Note: This is my very first attempt to write a Haiku. I have been inspired by various bloggers around the blogosphere to try my pen (or for the matter of fact – keyboard) at it. After reading many beautiful and breathtaking “Haikus” written by various bloggers; I came to the conclusion that I should try to attempt this form of poetry as well. Due to the fact that it is my first time, all corrections are warmly welcomed so I can improve my skills on that part after all “Practice makes perfect”. According to me the choice of flavor can’t be justified unless you try other flavors too so here goes my attempt. Though I am not sure whether I made it to the right path or not but let me give you the task to judge it honestly.
HAIKU # 1
Flow of the river
Mother Nature shivers
Love outclasses the pleasure’s quiver
HAIKU # 2
Love confines the sour flavor
World’s beauty serves the captivating savor
Voyage of faith to explore and endeavor
HAIKU # 3
Almighty secures me within His arms
The quest for excellence is my sacred alarm
The combination of holy charm and dilemma to harm
HAIKU # 4
Life’s reality overtakes the fascinated imaginations
Time becomes slow-paced with the over-delayed duration
Pursuing love schools the ecology laying the vital foundations
OH goody! I was the first to like this. 🙂
They are all lovely. I never could get into haiku. I remember having to do some in high school. But I always felt I was making something up that I really didn’t feel. Trying to find words to work with just to fit them together.
I can confess this now because the high school teacher is long gone. lol
Yeayyy!! I love it that you liked it FIRST!!! S o glad to have earned such a precious and sincere follower! I love you s much sweetheart for your dedication to keep up with my blog!!
Well, I am not sure whether I did justice to the format of Haiku or not but at least I tried!! Thank you for the encouragement and a soft laugh in the end..
Nice, I have never been able to grasp haiku.
Ahhh.. Alex, I wrote them in around five minutes hence I have no idea whether I did justice or not. The concept of Haiku is complex yet lovely.
Thank you for your kind words.
the feelings are all marvelous sweetpea..
Really?? You have been a great inspiration for me to attempt this! Glad to hear from you!!
I am truly honoured…email me, and I’ll give you a quick lesson on the form of this style when I have time, not that I’m a stickler for rules or an expert…these, are most lovely haiku deviants…:) a most pleasurable style as well :)I do them all the time
Haiku Deviants – what did you mean?? Didn’t get you there!!
I will surely mail you, I think I do need lessons!!
lol..these are awesome!!..you will see. the email is on my gravatar
Okay, thank you so much for the information and assistance R!!
I have no concept of the Haiku myself just can not grasp it so if your commenter above gives you a lesson please share via email. I did think these were quite lovely (as usual ), I find that for a 17 yr old you have a very old soul with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. Love ya xxxxxx
Sure Len, I will forward the lessons to you, do you have your email mentioned in gravatar too or will you type it in here??
Thank you for your encouragement always, it feels like home when coming from you.
Love you loads,
ahh shucks you made me blush …again 🙂
Hahaha 😀 I am sure, ya look great with the pink cheeks!!
may you enjoy your Haiku voice,
I enjoyed your offering….
gentle footsteps on
words dance from within a heart
nightfall without fear
Wow!! You framed such a beautiful Haiku. I hope I can master it well to..
Thank you very much for enjoying it Bill.[Smiles]
I am sure you will, it is such a fun thing to do. Enjoy, and let your creativity flow. — bw
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement B!!
Have a good night!!
never be embarrassed, for Haiku can never be wrong, and I admit I even count the syllables on my fingers ( smile )
Really?? You do!! Wow B!! Well, I am never embarrass to try!! You learn to run after falling various times, so I have good to go spirit for learning, dear!!
Thank you once again.
I think you will do just fine! 🙂
Thank you B!!
Your encouragement plays a great part in boosting my confidence level!
#4 for me. Wow. 🙂 Content and form are super.
Awwww Charron!! Thank you so much!!
Love you loads,
I like how you are into poetry .. love them too ..
Thank you so much Isaac. I love your blog as well, makes me laugh like anything.
Thank you my dear friend…will share u one poem I wrote… maybe one day soon
I am waiting eagerly to read your self-written poem [Smiles]
I love them all.. Great start.. and now you have “Lady Day” for support, you’ll only become better 🙂
Awww… That is so sweet of you. Thank you.
haven’t a clue about haikus so not the best judge but i enjoyed them
Thank you lovely ❤
Hello Haiku Queen,
I love those haikus. You are good in shorter version of poems too.
Hey, I like the shape of all four haikus…it looks like an Xmas tree 😉
Hahaha B! You never fail to make me blush with your titles!! Thank you so much for liking them!! You always encourage me and take me to cloud nine!!
Ya are a great observer!! I just observed after ya wrote it…. They do form the shape of Xmas tree!!
These are all very lovely, Naima and I am no expert, but have written many also and have received tips from other bloggers who write them very well…I assume you’ve received more information from Lady Day, too, so I look forward to reading more! I invite you to check out my haiku category, only if you have the time. 🙂 xx
Lovely piece of share!
Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words as always !
Well – to say it is your first attempt – I think you have a natural talent for this! I find Haiku’s very difficult!
I love, love, love your Haiku #1 I think it is beautiful!! 🙂
Thank you so much Alex for always encouraging me, your visit to my site is always a great honor for me!! You yourself are a beautiful poet and when the comments come from you – I feel like a cherry on the top!!
My personal favorite is Haiku No 1 and 4 !!
Much love to you,
I am afraid I will be on holiday for 1 week – I will stalk you oops I mean visit your site when I return!! 🙂
Awww.. No problem hons!! Have a good holiday!!
i can’t do a decent haiku….
it has rules!!! lol
Yeah, it does! I try to keep them in mind and then everything flush off! That’s why I was not expecting it to be such a blast! Thank you for encouragement lovely!
A briiliant first, Naima.
Thank you so much sweetheart ❤
fantastic four naima! just amazing!
Thank you sweetheart!!
On a favorite blog
Ah, early morning delight!
Awww… You are too kind Paul! I loved this Haiku!! Truly adorable!! Thank you so much for such an afternoon delight for me!
Good Morning anyway [Smiles]
I think you must be in England? I am on the west coast of Canada, where it is still breakfast time! 🙂
Ahhh, you guessed it right [Smiles]
Wonderful A great first attempt at Haiku Naima. I am never good at this Haiku, so I may not be a good choice to comment on your Haiku. But I like your words a lot. Keep it going.
Thank you so much for liking it! I have not attempted it again as it requires concentration but I would have to master the skills to do a good job at it as haiku comes with rules!
aloha Naima. you have asked for information – or lessons regarding haiku. I am responding to your request.
I see you have information coming in about haiku. cool on that. regardless of the rules (imo) keep writing haiku. it is not how fast you understand the rules (imo again) it is that you keep trying and then it is which rules you think are important to follow…
I agree with Lady Day and would say these are more like deviations than haiku as it is understood today. that they are thoughtful works does not change no matter what we call them.
btw too – haiku is plural as well as singular – like sheep or deer. so it is one haiku or ten haiku.
you are right there are rules with haiku (and almost all of them can be broken – however it is probably best to break a rule after you understand the rule – at least in the beginning).
one of the online sources I value regarding haiku is Jane Reichhold’s short form poetry site called AH-HA Poetry found here:
start with the haiku section in the side bar. you do not have to read it all. or even all of the section on haiku at one sitting. … however if you want to know and understand haiku, keep this site in mind and return to it periodically (imo). there are many other good haiku sites as well. read a little and skip lightly over what doesn’t make sense or is too much for now.
eventually it does all make sense. all you have to do is keep at it, keep trying. it can be a life long journey – for me it keeps getting more and more fun the more I learn.
one simple place to start is as some replies have suggested – count syllables. without going into it (plenty of places explain it well) haiku in English requires 17 syllables OR LESS.
I hope this helps. I know I can go overboard. just take the parts that make sense and let the rest go until later. reading a lot of haiku helps. and reading great haiku helps even more – you are already doing this so cool on that and have fun too. aloha.
My gosh!! Thank you so much for your comment! It helped me a lot. Keeping it in view, I would make a second attempt. Thank you so much once again. You are a great Haiku writer yourself!!
Haven’t ever come across Haiku’s before, I now feel slightly ignorant, but these are quite beautiful little pieces of art! I would try one myself but unfortunately I have a horrible habit of writing massive paragraphs! This is also the reason I know I’ be awful at flash fiction, something I think you’d be great at by the looks of things.
Thank you so much for dropping by! I loved your blog, it was a great adventure exploring it .
These are all incredible Naima! Wonderfully done. 😀
Thank you so much sweetheart!
Hugs right back,
Oh Naima! I missed this but am so glad I found it…..what a wonderful first attempt at haiku! I am loving your creativity and imagination with it…..absolutely lovely, my dear! 😀
Thank you so much!! Can you stop being a super woman in my life – just as perfect as any inspiration can ever be!! Love you loads!
Lovely you and enlightened soul!!
Love right back,