per my wish because that’s the part of my human nature but I can take the time to be grateful to Almighty for all that I have.

Before it’s too late, we have to stop this Human Hypocrisy. The truth is you may not be perfect but you are yourself. Be thankful for what you have and who you are.
Learn and Survive – life is all about learning and surviving.