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Diary of Nobody -VIII-

‘Let Go’ – I have no idea how many times have I heard these two words since you have left. What astounds me is that you are among those peeps who are babbling about ‘letting-go’ and its apparent advantages. I get all kind of advice about how letting-go is the best thing to do in my situation (Pardon me but when did I tell you about my situation – guilty of gossiping?) or the very cliched motivational clauses like ‘You are a strong girl; you will turn over a new leaf in no time and will do much better’. Oh please, I don’t need to hear all that because I am well aware of the sympathy drill so save your pity for somebody else because I know how strong I am and that is why I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I apologize if this sounds offensive but people seem to do it a lot for the sake of I-don’t-know-what and I absolutely hate it (the wonderful genuine gems can ignore it).

Letting-Go for me means a delete button and I don’t seem to have one. Oh wait, only machines have the privilege to have that button function for them but I’m a human which means that I will have to live with you in my system for the rest of my life.

Can I completely forget you as if you never existed? No, I can’t (unless I have dementia, amnesia or some other memory-loss issue).

So with no delete button, I am looking forward to a situation something like this: every time I will hear your name, I will wince; every time I will go to places we have been to, I will resist nostalgia; every time I am around something that is related to you or reminds me of you (which is apparently everything), it will be an open invitation to depression. Thus, even after ten years, you will serve me merely with delicious pain-cakes and mouth-watering sorrow-berry muffins.

So what exactly do you want me to let go?

Letting-Go for me means destroying the world I created with lots of love, warmth, affection, memories, sacrifices and just the tinge of the magnificent blend of perfection and comfort in the mere hope of a Forever. This world is my home and you want me to let go of my home. My life revolves around my home but you want me to let go so I can be homeless and lifeless.  You want me to let go of my perfection so that I don’t dare to imagine another again. You want me to let go of the luxury of being myself so I can no longer savor our flawless memories. You want me to let go of my happiness for the sake of a better tomorrow which neither of us has seen. You want me to let go of my love because you are apparently in love with another woman who supposedly can paint you a better world than the one you are a part of at the moment. However, do you ever feel the need to ask yourself if I want it that way too or is it that your selfishness will precede my selflessness yet again?

Feel me but don’t say a word,
Love me but don’t leave my mind blurred,
Between the lines of needs and wants,
Not for a second have my heart not desired you,
Ever since you vowed to me your love.

About globalunison

Writing is my passion and that is what I do here on this blog. I write about everything, whether it be Nature, Love, Hate, Relationships, Humans, Personal Life (where I discuss lessons learnt through real-life experiences), Food, Philosophy (sometimes) and much more. I write in any form whether it be Prose or Poetry. I am in search of ‘Myself’, hence there is not much I can tell you about me. Perhaps, I have a very brilliant idea. Why don’t you come along with me on my journey? I will always care to share and you can also enjoy the ride. For now, this is it. I am ‘ME’ – a wanderer in search of a fulfilling life. Until next time, Love Living Life! I express my sincere gratitude to all my Readers! -Naima

17 responses to “Diary of Nobody -VIII-

  1. The Bibliophile Diaries ⋅

    “Letting-Go for me means a delete button and I don’t seem to have one. Oh wait, only machines have the privilege to have that button function for them but I’m a human and that means I will have to live with you in my system for the rest of my life.” – I feel this with every fibre :’)

  2. AdiC

    This is a gem!! This is so sincere and direct! I love this piece…

  3. amoafowaa

    Wow! Matters of the heart. This is a very emotional post Naima. Blessings

  4. This is actually heartbreaking to read. All throughout I wanted to give you a hug.
    Letting go meant for me: accepting the feelings I had. There was no reason to try and avoid them, but once I accepted the sadness and anger, things got easier. I accepted my feelings in my daily life and realised that it is normal to feel a certain way. And with time you won’t feel sad about them. They’ll just be there without bothering you too much

    • I think ‘letting-go’ is not that easy but people tend to tell you otherwise. I mean, can they get real for one second?
      Thank you for your lovely words — you made my day. I hope you are doing fine.
      Much love,

  5. Alex Jones ⋅

    Thats the problem with memories, they live on, especially the traumatic ones. There are clever techniques to manipulate the brain into rewiring by associations, so when a trigger, for instance the colour red, reminds the individual of a negative event, the individual can replace it with a different association, such as strawberries and cream.

  6. izza ifzaal ⋅

    Letting go is tough! No matter what the situations we are entangled in but this word stabs directly and make the heartbeat slow and tattered! I just loathe this word~ But My god! how you described the rage in it is beyond words! intimidating uff~ keep up Naima you know you rock 🙂

  7. The last five lines say it all.! Wonderful! 🙂 Don’t have words to express that feeling of letting go, it’s not at all an easy thing to do and sometimes, impossible.!

  8. barrira

    Letting go is never easy, people expect you to have a button which would go off and you’d forget and be fine, what they forget is they take a part of you and leave a part of them-self with you and that’s how we are always incomplete, never in peace. *sigh*

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