Don’t Stop Believing

When you think the whole world has turned against you,
Take a step back and don’t stop believing,
Let them say what they think is true,
Imagine the unimaginable and don’t stop breathing,
For there are mysteries waiting to be unravelled,
Make the impossible possible and don’t stop dreaming,
Life will knock you down every now and then,
It is okay to make mistakes,
Failure is the only way to ensure,
That you learn and succeed,
So that indescribable feeling you feel,
When madness embraces you,
To breathe magic into emptiness,
With which you can conquer anything,
Walking on the path towards your destination,
And every time you stumble and fall,
You know you can rise like a phoenix from the ashes,
‘Cause that is how it is supposed to be,
So when you think the whole world has turned against you,
Take a step back and don’t stop believing,
Believe in the miracles and believe in yourself,
Believe that your dreams are worth living,
So while you stand at the edge of the earth waiting to jump,
Your dreams somehow keep you from falling,
Now that you have lived the dark and experienced the light,
Don’t give it all up because you’re tired of trying,
Remember, it’s always worth a try,
Remember, you don’t need wings to fly.

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Diary of Nobody -XIII-

I haven’t written in a long while but that doesn’t mean you didn’t cross my mind. You did – every single day but I managed to not rant about the pain of being in love with somebody who abandoned me because I have visitors at the moment: oh yeah, you guessed it right! It’s my Mid-Summer Exams!

Not too long ago (if my memory serves me right: May 2014), you waited on me outside the examination hall while I wrote the exam. After the clock had counted down for three hours straight, I tried to barge my way through the crowd so I didn’t have to breathe in the smell of sweat and ink anymore. I managed to squeeze through all the cracks between people after grabbing my bag and revision notes and there you were: standing outside the Charles Wilson with a warm smile and a bottle of water. Without sparing you a chance to speak, I hopped and jumped in excitement giving you a detailed account of the three hours in the examination hall. You watched me fondly and held onto my finger as if I was a kid who would get lost in the crowd. Now that I think back to that moment, I think you were not afraid of losing me in the crowd but instead you wondered about the time when you’d disappear in the same crowd leaving me deserted.

Yesterday, I didn’t want to leave the examination hall because I knew you wouldn’t be there. Although my heart hoped for a miracle but my brain kept it on a leash so I wouldn’t expect miracles. Regardless, my eyes wandered and danced in the hope of merely your sight after I had left the building. Disappointment embraced me and I began walking back to the place which was once our home.

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Today, I went through all our pictures from when we first met to when we had bid each other farewell (I am not going to babble about how cute we were together). The shimmer in your eyes and the dimple sinking deep in your chin: I was watching you on the laptop screen and you cast a spell on me all over again. With the moments we had clicked, we had sealed the time within that moment and the memories came rushing back as I moved from one photograph to the other.

After spending three hours watching us together in the photographs and video-clips, nostalgia hit me hard in the gut and left me torn apart (just a little bit). You were very fond of capturing me when I wasn’t aware that you had been clicking me or when I wasn’t posing my usual poses because you were an admirer of natural beauty. Once you said:

“You are naturally beautiful. I must have been the luckiest person on this planet to feel the beauty within you and witness it radiating on your face. I am blessed to wake up to the person who makes my life beautiful every morning. You are allowed to blush without looking away [chuckles].”

So I dressed up all pretty in your favorite emerald green lace dress and clicked away the moment. I sealed my sadness in the photographs while I smiled and cheered (without posing may be) for being fortunate enough to know somebody I could cherish for a lifetime.

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The World of Labels

After a sickening eternity, rainbows lingered in her eyes. The violet emerged ever so charismatically in her cold grey eyes when she imagined a life beyond her cottage in the woods. The fireworks lightened her dark lonely heart with sparks of bright hope and vibrant dreams when she realized that she could finally fly in the indigo sky. She was unhappy to leave her nest and folks behind but at the same time exhilarated to step out of the shadows to embrace a new beginning. She was tempted by the world of unknowns and danger. Little did she know, life outside her cottage was a vicious trap but she wouldn’t understand unless she became a victim of its sweet pain.

The reality of her existence boomed with the blues of Sea-Holly as she was warmly welcomed by the place she had only dared to explore in her dreams. The buildings stood taller than the pine trees that surrounded her cottage in the woods. She noticed that the sun shone differently in this so-called flawless world as if it vacillated whether to share its precious light with the gloomy creatures. The stars didn’t sparkle with their usual pearly white light at night and she was taken aback by the unusual differences she had observed in such a short time span. Wasn’t Nature supposed to be same all across the planet? Pushing her thoughts aside, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to absorb all she could of her enthralling yet mysterious green surroundings.

Days passed by and her pale yellow aura projected that she was utterly excited and hopeful for the future since she had recently embarked on a spiritual journey. Although in reality, the palpable excitement she had once felt about her life had been diminishing slightly. It was not that she wanted to return to her nest but this thriving world didn’t appeal to her as much as before. As she began pondering over the matter, the stunning orange sky took over her senses. She gave up in the arms of an enchanting evening hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

Time taught her well. The land of her dreams was painted with red. They loved each other and fought with the same people they cared for. They plucked the blooming flowers and stole the delight of Nature to decorate their houses but at the same time preached to be environmental friendly. They complained about the cold weather in winters and about the heat in summers. They were capable of differentiating between right and wrong yet chose to favor and support the corrupt. They killed to enforce peace. They had labelled everything from the color of their skin to the blood in their veins. They treated their fellow beings differently based on their gender, profession, religion and race. They bullied the weak and hated to be reminded that they were in the same shoes not too long ago. They lived in the world of gadgets where they text-messaged often and rarely spoke. They shared everything on the social media in the name of ‘sharing is caring’ but in reality, the idea of sharing was almost unknown to them. They were never contented and always yearned for more. These creatures were not only different from her folks in the woods but also were complex. Their actions often contradicted their words as their minds did their hearts.

The rainbows in her eyes faded as this multicolored world of labels stomped over her dreams and awoke her to a harsh reality. The truth was bitter but the lies she had been living for the past few months had been sweet. How she wished to rewind time and be unknown to all the mysteries which had been unraveled. How she wished to be a child again.

Wait; was she one of them already?

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The Warrior Spirit

The first time when he touched her,
He claimed her soul to his breath,
She decided for his heart to be her home,
And together they vowed to never give it up,
Then one day, he took away her tomorrow,
Blended her boundless love with unlimited sorrow,
Since then, she had only known her shadow,
To be her ally in the darkness alone,
For every night when he was away,
She chose to drown in his memory,
Every morning when she woke up to an empty life,
She chose to deny the truth,
So she could surrender to the endless pain,
That pierced through her self-esteem,
Whenever she tried to say goodbye,
To the world they created together,
While he had left her behind to savor their doom,
She played with the broken pieces,
Of her withering and flickering heart,
So she could fool it just one last time,
With the hope that he will return,
And claim her to himself all over again,
But until then, she would survive the pain,
With a smile on her face,
And the warrior-spirited woman she is,
So don’t be late this time, she would be waiting.

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Hide and Seek

Beauty is not her face,
It is her thoughts,
The pain she hides behind her smile,
The tears she saves for the night,
Strength is not her physical capacity,
It is her willpower,
The battles she survived,
Those choices she made,
Wisdom is not her education,
It is her insight into life,
To allow herself the right to have an opinion,
To have the courage to be herself,
Success is not her wealth,
It is her happiness,
The motivation to achieve her goals,
The confidence to pursue her dreams,
Tears are not her weakness,
They are her language,
Whether sorrow or joy,
She takes refuge in them,
But did you ever see her bruised insides,
When she was hung over a lost lover,
And did you ever see the glow in her eyes,
When she had overcome her fears,
So she has been playing hide and seek,
For quite a while now,
You don’t always see what she feels,
Instead you have been looking at a world,
She created so it doesn’t reveal,
The mask she has been wearing to conceal,
Everything she truly is,
For she is scared that you will judge,
Her scarred soul and her intricate heart,
So don’t hate her,
Just let her be,
And set her free.

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Stench of Sorrow

The solitude embraced her,
For the longest time,
She concealed her pain with a plastic smile,
A bottle of wine and sleepless nights,
Holding onto the fragments of false hope,
And the shattering memories came flooding back,
Tearing up her heart all over again,
This night which she thought would last forever,
Surprised her with bright morning light,
Invading her mind and all her weaknesses,
So she could undo the damage that numbed her senses,
The smell of alcohol faded with the tick-tock of the clock,
But would they not be stifled by the fumes of sorrow,
The stinging wounds that could smell bitter,
Than the alcohol on her breath,
She would give them the benefit of the doubt,
And let alcohol fool them all,
For oftentimes her heart could soundlessly shout,
For oftentimes she could motionlessly fall.

All of you

Your love inspires me to paint all the different shades of my life on the canvas of your heart. I build the castles of my dreams in your arms. I carve my eternity within your existence. I see rainbows shining in your enchanting eyes. I taste hope when I kiss the rhythm off your musical lips. I feed on your laughter to see the dark night transform itself into bright morning light. I savor the passion with which you embrace me in your eloquent poetry. I breathe in your love to experience myself growing inside you. I gather that with your presence in my life, there will be no endings: either second chances or brand new beginnings. You and I are not the work of destiny; we are the power of choice.

I choose to consume you – all of me consuming all of you.

Behind the Disguise

Can you slip under my skin?
Pretend to be me for a day,
To see this brutal world passing by,
Living through yet another nightmare,
Don’t you stop, you will make it out alive,
To feel the wrath in my pain,
Crawling through the ice in your veins,
Don’t you worry, my love will keep you warm,
To taste the agony in my bittersweet tears,
Dripping through your fiery eyes,
Don’t you forget, you’re wearing a disguise,
To smell the pungent vengeance in my blood,
Pumping violently through your fierce heart,
Don’t you quit, it’s just the beginning of falling apart,
To hear the noise of silence in my mind,
Embracing your demons through the night,
Don’t you fear, wait for the morning sun to shine bright,
So if you live each day like it is your last,
Aching in love and numbing the pain,
Will you dare to be me again?

One Day..

One day you will feel my pain,
Burning underneath your skin,
One day you will feel my desires,
Aching within the core of your heart,
One day you will feel my energy,
Growing inside you,
One day you will feel my perseverance,
Easing your burdens,
One day you will feel my tears,
Wiping away the oceans of your sorrow,
One day you will feel my angels,
Conquering your demons,
One day you will feel my love,
Silencing your doubts,
One day you will feel what I have felt all along,
But until then, I will hope you know the way back home.

Born to Die

Flying in the air for days,
He forgot there existed a land,
Fighting the battles in haze,
He forgot he was a man,
Living every day like it’s the last one,
Chasing happiness and misery all along,
He forgot to remember,
The feel of life, the touch of a mortal,
The essence of true love, the joy of giving,
The audacity to forgive, the promises to get by,
He forgot to remember,
He was a man born to die.