Once upon a time, you were mad at me for faking a smile:
“If you can’t smile back genuinely at her (a stranger in the grocery store) then there is no need to smile back. Faking is not your thing.”
Today as I pierce my way through the crowd, there are many heads turning around smiling at me. I wonder why they would smile at a girl who is lost in her own world with earphones plucked in her ears. Anyway, they smile and sometimes I look away and the other times I smile back but I wonder if they can differentiate between a fake and a real smile. I am not sure what a fake smile is as I don’t intend to fake smiles around people – all I know is that I am socially awkward.
If you could see me today then you would see a smile that represents neither joy nor pain but it is merely an essential that I have to wear every now and then. This might come as a surprise to you but it has been a while since my heart has beamed with sheer delight.
I seem to have lost not only my smile but also my happiness. Eventually, I will find my way back home.
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