I haven’t written in a long while but that doesn’t mean you didn’t cross my mind. You did – every single day but I managed to not rant about the pain of being in love with somebody who abandoned me because I have visitors at the moment: oh yeah, you guessed it right! It’s my Mid-Summer Exams!
Not too long ago (if my memory serves me right: May 2014), you waited on me outside the examination hall while I wrote the exam. After the clock had counted down for three hours straight, I tried to barge my way through the crowd so I didn’t have to breathe in the smell of sweat and ink anymore. I managed to squeeze through all the cracks between people after grabbing my bag and revision notes and there you were: standing outside the Charles Wilson with a warm smile and a bottle of water. Without sparing you a chance to speak, I hopped and jumped in excitement giving you a detailed account of the three hours in the examination hall. You watched me fondly and held onto my finger as if I was a kid who would get lost in the crowd. Now that I think back to that moment, I think you were not afraid of losing me in the crowd but instead you wondered about the time when you’d disappear in the same crowd leaving me deserted.
Yesterday, I didn’t want to leave the examination hall because I knew you wouldn’t be there. Although my heart hoped for a miracle but my brain kept it on a leash so I wouldn’t expect miracles. Regardless, my eyes wandered and danced in the hope of merely your sight after I had left the building. Disappointment embraced me and I began walking back to the place which was once our home.
Today, I went through all our pictures from when we first met to when we had bid each other farewell (I am not going to babble about how cute we were together). The shimmer in your eyes and the dimple sinking deep in your chin: I was watching you on the laptop screen and you cast a spell on me all over again. With the moments we had clicked, we had sealed the time within that moment and the memories came rushing back as I moved from one photograph to the other.
After spending three hours watching us together in the photographs and video-clips, nostalgia hit me hard in the gut and left me torn apart (just a little bit). You were very fond of capturing me when I wasn’t aware that you had been clicking me or when I wasn’t posing my usual poses because you were an admirer of natural beauty. Once you said:
“You are naturally beautiful. I must have been the luckiest person on this planet to feel the beauty within you and witness it radiating on your face. I am blessed to wake up to the person who makes my life beautiful every morning. You are allowed to blush without looking away [chuckles].”
So I dressed up all pretty in your favorite emerald green lace dress and clicked away the moment. I sealed my sadness in the photographs while I smiled and cheered (without posing may be) for being fortunate enough to know somebody I could cherish for a lifetime.
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u truly are the prettiest of pretty girl. but for now focus on exams Naima.. dont let your mind wander over 1000 thoughts .
All the best . cheers
Thank you for the wishes. I appreciate it :))
Life goes on and thebone who will steal your heart will come and you will forget everyone that came before.
Only if it was that magical and easy. Thank you Kim for your wonderful comments! ❤
Give it time.
Time says you’re not in an agony of the past, but you’re heading to somewhere you wanted to go earlier before. I’ve too much to read from you; I missed them due to some reasons. Looking forward read you soon, Naima. Hope you’re fine there. 🙂
Wherever I head, all I know is it will be my choice so I will stand by it and take everything that comes my way.
I hope to see you soon as well. Your feedback is always appreciated so I am looking forward to that.
I hope you are doing well.
Yeah! Never change that attitude, Naima. And of course, it’s always a great pleasure for me to go through your illicit thoughts. Will be here soon. Stay blessed. 🙂
You are such a lovely girl. 🙂
And you are amazing, Celestine. Thank you for being so kind ❤
This, here just melts my heart, and is my daily dose of smiles 🙂
I am happy to have made you smile :))
Your mind has clear images of all the beautiful moments spent but it is also strong to tell yourself that now you’re moving on and are not affected to that extent. I wish you all the very best for everything you want to achieve in the world.!
Hugs! ♡ 🙂
We all move ahead and in whatever direction we move — it’s moving on. Life never stops for everyone so there is no choice but to move on.
Thank you for the wishes.
Hugs right back,
It’s really difficult thinking of past times with a lost love or going through photos. 😦
But it somehow gives you hope that happiness can not be that difficult to embrace if we have been that happy once before.
I always like the world of memories captured in photographs — it’s sweet pain :))
Been there,done that and the best thing I can say is stay strong Naima 🙂 You just have to vent it all out if need to be to someone who is there always by your side !! But yeah first let the exams get over & in the summer vacations you can relax and get it all together 🙂 WP and everyone here has helped in a huge extent to heal and hoping that you will too feel good soon enough 🙂 Keep smiling, you look good 🙂
SHOW ME YOUR FACE MORE OFTEN ❤
Haha, you spoil me so much!! ❤
Oh I haven’t even started yet 😉
So good to see your adorable face!
Smile often its sunnah 🙂 & you are a great gal!
May Allah gives what’s best for you && a moving post 🙂
You are always so kind with your words, Izza! I know I am responding to this comment after an eternity but I still want to thank you for always sticking around on here.