Day 4: What Are You Afraid Of?

Now, this is the only good picture I could get after no-sleep-for-over-24-hours.
I love the sight of clouds — you can treat on them as well, you know? Enjoy ❤

I am afraid of losing myself in the chaos of this world. I am afraid of losing the vision that I can make a difference one day. I’d like to take one step at a time but reach my destination.

I am scared of wasting this precious life and not being able to recognize the purpose of my existence as a human (like why I was created a ‘human’ – to serve a greater purpose? what purpose?). Sometimes, I think I can try hypnotherapy but I rather keep it as my last resort and wander in search of my purpose at the moment. After all, I should give myself a chance first.

I am afraid of the ‘insecurity of future’. I have everything today and I might have nothing tomorrow. I have my loved ones today and they might not be with me the next day and I wouldn’t even be able to say Good-bye. I know how you all would be like ‘live in the moment’ but I can’t help thinking about tomorrow.

I am afraid of ‘Age’ but not ‘Death’. Probably, the cycle of life. For instance, when I see and touch my mum’s hands, I notice the wrinkles and rough texture of the skin of her hands, a result of years of hard work. I see the ‘old-age’ approaching. My mother is a woman who is sixteen at heart but watching her grow old sends shivers down my spine (Just to clear it, I am not afraid of aging myself).

I am afraid of not being able to fulfill my parents expectations. My parents have always given me the freedom to follow my dreams and do what I believe is right unlike the majority of Eastern parents. I can’t be who I am today without their support. Hence, one of my biggest fear is if I’d fail them one day. Worse off, what if I fail myself?

I am scared of the ocean — even more after the airplanes disappearing. I have read that around 70% of the ocean remains undiscovered, I can only imagine the miracles of this mysterious Nature underwater.

I am scared of animals. I really want to over-come this fear as it was developed because of a tragedy in my childhood. I was around 3 and these kittens were playing with me when I was walking to my aunt’s place which was a block away. Suddenly, I lost my balance when I tried to not step on the kitten and tripped over and fell in the drain. It became quite serious and since then I can’t get over this animal-fear. Also, when I was a kid, I used to dream snakes a lot. It’s just a few years ago when it stopped so I got quite paranoid with the crawling and wriggling creatures. Even the thought of snakes make my body tense.

I think that’s it for this post. I am sure there might be bulks more but I won’t bother stressing after such a long flight!

Until next time, Live, Love, Inspire & (don’t forget to) Smile. Believe in yourself and you can conquer all your fears.

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