Settling into UK!

Hey ya fellas! I apologize sincerely for vanishing for a week or so but I had to or rather I put it like this that I was too much messed up in the emotional trauma that I was going through that it made it difficult for me to inform my lovely family here! I have read too many posts on Renard’s blog expressing his miserable feelings for the bloggers who vanish without explaining the cause and though I have had a sincere readership around yet I failed to inform you all and that is why I feel awful so apologies, apologies and apologies! And I hope its granted now!

My books – Business, Mathematics, English (Three subjects for this term which ends on December 7th 2012)

Now the question is where have I been? Interesting question! I am no more in my country but in England for my studies i.e my undergraduate program! The previous week was crucial! I covered 6 chapters of Business Studies and 5 chapters of Mathematics and submitted the project of Business on Friday and wrote the maths test on Thursday (which was nearly perfect!) Apart from studies which are smooth enough now after a rushing week because I arrived two weeks later than the starting date (Another story why I was late – briefly, I turned 18 in August and it took longer for my identity card to get to me and as soon as I got through it, I filed my visa and fortunately I received my visa in 5 working days!)

Clouds forming before it starts to rain or rather drizzle! I love the smoky skies in here – this place is romantic! (lol)

Settling into UK – not a problem at all! Lovely people out there in almost freezing weather and yeah romance pouring my heart with the rain tickling my face! According to me, it never rains in here instead it drizzles! I like the feeling of walking on the lonely and empty streets aimlessly trying to figure out where I have to go. I love getting lost and then finding my way back again and the sweetheart babies you see all around you; almost perfect but I miss my family terribly! The most difficult part is when you sit all alone by yourself trying to eat but you can’t cause you miss your family’s dinning table, your parent’s arguments and siblings chit chat and funny pranks! I have to cry to myself because if I will be weak, my mum will certainly be not better! My room is okay – thankfully it is my room only so I do not have to share it with anybody even being on university’s accommodation!

I carried it all the way from Morrisons to my room – those 15 minutes were hell!

Plenty of stories in my head and I want to let all of them out! My flight was 7 hours delayed and I got to know it on Dubai International Airport when some Italian guy (whose English accent was a terrible pain for my ears) told me how they do not have enough passengers to fly to Birmingham! I simply never knew how Emirates could ditch me like this but those 7 hours were an incredible experience. The sense of responsibility that ensured me how I had grown up and can do everything independently now. Those 7 hours when I had to look after my money, my luggage, keep contact with my parents, resisting the sleep when I was up for more than 24 hours and what not. Dubai Internstional Airport was my first examination and with His cooperation, I succeeded it like a victorious warrior! I reached my accommodation at 11:00 pm on October 12th and the very next day I realized I had to do my grocery all on my own (which I had never done before) and I had to walk like crazies! Yeah, I missed my driver and at times my car as well but with time walking was a pleasure instead I discovered how I can observe many things minutely when I walk and see the world without technology!  I have been to city center twice and I kinda bought many things though I am not a shopaholic at all but I guess that was the need cause UK is kinda freezing and will continue to freeze more and more with every passing day! Primark, H&M, Topshop, Zara’s, Integration,  Evans – you name it and I am sure I have been there! I am still discovering good restaurants though right now Subway and my own cooking skills had help me enough!

World Of Coins!

The very big change for me was MONEY! Amazing! It took me almost a week to learn about currency, coins, pence and I am still on my way to learn more about them! We had maids back in home to do everything, from ironing clothes to polishing shoes and almost everything. Now, I wake up 2 hours before I have to leave so I can iron my clothes and look about my shoes and then leave almost 40 minutes before because it is a 20 to 25 minutes walk to my school from my accommodation and I leave the margin of 20 minutes in case of any accident (God Forbid) I never imagined how time would play with me and change me within a week! I thought I was careless (clutz) and may be I still am but I don’t see it. The very big problem for me is to look about my keys and wallet; back in my home country I never had a wallet! All I ever did was slip few bucks in my jeans but wallet – NO!

Talking about Leicester, it is not a busy city like London but it is still busy enough. Traffic can prove you and when you see Audi and Mercedes cars out there, you are like Woahh!! (Just Kidding) It is like a Mini China in here cause you will find so many Chinese people! Okay, they are Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Nepalese but all of them look almost same so you can never ever tell who they are! Now what I am fed up of is every other person asking me if I am from AMERICA! I am not boasting about myself but hundreds of men and women have asked me if I am from America because they say my accent is American and when I tell them from Pakistan, I see their eyes bulging out as if I have said that I am the president of US. Excuse me, get a life – my school’s principal will kill me if she gets to know how I am receiving such a comment because we are taught British English then HOW THE EFFING HELL I POSSIBLY CAN SOUND LIKE AN AMERICAN? Does that even make sense? The very first person to tell me was a guy on the plane, then the immigration lady(until she saw my passport), then this surgeon I met in the grocery store, then almost every receptionist on the university information desk, the receptionist guy on the accommodation information desk, cashiers in the shopping malls and I am tired of giving them that look to not repeat it! You know how is it like? Let me demonstrate, consider I am talking to a lady who is the saleswoman of H&M;

Naima: Excuse me, Can I see this?

Saleswoman: Yeah sure!

Naima: Thank you (Smiling) – But I don’t want heels you see.

Saleswoman: Oh! Are you from America? You have an American Accent!

Naima: (A crucial look and then a smile and says with grinding teeth) Everybody says so though I don’t know why!

Pasta – Cooked on Friday, 19th October 2012!

Chicken and Capsicums – Cooked on Saturday, 20th October 2012!

Chicken and Vegetable fried Rice – Cooked on Sunday, 21st October 2012!

I know at times it is a LOLing situation for me but I have to bear with it. I don’t mind being the way I am so back out! Another worse thing in here is that it is autumn and I hate to walk on the fallen leaves! I mean, why did they ever taught us that leaves are living beings because now I feel miserable when I see plenty of them lying on the floor and I have to walk over them! I feel guilty at times and curse my science teachers for being so mean back then when I was 9 or 10. I started cooking like 3 days back that means from this weekend cause I had to buy my cooking pans and everything and I think I am doing pretty well if I eliminate comparing it with my mommy’s food! Of course, she is a professional! I see old couples being too romantic – holding hands and linking arms and I go back in my memory to recall when did my parents or even grand parents did it last time in front of me! I adore the people here, their innocence and the love they share through their smiles! (Believe me or not, I am almost smiling to everybody on my way; exclude the young guys please cause they will take a different meaning out of it)

Cooking and eating – a good time pass; need no friends! (lol)

Briefly, I enjoy in here. It is an adventure ride. Lazy mornings in my bright room with a chilly wind that knocks me down and I stretch my arms thinking if I can see some other faces than Chinese (Just kidding – no hard feelings please but the fact is there are too many Chinese out here and I appreciate their love for education) As expected, no friends yet but I think with time, I will be okay. I talk to a Singaporean girl in my class *Ann* who has a boy friend so she is too busy with him all the time but she is a great girl to talk to and I have been lately talking to this Canadian guy *Marcus* who has explained me the maths and business problems that I have not understood after reading on my own! He had been a great helping hand but again it is just a hello-hey with them; they are not yet friends! I am too bad at it, I know but I hope to do good!

PS– I know I have missed out whole a lot on reading the blogs I follow but I will try to manage it out whenever possible! Thank you for the support and cooperation as always! It is greatly appreciated! Stay blessed!

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A Thoughtful Morning!

Today’s morning was different and beautiful. Not because I had consumed a good amount of caffeine or that I went for a long romantic drive but because I was awakened by a little baby who compelled me to abandon my dream valley. Usually I’m an early bird so I knew it wasn’t too late but finding a baby around my bed and my mum rushing all around with her high-pitched voice ensured me that today’s morning was dedicated to her guests. Without my spectacles, I am almost blind so I couldn’t make out how the baby looked like while I tossed and turned in bed fighting with the sheets and pillows. I rummaged on the bed trying to find my spectacles and finally GOTCHA! As soon as I saw that baby clearly; smiling to me holding the side of the bed, I dashed to her and held her in my arms! I then realized that brushing teeth first would be better and then after getting done with the morning systematic routine, I was with the baby. I have no clue why am I attracted towards babies too much but anybody can be the victim to their cuteness, isn’t it?

Innocence of babies is one main reason for attracting almost everybody. I love them for their beautiful ways to learn step by step. With a growing baby, you are learning new things everyday yourself. The babies never “GIVE UP”– a great lesson for all of us. They may fell down million times over when they are learning to walk or sit but their determination and will power is unbeatable. Trying to achieve what they see other people doing becomes their ultimate goal and they achieve it some way or the other. They start crawling, standing and then walking with support and then a time comes when the baby needs no support! His legs can bear his weight and he walks well enough. Life has a same psychology; it treats you like a baby. It bruises you and you have to learn to stand again. There may be many huddles and you may fell down many times over but your strength and determination is counted on for helping you to move on with the failures to embrace victory at the end of the day. I watched the baby who continuously tried to walk without support. She fell at times but all she did was look at me and laugh. It was the baby of some new neighbor who visited my mommy to know about the area and all. This baby made my morning pleasant and thoughtful. At times, life treats you in a certain way to learn from others being a mere observer. I was treated nobly by learning how a year old baby can be an inspiration for a new morning and the reason for my splendid smile.

Life is a saga
A panel of story ruled by the antagonist
Truth radiates the world

Beyond The Vision!

When I was a little girl, the world around me was like a bubble. I now think, if I would have popped my finger out of that bubble in those days, the world would have not been observed as a merry-go-round by me. A small girl who bombarded her parents with a “WHY”, “HOW” and “WHEN” frequently and who was fearless to burst the bubble and come face to face with the ruthless reality pertaining in the society; but Alas! The vindictive time, it always has a great timing! At the age of 4, this girl asked her teacher, “Ma’am, why can’t birds speak?” That day her teacher told her that every WHY in the world can not be answered and due to the undeveloped brain cells which failed to analyze the answer in the appropriate manner, that answer of the teacher was saved as a permanent file in ROM of her brain that could never be removed. Whenever, she faced a situation or a question and as soon as her brain used to prepare her for asking WHY due to the perplexity, the same stored file used to bang her head at the right moment reminding her of the teacher’s answer. She laid in her bed every night wondering how the sky is standing without pillars when no building can. She marveled how the sun shines so brightly when the moon was merely the opposite. She was bewildered when she questioned herself why the sea is so immense that she can’t see the ending spot. The perplexed questions ended every night with an exposure to the unexpected valley of dreams. Hence, that is the time when this 4 year old girl started coming out of the sealed bubble. She now wanted to be a colorful butterfly which can fly and be responsible for her very own flight.

Some of my many journals!

This girl started developing wings and the bubble was harmed every time her wings flapped at any instant. She lived in the world of her QUESTIONNAIRE. The questions, she kept to herself which were ultimately the reason for the quest to discover and explore beyond her knowledge. She wanted someone to hold up to her and answer her; she again faced hard time analyzing which medium could be the safest. Yeah, her wit clicked, why not her very own mother; but again that permanently stored answer of the teacher amplified her mystification and that is when she discovered that there exist a PAPER and a PENCIL that can be her best friend and unlike any other beings on this planet, their mouths will be forever sealed. She was amazed to discover such an innovative idea and at the age of 8, she started maintaining her very own registers. She did not want anyone to know about her thoughts regarding anything; she wanted those journals to be as personal as her body was to her. She was unaware of the fact that an eight year old doll would not be given sufficient privacy to survive and hence would be intruded more than once if the hidden registers came across the eyes of her guardians. She tried her level best to never let anybody know that she writes to release the burden off her shoulders; she carried those registers in her bag every time with an unpleasant fear of her thoughts becoming publicized.

Around the corner, this truth was not concealed for a very long time and she found her mother reading one of her private journal once she woke up from a very sound sleep. That was the first time she ever yelled at anybody. She was crying, she was blaming herself, she was regretting for choosing paper to be her best friend as it eventually showed its disloyalty. There was nothing confidential mentioned in those journals which could not be read by her mother but the very mutual thought of how untrustworthy even a non-living thing can be occupied her and this trauma didn’t end well. Her mother held her, caressed her, kissed her and embraced her collecting her entirely in her maternal arms where she sobbed for an eternity. She kept repeating the same line of how she hated herself. Within this phase, she realized one of her very good qualities that she doesn’t require an eternity to get over a mishap. Within two days, she was the same cheerful girl who lived in her own world with the same innocent heart building more question with every passing moment but now she did not have any best friend. At school, she was a quiet and shy girl who always succeeded in academics with a remarkable margin but showed no interest in any extra co-curricular activities. The time continued to pass by and taught her various lessons of life but she missed that unfaithful friend of hers – PAPER! The only thought that used to startle her was that why could she not forgive her best friend? After a year or so, she recovered and was friends with PAPER again. This time she wanted to be more aware of her mother not reading anything; she was now growing into an adolescent and the life was chasing her like she was a bone being chased by a starving dog. She continued filling sheets and sheets with her personal experiences, her daily affairs, how the world haunted her, how she wanted to be everything but not a wife (like her mother), how she wanted to explore the space and etc. The dreamy world was yet not over until 12, subsided with mature thoughts than her age-group. Even her dreamy world craved the meaning of life and the reason behind her existence. She often used to write about it when she entered into a very charming and alluring phase of any human’s life – TEENAGE!

Now this doll was 13; no more a doll indeed. She was a grown up girl who was ready to flap her wings open and explode the bubble confining her abilities. She flew swirling around the boundaries of life and exploded it with a charisma. Her teenage was abnormal or rather should I say it was normal because it was not the same boy-friends, drinks, clubs, pubs and dance floors that united her life and thrilled her but it was her escalating confidence that made her “UNIQUE” in the gatherings. Her parents were astounded themselves, she was paranormal with her brain grasping more than required for her age. She was no more a shy doll but a confident and stunning girl who could sway around with daffodils and make the universe dance on her finger tips. She turned out to be a debater where her teachers encouraged her to debate frequently to enhance her inborn skills with the weapon of experience. The paper remained her best friend throughout; though it was disloyal at times but she realized how her best friend could be someone else’s friend too. Her acquaintances called her arrogant, rude, she was blamed for her attitude when all she did was smile – her gleaming eyes smiled to their remarks. She was blessed with an enriched soul, all her job was to nourish it with plenty of resources in order to live up to what is expected of her by the world as well as Him.  

Let you soul be free like a flying bird because ETERNITY lives in there.

This girl is ordinary just like YOU. A compassionate soul living in everybody – the only difference between YOU and her is she listened and responded to her soul since the day it called out to her; she was accomplishing what she was asked for by her Almighty. This is a time to catch the right bus at the right station and listen to your blaring soul, let the questions seep your heart, get a medium to express yourself and immortal soul BUT be aware of the hazards and obstacles on your way because no accomplishment can be achieved without the audacity to try. Live every moment in a sacred way cause neither can you trust your breath nor your life – this little doll gave us the same message of how to never trust the voices you hear from your ears but trust the sole voice that you can hear from the ears of your heart and soul – the voice of Eternity.