Rising into a Fall

I sat here in the middle of nowhere, my feet jammed on the brake pedal, willing to let go off it any second to put my throbbing heart to rest. This cliff, which watches over 5000 feet of uncertainty can revaluate the certainty of the script of my fate and it wouldn’t hurt an inch of my being. I’d delve into the realm of dust and bask in the glory of nothingness and my so called free spirit shall really be set free. It often baffles me that we are led to blindly believe in the flair of every course of action being pre-destined while we fail to realize that it is in reality our choice which instructs the course of destiny. Destiny is merely a concept which unwinds the complexity of life for the very simplistic beings. However, the complexities cannot be negated by believing in something which is an open-ended aspect of controversy and have no reference to the context.

The reservoir of their time together flashed in front of her eyes like a kaleidoscope of memories and she knew that it was sufficient for her to take her final breaths with a smile – the cobblestone streets, their first kiss in the middle of the lush fields in Scotland, the scent of his musk overwhelming her senses, the adrenaline associated with his thoughts and emotions, the light reflected in his ocean blue eyes capable of illuminating the darkest of the imaginative fears and that crackling laughter to always take her breath away. Her eyes are tightly shut and jaws ferociously clenched with her arms pressed against the steering of her very first Porsche. It could not have been more perfect to let go of her only true belonging on her own terms surrounded by commodities which meant the most to her entirety. This car she sat in was the product of the proceedings left of her savings account she mounted while working as a bartender during her time at the university. The cliff was where Aaron, her high school sweetheart broke up with her, leading her to Frasier. Despite of all the heartache and trivialness attached with the unexpected breakup with Aaron, she knew it would have been impossible for her to call it quits if Aaron wouldn’t have been brave enough to address the concerns in their relationship, hence risking the existence of Frasier in her life. Frasier was her favourite memory of all, and the only risk ‘she ran by choosing her own terms and conditions was cracking his heart open. Perhaps, she was hopeful that he of all people would understand given he was the only person who understood her insides as if he co-existed within her.

I think Mother will be very unhappy with this choice in particular. My brain tells me that it may take Mother a lifetime to absolve my actions of sins she thinks only exist because of her faith in religious beliefs. It astounds me how she fails to understand that the Divine Force, commonly known as God if It even exists, and is the Provider for all of us then all It would wish for us is to choose happiness and therefore, my happiness is in letting go of the threads that deeply connect me with the circle of life. Father will be disappointed in me and I will no more be his champ. Finally, Uriel can seek the validation from Father that he believed was merely impossible because I stood as a rock-hard obstruction in his way. Father will appreciate for the very first time that Uriel didn’t turn out like me despite of him consistently breathing down Uriel’s neck to follow in my footsteps. I reckon all I will ever want to tell Father, if I ever could, is that I’d have a lifetime wasted if I choose to just suffocate my existence in the air which reeks of violence, hypocrisy and judgmental beliefs tainting the individuality, which is my human body over a vessel for something extremely sensitive and substantial: my soul. I believe it will pain my soul the most if Father even for a second will doubt his position of letting me be a free bird. If my decision to choose an eternity sooner than later will tarnish his belief that he should have listened to Mother and will admittedly give into her “I said so”, then every tear that moistens his cheek will be a stab tearing away at the base of my soul. These concerns have me second doubt my choices; if what I believe happens to dissect the core of not only the most important beings to me but also my soul even if it were to exist in its most natural state.

The most common of misconceptions to be construed with respect to her choice would be labelling her, some of which will stand out for self-explanatory reasons; the most pivotal one being selfish. A broken smile hatched at the curve of her mouth as she wondered if they really understood what it meant to be self-centred. Perhaps, they knew nothing about the philosophy of life, whose esse are in opposition to the biology of life; the latter of which they understand but the former of which their functional brains will find difficult to perceive. However, if she really believed in the surrender or abandonment as the ultimate salvation, she wouldn’t have waited all these years living on the edge given she was merely eight when it was past her head that the world will never be able to crack the intricacies of a human brain which for her was an utmost pleasure. It was her refuge from the brutality of humanity. She felt a stab of excitement and a pang of guilt concurrently.

“Follow your heart, Nora. It will lead you to your dreams. Trust your intuition, it facilitates self-discovery and inspires positive change. Be yourself; choose each day as an opportunity to better yourself and don’t forget to love yourself, love”, her father’s voice echoed in her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. The man did an exceptional job with her, preaching to her that being a misfit was as typical as the ways of a traditionalist. He was a protective father, like any other father, however he wouldn’t do injustice to the extraordinary his daughter brought to the world which filled him with sheer delight and pride. She pressed her propped arms against the steering wheel blaring the horns of the car to silence the doubts; she was struggling with the pendulum that swung at a pace faster than her heartbeat between her choice and their voices.

I have never seen Mother and Father have a similar opinion on a human before but Frasier was an exception. He won their hearts in their very first meeting with him. He was an absolute charmer. He helped Mother bake banana bread and blueberry muffins after lunch and set the table at the patio for the evening tea. He went to play golf with Father after the tea and returned swamped in advice on ways to improve his game. Father and Mother loved him so much in the matter of just an evening that Father had the hotel he was staying at cancel his stay with them and he ended up crashing in the guest room in our basement. What was there not to love about him?

When the home had snoozed that night, the night-owls they happened to be, they tip-toed their way into the patio to gaze at the starry sky. Frasier slipped his arm around her waist, gently pulling her closer and brushed the corner of her bottom lip with his thumb. He motioned for them to lay flat on their backs on the grass, his hand still clasping her waist ever so lightly. She inched closer and rested her head against his chest and the sound of his heartbeat felt like the wind chimes over the ripple of the ocean breeze calling her home. The silence in the air was golden. After a couple of minutes, he rolled over to lay on his belly slipping her head in the palm of his hand and the other arm snugged around her. He smiled his mischievous smile and the look in his eyes said it all. He moved closer and it felt like that the starlight had dimmed just for their moment. He pressed his lips against hers for not more than a few seconds when she managed to rid herself from his hold and dashed to the main entrance of the house. He chased after her and they crashed in the guestroom for the longest time, watching Netflix and sipping on the bottle of bubbly he got her parents just a day before. She brushed his knuckles while his fingers were laced with hers and he didn’t realize when he dozed off with his head perched on her shoulder. She pecked on his cheek, pulled the covers over him, tucked him in bed and sneaked out of the guest room, making the least amount of sound and motion. She laid in her bed wide awake staring at the blank canvas of her room ceiling, thinking to herself that what was it that she did to be fortunate enough to deserve someone like Frasier in her life, given humans usually weren’t her cup of tea. The thought of his chivalry put an insomniac to sleep that night and the very same thought shall today set the spirit of a wild caged soul free.

I don’t feel the need to leave a few words that perhaps will lurk in the lives of my people, serving as an excruciating reminder and the queer feelings that will be associated with it will only serve to defeat the purpose of slipping away as invisibly as possible in the realms of eternity. It will merely create a ripple effect of affliction, impacting the hearts I cherish the most to ache in grief of something symbolic of a celebratory cause. I believe my silence can speak volumes while my words may only serve to resurrect the essence of my being. This may commonly be misunderstood as selfish but I am rooting for the greater good here. However, sometimes, just sometimes silence is just as misinterpreted as words and I fear being misunderstood for making a bold choice yet again.

She wasn’t one of those who left their business half-done. She always has to have the last word.

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Author’s Note: With two very renowned names committing suicide this month, I felt it was very important for me to publish this piece of prose I have written a while ago. The background of this prose is a conversation I landed in with a bunch of peers  at a lunch a couple of months ago regarding what motivates suicide and how it is rightly ‘illegal’ on a social as well as religious account. It broke my heart that day to witness how ignorant we are even as an educated lot to not be able to acknowledge that each human mind paints and processes the taste of pain and this world uniquely and we cannot assemble any generalization when it comes to a human brain and heart. It failed me to know that they think that suicide is selfish and an attention seeking stunt; I was appalled by the audacity with which my peers so conveniently declared that suicide is usually an accident and a person never intends to take away their life but it is just a cry for help. It may be true in some cases but like I said before, we should refrain from making generalizations about such a serious issue and acknowledge that each human brain may have gone through ultimately a lot to even consider it to be a cry for help. 

It is my humble request to play your part in embracing and spreading this message that mental health is as important, if not more, as your physical health. I have worked with groups promoting mental health awareness and believe you me when I say that we all have heard and read sufficient life stories to gather something as simple as this: life is often unpredictable and pain seldom times unbearable. At the end of the day, we are only human. 

Image Source: All Rights Reserved With: https://www.globalunison.wordpress.com

Happy International Women’s Day 2015!

Google honors the women – Happy International Women’s Day 2015!

I don’t usually celebrate the international women’s day because there should never be only one day to celebrate women of the world. I am a woman and I know what it means to be a woman. It means that ‘everybody expects a lot from me’. I am not joking; 21^st century presents women like they have never been presented before. They are the bread-earners, the house-makers, the child-bearers and basically they are running this world but how this world treats them is awfully saddening. I come from an eastern background where people have the mind-set of a typical male-dominant society. Of course, there is a difference between educated and uneducated people (just to not offend anybody, there is a difference between socially aware and socially unaware people). The problem is that the difference seems to be increasing with a fast pace just like how the difference between rich and poor is increasing in these third world countries. By having a color television set in your house, you are not completely aware of the difference between right and wrong. Media is a powerful weapon in today’s world but they don’t know how to execute themselves in the right manner. They think that by reporting people about ‘everything’, they are doing their job. The problem with the media is that they don’t seem to have a neutral tone. They are biased which gives them the upper-hand to make people believe what they want them to believe. Apparently, media is only teaching the people to criticize everything and take no responsibility on their own shoulders (You can only preach what you practice – Story of Media’s life). For example: people complain that the city is not clean; instead of taking the first step towards a greener and cleaner city by not making roads and streets your personal trash bin, these people will blame the government in every possible way. Hypocrisy at its best!

Going back to the women’s day, I want to share a small story. Our house-maid back in my country is a mother of five children. Her husband earns half or less the amount she makes by cleaning houses. Sometimes she complains about being the victim of domestic violence even when her income is mainly running their house. Her husband does a day-to-day basis job which means that if he gets to work on the site, he gets the wage and if not then he doesn’t get anything. The woman instead earns a monthly income. As a mother, she is always worried about her children. As a wife, she is always worried about the work of her husband. As a woman, she is always worried about if she is making enough sacrifices to make things better for her family. Despite of her being the stronger pillar of their house, her man gets the upper hand. Bull-crap. My point is that I am not a feminist (because somehow I feel like feminism is more about degrading men than fighting for equality – no offence) but I believe in gender equality. Mostly, I believe in giving women the honour and respect they deserve. I believe that today’s woman is neither superior nor inferior to men in any way. I believe that men and women are all the same.

I want to address an issue that has been bothering me for a while now. Rape, it is! Rape has become a huge problem of the society. The disclaimer is that I am not going to only talk about ‘India’ while discussing rape. However, starting from India, BBC has published a documentary where they have interviewed one of the six rapists of a very viral Delhi-Bus-rape-case only to hear the criminal saying that ‘a girl is far more responsible for rape than a man’ because by being out of the house at 9 in the night, they are “presenting” themselves for rape. The man also said that ‘When being raped, she shouldn’t fight back. She should be silent and allow the rape’. This man’s death sentence is on appeal but after this interview where he showed no remorse instead blamed the victim, I don’t know what the courts of India are waiting for? Hang him up already (Nobody gets to tell me that he have human rights because I believe if he didn’t respect another person’s human rights, his human rights are void). If he is alive and have the courage to give such an interview, it encourages all the other people of his mentality to do whatever they want because they kind of know that they can get away with anything — just blame it all on the victim (The views of the educated class like the lawyer that defended this rapist will further surprise you if you read the article). Justice will always be served steaming hot! 

Ruling India out of the equation, recently an eighteen year old girl was raped in Leeds while waiting for her bus in the city center (Women raped waiting for bus was ‘attempted murder’). The police said that at the time of the rape (which was around 11 p.m.); the location where it happened seemed to be busy. Hence, they are asking for witnesses to come forward. I mean, who in the world don’t raise a voice when they see such an outrageous act in public. The girl suffered head and hip injuries and was left to die. What in the name of God is happening on Earth?

I understand the problem of India: it’s education. A 50-year-old man was raping an unconscious injured cow (yes, the same cow he has been taught to worship) using coconut oil as a lubricant (Man has Sex with Injured Cow Using Coconut Oil as Lubricant). The problem with East is that barbarism and illiteracy still prevails (because of rural areas, mainly). Also, what I was taking about earlier fits in here very well: social awareness. People are not aware of their rights and duties. People are blindly following the society; they don’t believe in analyzing and looking into the situation themselves. They don’t want to be the odd one out to try to fix the wrong. They don’t want to try to change themselves. They don’t want to lead the change to be a role-model for the society. They fail to realize that anybody can be a trend-follower but it takes a lot to become a trend-setter.  However, what is the problem of England? It’s a developed country. It’s a country where we will expect people to be socially aware of their rights and duties then how come nobody stopped that man from brutally raping a young girl? Something is wrong with us (humans) then. I feel like somehow the more this issue is reported by the media all across the world, the more it is being encouraged than being discouraged. Otherwise, why are the reports of rape only seem to increase?

This year, on this international women’s day, I only want to tell everybody that the woman who only knows to give; she should be the recipient of your honor, love, respect, care and admiration. I am not saying that women are the embodiment of absolute perfection instead as a woman; I am telling all the conservative/modern people out there that a man and a woman in today’s world are no different. Raise your voice for gender equality; raise your voice for the women rights. I wonder why we use a ‘He’ for God when ‘His’ love and compassion is usually compared to mothers. Why do we not respect women when it is said that Heaven lies under the feet of your mother? Why are women fighting for equality when Nature itself has already regarded her far more superior? I am proud to be a woman.

I thank mama and moi for being such an inspiration to help me be a better woman. I wish I had words to express my gratitude to these two beautiful women but for now ‘I love them both very much’ will work.

There is an old poetry I would like to share in this post:

When your eyes open for the first time;
The hands of a woman wrap you in Thyme.

When your heart beats to make a sound,
The ears of a woman are on your chest to be found.

When your lips play with a radiant smile,
Take a glimpse of the parched lips of a woman for a while.

When your tear-filled eyes spill a drop,
This woman upholds your pain to stop.

When your comrades forget to play,
This woman clasps you in her arms and sway.

When oodles of your work is undone,
This woman stays by you until the rising sun.

When your life shuffles happiness to invite sorrow,
This woman representing purity desires to borrow.

When you are lonesome and forlorn,
There is a blissful woman with you to mourn.

This woman is your mother, sister, daughter or wife,
The existent support and comfort throughout your life.

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Article Links & Photo Sources:
Delhi Bus Rapist Blame his Victim in Prison Interview
Woman Raped Waiting For Bus was ‘Attempted Murder’
India: Man has Sex with Injured Cow using Coconut Oil as Lubricant

First Picture: https://www.google.co.uk
Second & Third Picture: https://www.globalunison.wordpress.com

A Call For Action

This can not be my abode,
Life does not have a hibernate mode,
Suddenly killing people can not be right,
Can black ever be transformed to white?

The color of innocent blood stains my soul,
Every inculpable death calls out for a just role,
Is it that the peace is unwanted?
Is it that we pretend to be united?

We tweet and post statuses; we shout and protest in rage,
We sympathise and compromise; we pretend we understand this Age,
Praying to Almighty to show a miracle at this stage,
Hoping for the goodness to free itself from this evil cage.

When nothing seems to be working, we pray day and night,
Muslims, Hindus, Jews and Christians – they pray to Allah, Krishna, Moses and Jesus,
The concept of God is different but the call is one,
These religions are distinct yet peace is what they yearn.

Don’t let a man’s religion define him for you,
This world needs us and we need to be true,
No religion preaches terrorism, murder and criminality,
Let’s stop this innocent blood shed – the result of forceful brutality.

For making this world a better place, we don’t need to go to Gaza or Syria,
We don’t need prompt updates on this manipulative social media,
Disconnect yourself and stop talking – it’s time for actions to speak louder than words,
Little deeds of goodness can broaden our horizon – challenging the spirit of a free bird.

Brace yourself for it’s you who can begin this journey of good,
Embrace yourself for it’s you who can bring the change you should,
Stop fooling yourself and stop praying for miracles,
Your actions are your warriors, miracles would happen merely when your warriors would.

Be Inspired (Today And Everyday)

Evening People,

In this busy schedule, I am not likely to end up with a lot of time for myself or my hobbies but I try to keep pace with everything along the way. So for today, a little update from ‘Global-Unison’ or ‘Naima’ – any way you know me. 

I came across this video around a week ago and I am extremely inspired with this man’s words (Darryl Anka, a channel for an extra-terrestrial, Bashar) so I decided to share it here.

We need to remind ourselves everyday that we deserve happiness and every right to exist in this world because we are an essential part of this world. Think of this world as a jigsaw puzzle and yourself as one of the pieces of that puzzle then without you, the puzzle would not complete. Pamper yourself and let yourself be loved. Be capable of giving and receiving love, be capable of being you. I hope you all find these words inspiring too and this reminds you of how precious every second of our life is. 

Life is short, love living it and let all the odds be in your favor! 

Settling into UK!

Hey ya fellas! I apologize sincerely for vanishing for a week or so but I had to or rather I put it like this that I was too much messed up in the emotional trauma that I was going through that it made it difficult for me to inform my lovely family here! I have read too many posts on Renard’s blog expressing his miserable feelings for the bloggers who vanish without explaining the cause and though I have had a sincere readership around yet I failed to inform you all and that is why I feel awful so apologies, apologies and apologies! And I hope its granted now!

My books – Business, Mathematics, English (Three subjects for this term which ends on December 7th 2012)

Now the question is where have I been? Interesting question! I am no more in my country but in England for my studies i.e my undergraduate program! The previous week was crucial! I covered 6 chapters of Business Studies and 5 chapters of Mathematics and submitted the project of Business on Friday and wrote the maths test on Thursday (which was nearly perfect!) Apart from studies which are smooth enough now after a rushing week because I arrived two weeks later than the starting date (Another story why I was late – briefly, I turned 18 in August and it took longer for my identity card to get to me and as soon as I got through it, I filed my visa and fortunately I received my visa in 5 working days!)

Clouds forming before it starts to rain or rather drizzle! I love the smoky skies in here – this place is romantic! (lol)

Settling into UK – not a problem at all! Lovely people out there in almost freezing weather and yeah romance pouring my heart with the rain tickling my face! According to me, it never rains in here instead it drizzles! I like the feeling of walking on the lonely and empty streets aimlessly trying to figure out where I have to go. I love getting lost and then finding my way back again and the sweetheart babies you see all around you; almost perfect but I miss my family terribly! The most difficult part is when you sit all alone by yourself trying to eat but you can’t cause you miss your family’s dinning table, your parent’s arguments and siblings chit chat and funny pranks! I have to cry to myself because if I will be weak, my mum will certainly be not better! My room is okay – thankfully it is my room only so I do not have to share it with anybody even being on university’s accommodation!

I carried it all the way from Morrisons to my room – those 15 minutes were hell!

Plenty of stories in my head and I want to let all of them out! My flight was 7 hours delayed and I got to know it on Dubai International Airport when some Italian guy (whose English accent was a terrible pain for my ears) told me how they do not have enough passengers to fly to Birmingham! I simply never knew how Emirates could ditch me like this but those 7 hours were an incredible experience. The sense of responsibility that ensured me how I had grown up and can do everything independently now. Those 7 hours when I had to look after my money, my luggage, keep contact with my parents, resisting the sleep when I was up for more than 24 hours and what not. Dubai Internstional Airport was my first examination and with His cooperation, I succeeded it like a victorious warrior! I reached my accommodation at 11:00 pm on October 12th and the very next day I realized I had to do my grocery all on my own (which I had never done before) and I had to walk like crazies! Yeah, I missed my driver and at times my car as well but with time walking was a pleasure instead I discovered how I can observe many things minutely when I walk and see the world without technology!  I have been to city center twice and I kinda bought many things though I am not a shopaholic at all but I guess that was the need cause UK is kinda freezing and will continue to freeze more and more with every passing day! Primark, H&M, Topshop, Zara’s, Integration,  Evans – you name it and I am sure I have been there! I am still discovering good restaurants though right now Subway and my own cooking skills had help me enough!

World Of Coins!

The very big change for me was MONEY! Amazing! It took me almost a week to learn about currency, coins, pence and I am still on my way to learn more about them! We had maids back in home to do everything, from ironing clothes to polishing shoes and almost everything. Now, I wake up 2 hours before I have to leave so I can iron my clothes and look about my shoes and then leave almost 40 minutes before because it is a 20 to 25 minutes walk to my school from my accommodation and I leave the margin of 20 minutes in case of any accident (God Forbid) I never imagined how time would play with me and change me within a week! I thought I was careless (clutz) and may be I still am but I don’t see it. The very big problem for me is to look about my keys and wallet; back in my home country I never had a wallet! All I ever did was slip few bucks in my jeans but wallet – NO!

Talking about Leicester, it is not a busy city like London but it is still busy enough. Traffic can prove you and when you see Audi and Mercedes cars out there, you are like Woahh!! (Just Kidding) It is like a Mini China in here cause you will find so many Chinese people! Okay, they are Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Nepalese but all of them look almost same so you can never ever tell who they are! Now what I am fed up of is every other person asking me if I am from AMERICA! I am not boasting about myself but hundreds of men and women have asked me if I am from America because they say my accent is American and when I tell them from Pakistan, I see their eyes bulging out as if I have said that I am the president of US. Excuse me, get a life – my school’s principal will kill me if she gets to know how I am receiving such a comment because we are taught British English then HOW THE EFFING HELL I POSSIBLY CAN SOUND LIKE AN AMERICAN? Does that even make sense? The very first person to tell me was a guy on the plane, then the immigration lady(until she saw my passport), then this surgeon I met in the grocery store, then almost every receptionist on the university information desk, the receptionist guy on the accommodation information desk, cashiers in the shopping malls and I am tired of giving them that look to not repeat it! You know how is it like? Let me demonstrate, consider I am talking to a lady who is the saleswoman of H&M;

Naima: Excuse me, Can I see this?

Saleswoman: Yeah sure!

Naima: Thank you (Smiling) – But I don’t want heels you see.

Saleswoman: Oh! Are you from America? You have an American Accent!

Naima: (A crucial look and then a smile and says with grinding teeth) Everybody says so though I don’t know why!

Pasta – Cooked on Friday, 19th October 2012!

Chicken and Capsicums – Cooked on Saturday, 20th October 2012!

Chicken and Vegetable fried Rice – Cooked on Sunday, 21st October 2012!

I know at times it is a LOLing situation for me but I have to bear with it. I don’t mind being the way I am so back out! Another worse thing in here is that it is autumn and I hate to walk on the fallen leaves! I mean, why did they ever taught us that leaves are living beings because now I feel miserable when I see plenty of them lying on the floor and I have to walk over them! I feel guilty at times and curse my science teachers for being so mean back then when I was 9 or 10. I started cooking like 3 days back that means from this weekend cause I had to buy my cooking pans and everything and I think I am doing pretty well if I eliminate comparing it with my mommy’s food! Of course, she is a professional! I see old couples being too romantic – holding hands and linking arms and I go back in my memory to recall when did my parents or even grand parents did it last time in front of me! I adore the people here, their innocence and the love they share through their smiles! (Believe me or not, I am almost smiling to everybody on my way; exclude the young guys please cause they will take a different meaning out of it)

Cooking and eating – a good time pass; need no friends! (lol)

Briefly, I enjoy in here. It is an adventure ride. Lazy mornings in my bright room with a chilly wind that knocks me down and I stretch my arms thinking if I can see some other faces than Chinese (Just kidding – no hard feelings please but the fact is there are too many Chinese out here and I appreciate their love for education) As expected, no friends yet but I think with time, I will be okay. I talk to a Singaporean girl in my class *Ann* who has a boy friend so she is too busy with him all the time but she is a great girl to talk to and I have been lately talking to this Canadian guy *Marcus* who has explained me the maths and business problems that I have not understood after reading on my own! He had been a great helping hand but again it is just a hello-hey with them; they are not yet friends! I am too bad at it, I know but I hope to do good!

PS– I know I have missed out whole a lot on reading the blogs I follow but I will try to manage it out whenever possible! Thank you for the support and cooperation as always! It is greatly appreciated! Stay blessed!

Babies Ain’t a piece of cake (Tribute to MOTHERS)

In bed, trying to smile to the camera while my cup of coffee is all empty!!

What happens when all day you have been working like an ass and at the end of the day when you want to have a nap, the sleep doesn’t come by easily?? At times, I am dozing off unnecessarily but right now when I really need to sleep as I have to get up early in the morning cause my baby cousins will be at my place – I just can’t help myself but crave for some caffeine! My system has been programmed to malfunction at extreme times I guess, whenever I am exhausted and exceptionally fatigued I can not rest instead I am more restless and hyper-active at such moments which results in the dark-creepy-swollen eyes!

The three sisters together after breakfast!!
From Left to Right: Soha(oldest), Izma(Youngest), Nabah(Middle one)

Nabah and Izma jumping on the bed during breakfast and I am sure you can’t hear me requesting them to sit down in the photo!!

The day was busy and tiring today; my mommy and aunt were out for shopping and my aunt had an appointment with a orthopedist as well due to some recent back and leg cramps occurring occasionally since a while ago. My mom and aunt left me with the kids at 10 in the morning when they were sleeping peacefully in their bed. After an hour or so they woke up and I knew my parade had begun. I managed to fry eggs and toast few slices of bread along with boiling milk on the stove while consoling the youngest that her mother is in the washroom(Lying with kids can be dangerous and I discourage that – my experience had taught me enough today). I prepared their breakfast as fast as I could and dashed into the room to find the other two playing some Barbie games on my brand new iPad. Firstly I couldn’t digest how they turned it on when I have never used it in front of them but then I flushed that thought at the back of my head knowing that they were not some normal kids but the super-techno kids of 21^st century. I was not worried about my iPad for that time but I was worried about their empty tummies. I fed them with my own hands from the oldest to youngest cause the 7 years old feels that I discriminate on the basis of love with them due to their ages (though it has never been my intention) so I couldn’t do anything but feed the three of them myself. Then I managed to get their attention off the iPad as I had to bathe them. I bathed them, had them brush their teeth and then brushed their long curly hair – goodness; it was another examination brushing their long curly hair and making a tight looking braid once they were dry!

Nabah running to me for going to the bathroom after I have resolved the fight between them for that goddamned remote!!

At 2 in the afternoon my siblings were at home from their school and serving them with the lunch along with the three little kids wasn’t an easy task. I served them with sandwiches and fried some nuggets and crockets which were enjoyed by my siblings as well as my baby cousins. Sideways, I told my siblings to take an afternoon nap so they can get up fresh in the evening and continue with their homework and etc. Fortunately, they obeyed me without any argument (which is a rare case) and I engaged myself with the babies because I had to cook some oat meal porridge for them as per their mother’s instructions. While the oatmeal was preparing, I gave them some books to read but they showed least interest and then reluctantly I had to play the DVD of “The Little Mermaid” for them so that they could sit quietly. As I went in my room to relax myself for a bit and lay down in bed for a while, I heard the youngest (Izma) crying and her voice pierced through my ears and I got up running all the way to the hall so that I could see for my eyes what had happened that have had her screaming along with sobbing loudly. When I reached the hall, I saw them pulling each other’s hair and smashing each other with whatever comes their way to hand like a weapon. I got in between and was severely thrashed with hair pulling and scratches of their trimmed nails and what not but ultimately I got them over the fight which had accidentally started over who would keep the remote in their hand and just then the porridge was ready too as I could smell the aroma so well. I learnt a lesson on my way: Never ever think of “RESTING” leaving the kids alone; they would screw you even before you start regretting.

After giving me hell of the 15 minutes of my life; she still smiled!!

Nabah desired to capture a shot cause she wanted to use my camera!!
Look at my posy baby(Soha) – giving me a hard laugh as I go through the pictures!

Anyway, the oldest (Soha) ate the porridge without any chaos. The youngest(Izma) did make some noise but when I engaged her attention with some teddy bears and dolls around me, she was convinced and ate her meal without any mess but the one in between these two sisters; the one older than Izma but younger than Soha made me experience hell within the 15 minutes while I forced spoonful of porridge in her mouth which would come streaming out and I would make her eat the same thing again (I really felt like puking but I had to do it) because if I would have thought of sparing her of that oatmeal, her mommy would have never spared me for life punishing me for keeping her baby hungry! After all when she was done with her porridge, I felt like a winner – so proud of myself and smiling to each one of them for their cooperation and teaching me the worth of the mothers across the world.

My pretty mommy with Umair (my brother)!

This one day baby sitting taught me a lot. When my mom came back, I hugged her like a 4-year-old baby would tug into her mom seeing her after a long time. The three babies were even happier to see their mom. I realized how mothers work like a robot machines, looking after kids, serving their husbands, looking after the household and what not. Their day starts with the sun (or even before that) and their day would end late after everyone is snoring and fast asleep. I am tear-eyed thinking of what my mommy has gone through for me and my family and that whatever I do, it can never repay for the sleepless nights she had stayed up when I was a baby and my days were nights and nights a lively morning, I can never pay off for the time she has spent in my upbringing teaching me the difference between good and bad, I can never compensate for her love and care she has awarded me with throughout and I wonder if I would ever be able to pay her off for being my backbone through the thick and thin which has given me the confidence to stand upright with dignity in the shoes which fit me now. This is not the story of my *MOTHER* specifically but all the mothers across the globe. They say, Heaven is under the feet of mothers and I can not agree more because Almighty created mothers as His representative on the phase of this planet. That’s why He had poured all the love and care in the mother that He would have liked to give to His creations in the embodiment of a mother. One day baby-sitting taught me much, I have been babysitting my baby cousins for a while now since they are here from Dubai but an entire day with the babies where I have no one to depend on was an outstanding lesson. While I sit in my bed sipping caffeine, I mumble “I LOVE YOU, MAMA” and you my friends out there have to give your mothers a call – a phone call probably and those who unfortunately can’t give a phone call, give her an honor for the memory call! I can not help but salute all the mothers out there who have the stamina to overlook their baby’s mistakes because it is only them who possesses heart as vast and immense as the sea – the true beauties and saviors of the world!

Suicide is never an ANSWER!

“But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”

I read the very same line few days back and I felt like a winner despite of all the failures that have miserably been destroying me within and I felt proud of myself – really very proud for being steadfast and dedicated to the goals of my life. The question that rises over here is that if failure really is a misery that can compel you to invite a death call and split the threads of your breath? Who is not a FAILURE in this life – failure is an understatement; we all are WARRIORS! We struggle to achieve and if there are huddles to accomplish on the way to our destination then they are the trademark for earning experience – the only human on the planet who have no experience (in terms of life) is a new-born baby and as soon as he breathes in this world, he is open to the wide valley of experiences. From feeding to playing, from smiling to crying, from sensing to loving, from crawling to walking; all is a new experience for him. When he is learning to walk or sit, he does fall short a million times and he does cry often but all these efforts are worth it when he finally succeeds to sit or walk without an external support – that one smile of joy is worth the plenty tears he had cried throughout the miserable process of learning and that pain is worth the skill he has learned over the course of time. Unfortunately, as a baby grow physically with utmost optimism and a firm belief in trying; his mental capability grows with the blend of influences from the social circle and other things that encompasses the society where he grows up. When this baby starts kindergarten, he cries because he fears the new atmosphere and isolation from his mother punches him in his gut. When the same boy grows up to join school, he fears to make new friends and the competition to cope up with studies. With the time, many ups and downs are welcomed by life. Some are bearable and some are beyond one’s endurance capability, hence in any way human survives because they possess the brains to reframe themselves after being completely destroyed and devastated. Some are real warriors and endure pain and suffering coming their way with the determination, steadfastness and a hope to see the bright day but some lose hope and make a heartbreaking decision of “SUCIDE” – it pierced and slashed my soul while typing this word but encountering and accepting the reality is primarily imperative in order to eliminate it.

Suicide is one crucial reality of this bitter-sweet world. I am well aware of how life can be intimidating and discouraging but is “SUICIDE” a moral decision? Of course NOT! The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds. This is what’s happening around us and I know that it would keep increasing as it has been reported by WHO that since the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Suicide is now among the three leading causes of death among those aged from 15 to 44 years (male and female). I have known a guy who tried to attempt suicide around three years back but his attempt failed . I met him the day before yesterday in a cocktail party and I observed a different guy talking to me. He sounded happy and ebullient and he was talking about how he would be marrying in the upcoming months. By looking at him, I wondered if he really remembered the night his mum was crying on my mum’s shoulder and I was peeking inside the operation theater where his body was being operated to work out with poison if possible. I thought back to myself silently if he remembered how long that night would have been for his mother who had turned into a widow just a month ago. I questioned myself whether he recalls his attempt and thank Almighty for giving him another chance to live the blessing he was bestowed upon with. The smile that illuminated his face and the reflection of bliss and pride in his character was evident that I can tell very easily what his answer would be if I ask him whether the decision he made three years back about ending his life was a sane decision or not. His answer would absolutely be “NO” when he had been a victim himself of the unending toil but his contentment today is a positive weapon to encounter everything with confidence and optimism.

The WHO states that mental health disorders (particularly depression and substance abuse) are associated with more than 90% of all cases of suicide. However, suicide results from many complex sociocultural factors and is more likely to occur during periods of socio-economic, family and individual crisis (e.g. loss of a loved one, unemployment, sexual orientation, difficulties with developing one’s identity, dissociation from one’s community or other social/belief group, and honor). The suicide rate astounded me when I read the WHO report further stating that 55% suicide attempts are made by adolescents to adults aged between 15 to 44 years and 45% suicide attempts are made by people aged 45 years and over. The crucially disheartening fact is that suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people aged between 15 to 24 years at which WHO states that “Youth Suicide is increasing at the greatest rate.”

Most people who commit suicide don’t want to die—they just want to stop hurting. Suicide is an attempt to escape suffering that has become unbearable. Blinded by feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness and isolation, a suicidal person can’t see any way of finding relief except through death – the only way they think they can attain peace. However despite their desire for the pain to stop, most suicidal people are deeply conflicted about ending their own lives. They wish to find an alternative to committing suicide but they just can’t see one. If a friend or family member is considering suicide, you might be afraid to bring up the subject but talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life. Hence, we have to aware ourselves to help people around us. One death in every 40 seconds is not a joke – we are a responsible “HUMAN” living on the planet (say NO to geographic divisions – we all are one and this world is our abode) Hence we can always endeavor on our part to stop this exercise and educate the people around us regarding “LIFE” who may in your opinion can later be the target of this lethal exercise. Therefore, I believe that we all have been through pain and suffering, our heart must have been attacked and invaded at times and our soul must have wished for an end once in a while but that doesn’t allow us to put a full-stop ourselves. Wait for the natural full-stop; at least that doesn’t announce you a “LOSER”. None of us desire an undignified end and even most of the suicidal people do not desire “DEATH” or “DARK-END”; instead they desire for the pain to stop. Make an aim to stay happy and make others happy. Reward the people around you with a smile and a compliment to make their day – your smile can be a healing therapy for a traumatized heart which can result in saving one life for every 40 seconds.

Your family is your first Ministry!

August 12^th 1996 – a two-year old little girl surely did not know the significance of this date at such a young age yet she celebrated it every year (and will continue to) since the day she knew what birthdays were and whose birth date made this date special. Well, if you guys (I mean both gals and fellas) are thinking to apply brakes to the present and dive into the history books or lectures you must have received in past from your history teachers then take a deep breath – I am not talking about anything such as that yet I will astound you with how every date is special within itself.

Umair’s (my brother’s) sweet sixteenth!!

Except of some breathtaking facts like the only silent film “Wings” won an Oscar for best picture in 1927 on the very same date of August 12th, Soviet Union conducted a secret test of its 1st hydrogen bomb in 1953 on the same date, William Shatner was married to Gloria Rand on August 12th 1956 (yeah, its lame but spare me without smacking me down), the very first time two people were in space in 1962 on August 12th, China & Japan signed a peace treaty in 1978, the very first IBM Personal Computer was released on the very same date (12^th August) in 1981 and in 1996 I was blessed with a new-born baby – of course I can’t be a mother at the age of two but a baby brother was warmly welcomed!! Two years younger than me – not even exactly two; just a one day less than 2 because he is 12^th August and me 13^th! Celebrating birthday together is utmost fun but this time it was something special – it was his “SWEET SIXTEENTH”! This post is going to be informal so anyone who wishes to kick me or punch me in my gut ; all of you are warmly welcome to email me but the emotional and exhilarating episode yet have to gear up!

Left to Right : Me, Umair (the birthday boy) and Atif (my other brother)
Love them to the core!

Well, it was his sweet sixteenth and my eighteenth so August 2012 was much awaited since New Year (or may be even before)! His birthday was a blast! I surprised him at the midnight with some balloons and a cake and party crackers so I can just blew him off his seat and make him wonder at how super awesome his siblings are! I am sure he felt it but he didn’t feel comfortable to express his happiness and there was a reason behind that too. His O levels result was expected on August 13^th (my birthday) so he was all anxious about the upcoming result and least concerned to take part in the celebrations of his birthday blast. At times, I asked him to smile and be confident about how his hard work and struggle would be paid back but all I received was a “GRIN” or may be some words under his breath (can be curse words too for releasing down the pressure in the most abnormal way) or it was an outburst like “SHUT UP” or “DUHH” – anyway whatever it was; it made me go all crazy to tease him more and more! He slept around 3 in the morning (mum and dad were certainly snoring in their bed by that time) and before that he was praying for himself like geeks! I even teased him that if he would have put this much effort before exams in his studies then he would have not been this worried – he hated me for pulling his leg from time to time but isn’t it all we call “THE SIBLING’S LOVE”! I even offered him a drive though I did not have my driving license as there was still a day to go to be 18 but he refused and I think he missed out the fun we would have had wandering from street to street playing with the peace of night. After all, he slept at 3 am and I was all curious to make the day special for him. I made a card for him and packed him a digital camera and a perfume (Eternity for MEN) that I had bought for him earlier – I hoped he would love it. I then slept around 6 in the morning and woke up before him to make some coffee muffins he loves. Few hours later, when he was smiling and laughing I was contented. It is always a different feeling to see your young boy smiling and laughing; a feeling of contentment and delight embraces the soul when you succeed to paint a smile across his face – when they smile, the efforts are worth it. I was on cloud nine as I have had succeeded to make him forget the anxiety of his upcoming result. He loved the presents whole-heartedly (greatly expected, who wouldn’t have had? – I was saving for an eternity to buy him those things). After all, the day ended and I captured his smiles in my head as I knew I would be away from them very soon (my university starting and I have to move to Leicester, England). There was no surprise for me at midnight but million calls and my parent’s and sibling’s hugs and wishes made it special in itself – I cherished each and every moment as I wondered if I would be here to celebrate my next birthday; all I did the entire time was resisted myself to not spill a tear because I didn’t want my mommy to get upset or overwhelming at this particular day!

I love my mum!!
PS– This is an old picture around a year and a half ago!

Don’t forget, when I write there is always a message concealed and this time there is one too. Family is family and there is no alternative for family – neither your boy-friend/girl-friend nor your friends because your parents are a treasure in disguise. You may not realize their worth in their life time but once they abandon you then the thousand wishes in the wish-well can’t bring them back so love them now for who they are and thank them for supporting you throughout without any selfish means. Your siblings are your very best friends; they make the world around you beautiful and amusing – the fun and enjoyment you have with them is an exciting priceless adventure that in no way can be compared to anything in this universe. They understand you and defend you even when you are wrong; take your blames on their own shoulders even at the age of six; argue with parents and the world around to prove you right – their presence is a blessing for which you should be grateful everyday.  I read it somewhere and it fascinated me a lot and so I will share it with you.

BOY-FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

GIRL-FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

FAMILY = Look at the last three words – ILY – I LOVE YOU.

Amazing, isn’t it? I love my family and their presence is a blessing for me for which I am thankful to Almighty and will be throughout my life! I pray for their protection from evil and health and happiness. Amen. Do not forget to pray for your family everyday; they should be your very first priority so if you are done reading it and haven’t talked to your parents or siblings (even daughters or sons for the matter) since a while then call them up and let them know that they will always be cherished. This world is not a place for hatred instead it should be the aroma of love spreading far and wide; hence forget the old wounds and take an initiative to cradle your relationships and knot a new thread if you have not been in contact with your family and if my words aren’t convincing then remember your childhood days – I am sure you will be rushing to grab the phone then!

What you don’t know can KILL you!

“Guys, lets party and smoke water pipe (Hookah/Shisha) all night long”, I have heard this millions of times from my friends and every time I hear it, I am bombarding them with the lectures regarding how water pipe tobacco smoking can damage their organic machinery resulting in various health issues. Before I proceed with the “Water-Pipe Smoking Trend” in the society, let’s talk about what smoking is.

You may be the one welcoming your TRAGIC END yourself!

Smoking is a practice in which a substance, most commonly tobacco or cannabis, is burned and the smoke is tasted or inhaled. The combustion releases the active substances in drugs such as nicotine and makes them available for absorption through the lungs. The most common method of smoking today is through cigarettes, primarily industrially manufactured but also hand-rolled from loose tobacco and rolling paper. Other smoking implements include pipes, cigars, hookahs, vaporizers and bongs. The water pipe smoking is ensuring the progress in health problems occupying the society with the fast-paced time. Our youth is naïve, they would be attracted and lured by everything that comes their way with charm, trend, addiction and especially they would do anything to look “COOL” – this “COOL” primarily is the major route to our youth’s devastation. A very important issue that should be regarded here along with SMOKING is the problem of “IMITATION” in youth – the blind following of the customs and traditions of the modern society in no way guarantees the prosperity and development. One needs to think and ponder over the actions before making an attempt. This blessing referred as the “capability to THINK” makes us the best on the planet but if we don’t utilize the given blessing then we are unquestionably violating the system and choice of Nature.

We all are very well-aware of how water pipe tobacco smoking can be more dangerous and harmful than smoking cigarettes and if that was never highlighted to you before, then here you go with the CAPS: WATER PIPE TOBACCO SMOKING CAN BE POSSIBLY MORE DANGEROUS THAN SMOKING CIGARETTES. This in no way indicates that I encourage smoking cigarettes but those “WANNA-BEES” who think that flavored tobacco is incredibly intoxicating and harmless then it is time for the high alert because their assumptions need to be upgraded to the ground reality.

 A water pipe consists of a smoke chamber, a bowl, a pipe and a hose. Specially made tobacco is heated, and the smoke passes through water and is then drawn through a rubber hose to a mouthpiece. The tobacco is no less toxic in the water pipe, and the water in the hookah does not filter out the toxic ingredients in the tobacco smoke. Water pipe tobacco smokers may actually inhale more tobacco smoke than cigarette smokers do because of the large volume of smoke they inhale in one smoking session, which can last as long as 60 minutes.

While research about water pipe smoking is still emerging, evidence shows that it poses many dangers:

1)       Water Pipe Tobacco smoke contains high levels of toxic compounds, including tar, carbon monoxide, heavy metals and cancer-causing chemicals (carcinogens). In fact, water pipe smokers are exposed to more carbon monoxide and smoke than are cigarette smokers.

2)       As with cigarette smoking, water pipe tobacco smoking is linked to lung and oral cancers, heart disease, and other serious illnesses.

3)       Water pipe tobacco smoking delivers about the same amount of nicotine as cigarette smoking, possibly leading to tobacco dependence.

4)       Water pipe smoke poses dangers associated with secondhand smoke.

5)       Water pipe smoking by pregnant women can result in low birth weight babies.

6)       Water pipes used in bars and cafes may not be cleaned properly, risking the spread of infectious diseases.

Say “NO” to TOBACCO!

Do you know that a typical water pipe session can last up to an hour; a person can inhale as much smoke in one water pipe smoking session as is contained in 100 to 200 cigarettes. This is an alarm for the wake-up call; everything necessarily doesn’t turn out to be as pleasant as its impression throughout. Many find water pipe tobacco more appealing than cigarettes because of its sweet flavors but the sweet flavored tobacco in no means is a safe alternative to cigarettes as a WHO report revealed that a person smoking a water pipe takes in deeper and longer puffs of smoke than a person smoking a cigarette. Another misconception regarding water pipe is how water in the pipe is capable of filtering the toxic chemicals in the hookah instead  the WHO report stated that the charcoal burnt in hookah smoking contains additional dangerous substances, like carbon monoxide and various metals, that are not filtered out by the water in the pipe. In simple words, what you don’t know can kill you regardless of the sophistication of the modern world where information travels at the lightning pace.

 Download/View the following PDF file to look up for the report prepared by WHO regarding Water Pipe Tobacco Smoking.

 WHO Study Group On Tobacco Product Regulation

Relationship Trauma!

NOTE: Thank you so much for keeping a track to my site even when I was not posting, the stats are evident. Thank you for the shower of those beautiful mails who wanted to inquire about my NO-POSTING season, your care and love for me moved me to the core and that is how I planned on updating the blog today in spite of the busy schedule – your over-whelming love can break the barriers of the cold working schedule. I am blessed to have a bunch of sincere readers who seek my work and look up to me. Thank you once again for all the mails, they are worth million gems and I will surely be getting back to each one of them. I hope that my readers can compromise on my delayed posting though I will try to post at least once a day and if not possible then at least once in three days. The posting may be affected but I ensure that the reading hours won’t be reduced – all the blogs I follow will be read and fed with likes and comments where necessary. Thank you for the cooperation.

 

It has been three years, two months, twenty-seven days, seven hours, five minutes and thirty-seven seconds (to the date) when I met him for the first time. I was always pretty precise about our timings as it was always a treat to make him feel special with such remarkable moves that helped me look at him gaping with surprise at how perfect I was at times especially when it was concerned with him. I never intended to sound over-efficient or behave over-smartly but my target was to feed him with pleasure and happiness all at once. The stories of his past haunted him every now and then and I believed that it was my responsibility to ensure him that he was cherished and his present was much better than what he had expected of his future in the past. My efforts always wanted to pursue the desires of his heart so that he could feel the warmth and passion of love burning within me for him – his appearance may not be the factor for why was I attracted towards him but certainly his soul was primarily a key reason for my helpless condition. Despite of all my efforts, I believe I lack immensely from time to time. This feeling first bothered me when I realized that his way of expression and the incredible charm was fading – it was not my sight which has to be blamed but he really was changing. I did not have the nerve to ask him if he was not interested in continuing what we had between us – a blend of friendship that was transforming into love on my part and I was unaware of how his heart would respond to my feelings. The change in attitude is always evident and with time I saw his attitude rusting. I feared to let go of him – how would I ever feel if he would someday introduce me to the love of his life unaware of how my heart raced for him incredibly. How could he ever deny that when he called me beautiful, I blushed because there is really something happening deep down within me when he praises me. How could he not know that when we linked arms and walked together at the Christmas party of the school for the first time, I felt like a fairy-tale princess and I wanted to pause the life at that very moment to glance at him for eternity. Was he really unaware of my feelings unless I expressed myself in those three letter essential yet worthless words? How could I ever forget that moment when he said: “Darling, I was waiting for an eternity to hear it. Oh my goodness, I love you so much too”. He embraced me and I felt secured in his arms – first time ever after my daddy was gone and never held on to my finger because of his lousy second wife and her sons that comparatively seemed better to him than me and my mum. I can never compare him to my dad as I never found him a moral person but this guy; he was beyond morality for me.  Unfortunately, we always are immature and perceptive when the mind stops functioning and it is the chords of heart that tunes in to write the lyrics of our love song. He repeatedly betrayed me whenever he said that he loved me and I was such a fool that I actually believed him every time his cold gray eyes deceived me with the floral words he uttered. I have no idea what was my ranking on his list but he was the first one for me and the last one too (This thought was shaken when he left me all on my own at the eleventh hour)

 

Doubtlessly, he treated me exceptionally. He lived in the hostel of the campus as his home was situated in some other city but he would always walk me to my home which was a 15 minutes walk from the school campus. He would often slip his arm around my waist to hold me against him firmly or would hold my hand tracing my fingers gently on our way to home. Everything he did was charismatic or may be I was new to flirting even at the age of 19. We went to the cinema a couple of times together and all he did was look at me; I would punch his well-built chest muscles as I was shy but he used to sit there looking at me the entire time and laugh out loud when I used to sob gently (on an emotional scene) with my tears fluttering on my cheeks and then he would gently press his pinky finger against my cheeks to wipe away the tears. When we used to head out of the cinema, he always babbled about my red rosy cheeks – rosy was the word he used for my cheeks. He knew that if I would laugh or cry I will turn red like a tomato within a second and this was one reason he used to call me “Rose” so that he can tease me with his enthralling smile and lure me with his appealing flirtiest voice. He always encouraged my natural looks – he thought ”NO-MAKEUP”  made me stand above all the girls in our school and he repetitively mentioned how he loved me for my simplicity. His gentle kisses on my forehead when he would cup my face in his hands always enhanced my confidence and strengthened my love for him. The first time he ever kissed me on my lips was stupendous – for a moment I thought life was at a standstill as if I was drawn away from this world to the Heavens and I enjoyed a flight with angels. It was quick but this was the first time I could smell his Tony & Guy gel cream, his strong after shave and the strawberry cologne that enchanted me to remain like this forever. He was a gentleman – I realized it when he plunged his gray eyes into my chocolate brown and uttered the three magical words for the last time. Are you wondering where did he go? I don’t know myself. After our graduation, he ensured me that we would marry and he would do all he can to make me meet his parents. One day after two months he called on my landline – I ripped open my heart and started screaming at him over the receiver. I cursed him for being out of contact, for switching off his cell phone and simultaneously I cursed myself for not taking his home address, if that could have been one way to be in contact through postal cards and letters! After listening to me calmly, he uttered in the cold voice (an anonymous voice I was unaware of), “We can not work out. I think we should part our ways”. The receiver dropped from my hand and I was shaken from head to toe. I didn’t have the strength to uplift myself and I fell onto the ground when my toe hit the corner of the table and my toe-nail was scraped from the corner oozing the red liquid that was none of my concern anymore – my heart was bleeding much more than what drenched the bottom of my trousers and spilled on the floor. I got up and dug myself in bed – not just for one day but for many days that continued for several months but my mum’s patience always fed me with the stamina to bear the hardships coming my way. I tried calling him twice on the same number from where he had called but it was a local phone booth number in Edinburgh. He was sly to never leave a trace of him in my life and vanish like a shooting star.

 

A story like this or multiple stories with various differences are being heard every day by us or one of our colleagues. What do we do after hearing them? Feel pity for them?? The root of the problem in anyway does not focus on the betrayal with girls specifically but it focuses on the “STRATEGY OF A RELATIONSHIP” – there could be a guy in this girl’s place too cursing the turmoil of the past. Previously, I have been going through various blogs where girls and guys write their heart out. They believe that writing can help them with the speedy recovery; well doubtlessly this is a good idea but there are certain remedies that can help heal the open wounds or instead help you be aware of the relationships before hand.

 

There are five BEWARES I will list under their respective headings to counter once you think that the relationship you desire should be serious:

FREEDOM GRANTED:

Once you are committed, the possessiveness should be under control. Let the other person breathe at least. Life and love is not about tying your loved ones instead the more you allow freedom the more trust is promoted within a relationship. Suspicion should be kept aside as this is one tool that should never be used throughout the life time.

 

SOCIAL CIRCLE IS NECESSARY:

There are majority of the love cases where they give up their healthy social life because the charm of each other’s arms is much more thrilling than partying out with friends on a beach party. This idea may not sound lame but once the relationship does not turn out to be long-termed, life is no less than a hell when you do not have friends around to support you. However, friends and a lover should have their respective places and the time should be accordingly divided.

ACADEMICS:

For students and teenagers who willingly involve themselves in love mantras during their studying years is not at all a good idea. There is an age and time period for everything. This love factor encourages you to compromise on the part of your academics which as a result affects your grades; hence even if a relationship is serious in your career years, make sure you have bound circle set around you or a time table to help you plan out everything requiring your immediate attention.

LOVE IS NOT LIFE:

People who can not recover over a relationship or goes in a certain painful trauma are usually the ones who are new to the world of “LOVE”. Either it may be the first time they have been serious regarding a relationship or it must have been their first long-termed relationship. Whatever the reason may be, make sure life and love are two separate key words. Love happens in LIFE. Therefore, life is a primary word and it should be lived and cherished with or without love from a lover. After all, love encounters are a part of the life time but life itself is a one-go blessing!

INVOLVE PARENTS:

Once you think that the relationship is pretty serious, involve your parents. If one side is reluctant to involve parents, make sure you get through the reason and if there is no reason then obviously there is a sour smell of your rotting relationship. Therefore, if both are willing to involve parents, this is a very good sign for a healthy relationship. The meeting of your loved one with your parents would help you take an advice from them who usually are more mature, practical and experienced regarding these matters.

REMEDIES IF YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN DITCHED

A HEALING PEN:

Write your heart out on a piece of paper and burn the paper right in front of you or shred it into pieces. No need to keep a record of what you write and if you desire to keep a record or maintain a diary, it is ultimately as per on your own wishes. The key point is jotting down the wounds to let them heal. Once your heart is lightened from the burden of sorrow, you are good to go!

HANGING OUT:

After a break up, no one desires to expose themselves to the world of the embarrassment or rather they hate the sunshine as they believe the light of hope in their lives had vanished. In such a condition, compelling one’s self to go out and cherish nature helps in a million ways. Your mind wanders around the circumstances but nature engages your attention quite well. Even if friends are around they can be a pretty good treat too. Therefore, this compelling may sound like forcing one’s self but at the end of the day it helps you to heal fast.

THANKING THE ALMIGHTY:

In such circumstances when we are suffering of sorrow and misery, all we are capable of is cursing God. This lame act consequently reminds me of how we can stop thanking Him for ending the unpleasant trauma at an early stage and after all He is the Creator – He would never take a bad decision for us. The trust and faith in Him always is a positive vibe to continue with life cheerfully.

CRYING DOES HELP:

At times, all we would desire is to cry until our tears are dry. Do as per the desires of your heart. Cry as much as you want. It helps in reducing the burden off your heart. At the end either you would fall asleep or feel better than what you felt before. Crying your heart out is a simple yet a great remedy.

DIVERT YOUR ATTENTION:

Indulge yourself in various activities to pursue your personal interest so you are not left with the long hours thinking about the turmoil of the past. Enroll yourself to learn new interesting things, read books, paint on the canvas, make handicrafts, spend your time walking along the sea shore, doing work out and etc. In short, treat yourself with a tough routine which will help you to forget about the past readily and your attention will be diverted towards various other things of your interest.

YOGA & MEDITATION:

Yoga and mediation is a ready-made remedy. Once you know yoga, you have a good option to recover with the lightening speed and if not then enroll yourself for the yoga classes and the difference can be felt instantaneously. Yoga and meditation helps you to attain peace of mind by soothing your heart pulse and brain nerves. This automatically drives you out of the horrid trauma that is the unpleasant present of the destiny for an amusing life experiences.

LEARN THE LESSON:

Feeling betrayed by a loved one is painful. Feeling that your trust and relationship were not valued by the other person is difficult to bear but learn the lesson on your way. Betrayal teaches you not to idolize the external sources. Learn the lesson of forgiveness.  After all, life is the name of “Moving On”!