If I had a time machine, would I travel back in time to relive my glorious days with you?
Yes, I would and then I would hit that ‘pause’ button so neither time nor the circumstances could take you away from me.
There was a time when my day didn’t begin unless I heard your voice. Your voice would bring millions of fluttering butterflies alive within me even when you were thousands of miles away. I needed your messages in every few hours to get me through the day. I didn’t need caffeine anymore; you had to fix me a dose – a love dose. I craved your company day and night. I wanted to watch our favorite movies and TV series together sharing a tub of popcorn, a can of coke and our warm bed. I needed you to melt me in your arms and steal me away from this world. I longed for your presence but the distance stood as a fatal barrier between us. I didn’t realize the precise moment when my sense of this world became entirely restricted to just one person – you.
You were a man of your own kind. I survived every challenge that came my way: from being unwanted sometimes to being unloved the other times; from being repeatedly taken for granted to being able to cope up with you cold attitude and mood swings every now and then. One second you were a warm lover and the other second a ferocious beast. I ensured myself that I would muddle through anything for us because you were my final destination. I didn’t see anything beyond you not because I couldn’t but because I didn’t want to. I was left shaken and traumatized after every one of your raging thunderstorms but I believed that my patience would pave rather a fine and lasting ground for us only for you to prove me wrong. I didn’t realize the precise moment when I had mistaken my flaws for my strength.
You have me wondering if I was just a fool in love. You have me wondering if there really was any fire of passion burning wildly in the depth of your eyes that enticed me. You have me wondering if our love was merely a delusion to justify the necessity to be with each other for a destined while. You have me wondering if you were me, would you love yourself the same way I do or cage your emotions and give up. You have me wondering if losing you is freedom or an imprisonment to my own existence. I didn’t realize the precise moment when these nerve-racking uncertainties overtook the empire of my reality.
It sounds like you really tried. I hope over time you feel less of the uncertainty that you express so well Naima.
I just wish I can imbibe all of these beautiful words
Thank you for always being so kind with your comments ❤
Naima you took me to some other world with exceptions of few dissimilarities but the way you poured your heart out was wrenching but then again don’t settle for less 🙂
Yours words are magic but wait till the right soul feels tangled with its spell 🙂 Takecare! ❤
May be there is no soul to entangle with me (lol) You know loner type?
haha! I have been loner for a very long time as well and I can relate to you ! 😛
I know how it feels trying your best to hold on to someone just with a hope that he will change with my love but at the end, its all over.
Everything seems to be a waste but then love leads to sacrifice, either the one we love or our ows self.
Exactly — sometimes we hope that out love and sacrifices will change the one we love for the better only to realize we have been wrong all along.
Thank you for your input, Archita. I hope you are doing fine.
With all my pleasure, Naima! Yes I am fine and I hope you’re doing good too. 🙂
I’ll take a moment to come back to this world from the one your words took me to. The serenity with which you express the storms occurring within you is just so beautiful. I understand that sometimes we find it impossible to understand the actions done by some people, but there are somethings that just meant to be. And sooner or later we do realize that we are much better off without the person who was once the only one we cared for. As they say, it is darkest before dawn. So have patience – sunshine will come 🙂
I am a person who believes everything happens for a reason and sometimes ‘it was just meant to be’ sounds like an excuse to run away from life, circumstances and the event that has left us somehow broken.
There is always a storm before a rainbow and then this is life — how can there be no drama?
This was quite touching to read, I feel a bit uncertain now too. You expressed your feelings very intensely!
Hope everything is working out for you soon, no one ought to live in misery. Greetings from Austria
Thank you for reading and your heartfelt comment.
You are right, no one ought to live in misery.
I am lost in your words. Very beautifully written. Really moved me.
Sometimes it just leaves you wondering for life. There are some questions to which you will never get your answer. You just have to make peace with it. Sad but true.
Indeed — there are no answers to certain questions.
Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.
You’ve said here in one note, what I’ve tried to say in a dozen poems. “This is everything,” as our generation says.
Thank you for stopping by Kadeen. I truly appreciate your comments.