Is Your Soul Worth A Look?

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My soul feels uncomfortable in its very own body. I wonder if I am a disappointing it or choking its voice. It doesn’t communicate with me anymore in the way it used to before. Is it that I am not having sufficient solitude to entertain it? Am I embracing life that will yield only worldly pleasures or am I preparing for Hereafter?

I like to look good, who doesn’t? Perhaps, if not good, then at least presentable. Does looking good serve the reason of my existence? Should I be worried about my physical appearance or the appearance of my spirit? If I came face to face with it someday, will I be able to recognise it. Mirror is my best friend, I love to watch the young woman I am growing into but do I have the courage to watch the reflection of my soul in the mirror? I am always posing for a good picture if somebody flashes their camera in my face. This is the age of ‘Selfie’ – one can hold their cellular phone to their face and capture an incredible shot. I will like to see a ‘Selfie’ of my soul. I am told beauty lies within then why this world is chasing the material beauty that is unsustainable; something that is destined to be destroyed.

We are the nation of fools. We blindly follow. ‘Fuck’ is a casual word for adolescents; if they use it then they think they sound very modern. Another very common word, ‘Bitch’; everything can be described in today’s world with the help of these two words by people around me. Of course, there are exceptions to these cases; hence none of the subject should be taken personally. When will we open eyes and realise it is already too late to undo the damage we have caused to this beautiful planet? When will we stop bullying that quiet girl in the corner of the classroom? When will we stop this disease of Racism from corroding our unity? When will we stop hating if our hearts are capable to love abundantly? I ask this 5-year-old boy to draw a heart. He doesn’t draw the complicated biological heart with veins and blood streams but he takes out his red crayon to draw a gigantic ‘lovely’ heart on an A-4 sheet and then colour it all red. He is innocent and doesn’t know how our hearts have blackened over the years. Without any proof, you call Muslims terrorists. Without any knowledge of their Holy Book, you accuse their religion of preaching hate and war. If terrorists in this world give a bad name to Jihad, did you ever take the initiative to ‘Google’ the word ‘Jihad’? No! You didn’t because you are happy with what Media is feeding you with. You are contented to be a blind-follower. Then why don’t you invite Zombies over and let them take your brains? At least, somebody will get fed.


Photo Credits: https://google.com/images

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Be Yourself!

Being Yourself is the best thing you can give to this world!

Being Yourself is the best thing you can give to this world!

This life is playing with me, doesn’t it play with everybody? However, what is the gist for grief and joy to be a part of my life when I now wish that it should be neutrality to embrace me. My heart is fragile; it weeps when I am miserable and it doesn’t know how to confine the sorrow. It laughs when I am ecstatic not knowing how to cater for my bliss. Why is it that I am never contented? Is it just me or that’s normal for Earthlings?

I want a life where I can choose the outcome of my activities. I want to be a judge of my very own actions. Am I asking too much? Is it too much to ask for people to mind their own business and let me mind my own? Is it too much to ask of people to not watch me in a bizarre manner if my arms are linked with my best friend’s and my hair are dyed pink. I do not care what they think about me but when the ‘staring business’ happens frequently, it makes me curious of what beauty is confined in me that people are attracted to give more than a glimpse to an ordinary girl like me.

My mother once told me that I have to be ‘Myself’ no matter what other people think of me. Now, that I haven’t seen my mother in past six years; I wonder if her advice would be the same. Should I continue to be myself or should I start paying heed to the cold stares and judgmental looks around me? My mother watches down on me every night from the Heaven. I hope I make her proud.

I am fifteen years old. My life is shaking and I have passed the point of knowing what right to do in which right place in when right time. Regardless, I have learnt something: I am in a better condition than many people in this world. I have clothes to wear, food to eat and clean water to drink unlike people living in less privileged areas like parts of Africa. I will always complain about something not being right or as per my wish because that’s the part of my human nature but I can take the time to be grateful to Almighty for all that I have.

Before it’s too late, we have to stop this Human Hypocrisy. The truth is you may not be perfect but you are yourself. Be thankful for what you have and who you are.
Learn and Survive – life is all about learning and surviving.

Be Inspired (Today And Everyday)

Evening People,

In this busy schedule, I am not likely to end up with a lot of time for myself or my hobbies but I try to keep pace with everything along the way. So for today, a little update from ‘Global-Unison’ or ‘Naima’ – any way you know me. 

I came across this video around a week ago and I am extremely inspired with this man’s words (Darryl Anka, a channel for an extra-terrestrial, Bashar) so I decided to share it here.

We need to remind ourselves everyday that we deserve happiness and every right to exist in this world because we are an essential part of this world. Think of this world as a jigsaw puzzle and yourself as one of the pieces of that puzzle then without you, the puzzle would not complete. Pamper yourself and let yourself be loved. Be capable of giving and receiving love, be capable of being you. I hope you all find these words inspiring too and this reminds you of how precious every second of our life is. 

Life is short, love living it and let all the odds be in your favor! 

The Power of Choice or Fear : You CHOOSE!

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It’s not easy to give up on one’s thoughts. Especially if something is haunting you and coming back to you in forms of dreams, daunting thoughts and much more. There comes a time in everybody’s life that they require to acquire the standards to stand steadfast in the face of life telling it to “piss off“;  cause no matter how much it scares them, not thinking about it leave about even deadly scars beneath their skin. Life and love goes parallel to each other. Most of the times, the junctions for both of the journeys might be the same yet one decision can lead to drastic changes in the course of journey you’ve been planning ahead since a long time. My life is no different. It brought me up on a platform, where I had to choose. Choice is a crucial word – it’s a war. It either destroys or builds up the future in one second – as easy as blinking yet consequences come with a great price. That makes me go back to think why Robert Frost chose the path ‘less travelled by’. He knew his sense of choice would matter; it would change what he wanted and needed in his future life.

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Not that this is the first time that I had to choose. I am 19, I have made many choices until now but I don’t regret any. Instead, we all make many choices on daily basis, don’t we? Not every choice I made had led to what I desired, yet I don’t regret cause in one way or the other, they have taught me the lesson of “life”. Everything you desire is not exactly what you need but Almighty knows better how needs are required to be fulfilled before your wants and desires or the other times it is just that everything doesn’t come the easy way. Life is all about challenges, isn’t it? On the dark morning of October 1st, 2013; I knew what was to last for no longer within me. A part of me that will be taken away forever and may be this time I could regret given how my future has been framed by my destiny. I believe in changing the destiny with one’s actions and good will but there are times when you stand helpless against the massive blow of Nature. This time, I adored what I have been bestowed with but regardless how much I loved and adored for being chosen for the blessing, I couldn’t keep it – I had to choose; a choice to deny the happiness for the sake of fear. This time, it wasn’t solely my choice, another being was involved with me and that being’s choices substantially made a difference. However, I would never blame the choices made by that being. Our decisions were mutual; I let go of my happiness with my very own hands because of the fear element dominating the situation – it was my choice to honor the way I have lived my life until now.

Life is short, love living it and let all the odds be in your favor! Have a good productive day!

 

I’m BACK!

Welcome to England!

Welcome to England!

Hello Folks! I know time has been a hard core weapon since ever but the past two months have been crucial. For all those who have been following me since long and know me, they were well aware of the fact that I would be moving to England for my undergraduate studies. For all those who have recently started following me and kept me updated with their comments and likes, I can’t be more grateful for all the support and love given to me despite of the fact that I was away. I would put up no dialogues but I really missed being on here terribly; the blogging fraternity is another family to me and not interacting with my family was extremely difficult as I had to pace myself with time and kept on moving no matter what. This is one of the very major lessons I learnt back in England – Time never stops for you and you have to keep moving on with the hands of the clock. At times, we over estimate ourselves by complementing the arms of clock pacing with us but it is always the other way round. It is the humans who put up all the struggle with time. I can’t express how deeply I prayed for the 2 months in England to end so I can see my family again in the Christmas vacations but once the December was up, I was too settled that I didn’t want to go and creep on the torture of seeing my family and leaving them back again after New Year. It doesn’t in any case means I was not excited to see them but 10th January 2013 has been haunting me since I have had the ticket in my hand. Anyway, if I move on with the arms of time then I shouldn’t be complaining about 10th January which awaits 20 days in between but I should be appreciating the fact that I am enjoying the time with my siblings and parents.

I treated myself even before I knew my result back in Leicester! Cheers!

I treated myself even before I knew my result back in Leicester! Cheers!

There have been many posts in pending about my life in England, lessons learnt on my way and much blah blah to come so stay tuned. Well, I am laughing! Shucks! This is exactly how we would advertise our product in terms of business studies with much more creativity. I will talk about my subjects later but right now I am excited to announce the score of the end term! 80% which is  terrific(at least for me)! I scored around 76% in midterms and I put all my heart and soul in studying a subject I have never studied before; BUSINESS – surprisingly I scored highest in that subject. English had been a pain in my over all body; not because I don’t like it but writing essays, in-text citations, references and what not literally sucks me. They require bulks of concentration so English becomes the toughest at times even for the nationals who refers to English as their first language. 

There have been many funny and embarrassing moments with me; the very recent one was something like this…

A stranger approaches me while I am waiting on the coach to Birmingham on the coach stand..

Stranger: Heya! You alright?
Me: Absolutely, thank you. (Yet confused why he approached me)
Stranger: Do you have a fag?
Me: Pardon Please.. (Much more confused)
Stranger: Erm.. A fag! Do you have one?
Me: Pardon.. What’s a fag? (Already embarrassed)
Stranger: I mean a cigarette. (A shy smile which indicated he wanted to laugh)
Me: Oh I see, I am sorry. I don’t smoke.|
Stranger: Seems so.. Thank you.

Anyway, he left me almost flushed with embarrassment and I was like “Crappy Crap” mumbling that to myself cause Brits would rather come up with “Bloody Bullshit” – Okay, I am not teaching any swear words over here and I believe that most of my readers are above 18 and if not so a very humble apology! Skip it! Anyway, in these two months, I have known the reason why my accent, pronunciation and so called vocabulary is “AMERICAN” not because of my education in an american school (We were always taught to spell “COLOUR” as “COLOUR” not “COLOR”) but my well pronounced “R’s” the sound of “T” making somewhat a “D” and then my vowels sounding a bit different and of course I wont use British slang or swear words cause I have always been into American Media! I somehow managed to travel to America in my lifetime and this was my first time ever in Britain (what makes me laugh is they call it GB – Great Britain, no offence meant but it is just funny.) They used to laugh on my pronunciation and I used to laugh on theirs and time went by. Like they would pronounce YOU-TUBE in a completely different way than me and this time its the vowel “U” which is contradicting.

Some of the pictures I took on my way to Birmingham Coach Station

On my way to Birmingham Coach Station

Sun rays felt beautiful that day!

Sun rays felt beautiful that day!

I took a coach from Leicester to Birmingham Coach Station and then a coach from Birmingham Coach Station to Birmingham Airport. I was already tired! 3 hours before boarding and then a very good news how my flight has been 2 hour delayed! Waiting for an eternity on the Birmingham Airport which is not really bigger than Birmingham Coach Station but I made it into the plane after those 4 and a half never ending hours. I planned on sleeping and I was happy how 7 to 8 hours of sleep awaited me somehow but the Emirates crew couldn’t see me resting like a poor baby, they woke me up around 4 times just asking me or rather begging (pleading if begging is a harsh word) me to try their award winning dinner meal. I denied thrice faking a smile but fourth time, I was blown up. I asked her to bring it up and she was more than happy that she woke a passenger to try their award winning meal and I told her how about that I have seen the award winning meal and smelt it, if she is feeling any better? She was too embarrassed and I felt guilty for being harsh but it was not at all intentional; the frustration came by itself.

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The most beautiful feeling was watching the sunrise over the horizon – it was a memorable moment for me. I have no idea if I have talked about the sky in England or not but I have observed those beautiful pinkish purplish skies turning slightly into golden orange and then sun settling down to hide itself for nearly 12 hours or more. The stars and sky has practically helped me with my loneliness – I mumbled to them, took long walks wandering off around the city just to get hold of the bunch of those sparkling stars so I can stay there and watch it for an eternity. There was this place, a garage kinda place where there were too many slopes. It was around a 5 minutes walk from where I was living, I enjoyed every bit of going higher and higher on the slope and then observing the skyline of the city – tremendously beautiful. The nature has been fascinating me more than I could have ever thought. It became my partner in those miserable days when I used to smile only looking at the trees with no leaves hoping I would see them dressed up soon enough in the summer next year!

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Nature invaded my soul and I felt better with every passing day. I got hold of this lovely girl, Syrics, a Chinese girl from Shanghai. She was in my class but we started getting along when we got to know we lived in the same building; she lives on the ground floor and I lived on the 5th floor. Eating together, hanging out together, watching horror movies together, shopping together, complaining about the cold weather, girly talks and what not! She was a Chinese, terrible at English but marvelous at gestures – I am just laughing remembering how when we geared our friendship, she used to search words for me to describe me and situations. For instance  if that failed miserably which used to happen at times (usage of sentences; one word has to be used in a specific manner – English is a language with million synonyms to the same word) she used to start gesturing and trying to explain me through actions as if she is dumb and I used to laugh like a creep and she used to chase me screaming “You Are Killed!” We saw the Christmas Lights going up together in the City Center on December 1st and she was so excited. I can’t ever forget the excitement on her face when I handed her Christmas present to her and she was removing the tape cautiously so she didn’t tear it off and I screamed how she should just tear off and then again our never ending laughs. I have always had my girlies being possessive about me and she tops the list! Briefly, I adore and love her incredibly!

Switching back to my flight, there was just an hour’s stay at Dubai International Airport and I was off for another 2 hours to see my family. The sky was clear and occupying the window seat again thrilled me and I was on cloud nine. And finally the magic moment was there; I saw my DAD and I ran off like I haven’t seen him for years and the tears rolled down my cheeks without even any prior notice. This was the very first time when I realized what does it mean by crying in happiness. I was smiling like a jerk and yet the tears welled up! Simply, I missed my family. My mum couldn’t make it to the airport cause it was a working day when I arrived  (December 12th) around noon time and she had to look after my siblings cause schools get off around the same time but when I saw her, I hugged her. I missed her the most – the entire time I missed my mum the most and I think its natural. She says I have grown up but I feel I have grown up within the time span of these two months. I don’t know what’s coming up next in the upcoming 20 days with my family but all I know is 10th January is going to be much more crucial than the rest!

PS–  Will be responding back to all the comments real soon! Apologies for the delay! I can’t thank more for the consistent support! Love you all!

A Thoughtful Morning!

Today’s morning was different and beautiful. Not because I had consumed a good amount of caffeine or that I went for a long romantic drive but because I was awakened by a little baby who compelled me to abandon my dream valley. Usually I’m an early bird so I knew it wasn’t too late but finding a baby around my bed and my mum rushing all around with her high-pitched voice ensured me that today’s morning was dedicated to her guests. Without my spectacles, I am almost blind so I couldn’t make out how the baby looked like while I tossed and turned in bed fighting with the sheets and pillows. I rummaged on the bed trying to find my spectacles and finally GOTCHA! As soon as I saw that baby clearly; smiling to me holding the side of the bed, I dashed to her and held her in my arms! I then realized that brushing teeth first would be better and then after getting done with the morning systematic routine, I was with the baby. I have no clue why am I attracted towards babies too much but anybody can be the victim to their cuteness, isn’t it?

Innocence of babies is one main reason for attracting almost everybody. I love them for their beautiful ways to learn step by step. With a growing baby, you are learning new things everyday yourself. The babies never “GIVE UP”– a great lesson for all of us. They may fell down million times over when they are learning to walk or sit but their determination and will power is unbeatable. Trying to achieve what they see other people doing becomes their ultimate goal and they achieve it some way or the other. They start crawling, standing and then walking with support and then a time comes when the baby needs no support! His legs can bear his weight and he walks well enough. Life has a same psychology; it treats you like a baby. It bruises you and you have to learn to stand again. There may be many huddles and you may fell down many times over but your strength and determination is counted on for helping you to move on with the failures to embrace victory at the end of the day. I watched the baby who continuously tried to walk without support. She fell at times but all she did was look at me and laugh. It was the baby of some new neighbor who visited my mommy to know about the area and all. This baby made my morning pleasant and thoughtful. At times, life treats you in a certain way to learn from others being a mere observer. I was treated nobly by learning how a year old baby can be an inspiration for a new morning and the reason for my splendid smile.

Life is a saga
A panel of story ruled by the antagonist
Truth radiates the world

Beyond The Vision!

When I was a little girl, the world around me was like a bubble. I now think, if I would have popped my finger out of that bubble in those days, the world would have not been observed as a merry-go-round by me. A small girl who bombarded her parents with a “WHY”, “HOW” and “WHEN” frequently and who was fearless to burst the bubble and come face to face with the ruthless reality pertaining in the society; but Alas! The vindictive time, it always has a great timing! At the age of 4, this girl asked her teacher, “Ma’am, why can’t birds speak?” That day her teacher told her that every WHY in the world can not be answered and due to the undeveloped brain cells which failed to analyze the answer in the appropriate manner, that answer of the teacher was saved as a permanent file in ROM of her brain that could never be removed. Whenever, she faced a situation or a question and as soon as her brain used to prepare her for asking WHY due to the perplexity, the same stored file used to bang her head at the right moment reminding her of the teacher’s answer. She laid in her bed every night wondering how the sky is standing without pillars when no building can. She marveled how the sun shines so brightly when the moon was merely the opposite. She was bewildered when she questioned herself why the sea is so immense that she can’t see the ending spot. The perplexed questions ended every night with an exposure to the unexpected valley of dreams. Hence, that is the time when this 4 year old girl started coming out of the sealed bubble. She now wanted to be a colorful butterfly which can fly and be responsible for her very own flight.

Some of my many journals!

This girl started developing wings and the bubble was harmed every time her wings flapped at any instant. She lived in the world of her QUESTIONNAIRE. The questions, she kept to herself which were ultimately the reason for the quest to discover and explore beyond her knowledge. She wanted someone to hold up to her and answer her; she again faced hard time analyzing which medium could be the safest. Yeah, her wit clicked, why not her very own mother; but again that permanently stored answer of the teacher amplified her mystification and that is when she discovered that there exist a PAPER and a PENCIL that can be her best friend and unlike any other beings on this planet, their mouths will be forever sealed. She was amazed to discover such an innovative idea and at the age of 8, she started maintaining her very own registers. She did not want anyone to know about her thoughts regarding anything; she wanted those journals to be as personal as her body was to her. She was unaware of the fact that an eight year old doll would not be given sufficient privacy to survive and hence would be intruded more than once if the hidden registers came across the eyes of her guardians. She tried her level best to never let anybody know that she writes to release the burden off her shoulders; she carried those registers in her bag every time with an unpleasant fear of her thoughts becoming publicized.

Around the corner, this truth was not concealed for a very long time and she found her mother reading one of her private journal once she woke up from a very sound sleep. That was the first time she ever yelled at anybody. She was crying, she was blaming herself, she was regretting for choosing paper to be her best friend as it eventually showed its disloyalty. There was nothing confidential mentioned in those journals which could not be read by her mother but the very mutual thought of how untrustworthy even a non-living thing can be occupied her and this trauma didn’t end well. Her mother held her, caressed her, kissed her and embraced her collecting her entirely in her maternal arms where she sobbed for an eternity. She kept repeating the same line of how she hated herself. Within this phase, she realized one of her very good qualities that she doesn’t require an eternity to get over a mishap. Within two days, she was the same cheerful girl who lived in her own world with the same innocent heart building more question with every passing moment but now she did not have any best friend. At school, she was a quiet and shy girl who always succeeded in academics with a remarkable margin but showed no interest in any extra co-curricular activities. The time continued to pass by and taught her various lessons of life but she missed that unfaithful friend of hers – PAPER! The only thought that used to startle her was that why could she not forgive her best friend? After a year or so, she recovered and was friends with PAPER again. This time she wanted to be more aware of her mother not reading anything; she was now growing into an adolescent and the life was chasing her like she was a bone being chased by a starving dog. She continued filling sheets and sheets with her personal experiences, her daily affairs, how the world haunted her, how she wanted to be everything but not a wife (like her mother), how she wanted to explore the space and etc. The dreamy world was yet not over until 12, subsided with mature thoughts than her age-group. Even her dreamy world craved the meaning of life and the reason behind her existence. She often used to write about it when she entered into a very charming and alluring phase of any human’s life – TEENAGE!

Now this doll was 13; no more a doll indeed. She was a grown up girl who was ready to flap her wings open and explode the bubble confining her abilities. She flew swirling around the boundaries of life and exploded it with a charisma. Her teenage was abnormal or rather should I say it was normal because it was not the same boy-friends, drinks, clubs, pubs and dance floors that united her life and thrilled her but it was her escalating confidence that made her “UNIQUE” in the gatherings. Her parents were astounded themselves, she was paranormal with her brain grasping more than required for her age. She was no more a shy doll but a confident and stunning girl who could sway around with daffodils and make the universe dance on her finger tips. She turned out to be a debater where her teachers encouraged her to debate frequently to enhance her inborn skills with the weapon of experience. The paper remained her best friend throughout; though it was disloyal at times but she realized how her best friend could be someone else’s friend too. Her acquaintances called her arrogant, rude, she was blamed for her attitude when all she did was smile – her gleaming eyes smiled to their remarks. She was blessed with an enriched soul, all her job was to nourish it with plenty of resources in order to live up to what is expected of her by the world as well as Him.  

Let you soul be free like a flying bird because ETERNITY lives in there.

This girl is ordinary just like YOU. A compassionate soul living in everybody – the only difference between YOU and her is she listened and responded to her soul since the day it called out to her; she was accomplishing what she was asked for by her Almighty. This is a time to catch the right bus at the right station and listen to your blaring soul, let the questions seep your heart, get a medium to express yourself and immortal soul BUT be aware of the hazards and obstacles on your way because no accomplishment can be achieved without the audacity to try. Live every moment in a sacred way cause neither can you trust your breath nor your life – this little doll gave us the same message of how to never trust the voices you hear from your ears but trust the sole voice that you can hear from the ears of your heart and soul – the voice of Eternity. 

Babies Ain’t a piece of cake (Tribute to MOTHERS)

In bed, trying to smile to the camera while my cup of coffee is all empty!!

What happens when all day you have been working like an ass and at the end of the day when you want to have a nap, the sleep doesn’t come by easily?? At times, I am dozing off unnecessarily but right now when I really need to sleep as I have to get up early in the morning cause my baby cousins will be at my place – I just can’t help myself but crave for some caffeine! My system has been programmed to malfunction at extreme times I guess, whenever I am exhausted and exceptionally fatigued I can not rest instead I am more restless and hyper-active at such moments which results in the dark-creepy-swollen eyes!

The three sisters together after breakfast!!
From Left to Right: Soha(oldest), Izma(Youngest), Nabah(Middle one)

Nabah and Izma jumping on the bed during breakfast and I am sure you can’t hear me requesting them to sit down in the photo!!

The day was busy and tiring today; my mommy and aunt were out for shopping and my aunt had an appointment with a orthopedist as well due to some recent back and leg cramps occurring occasionally since a while ago. My mom and aunt left me with the kids at 10 in the morning when they were sleeping peacefully in their bed. After an hour or so they woke up and I knew my parade had begun. I managed to fry eggs and toast few slices of bread along with boiling milk on the stove while consoling the youngest that her mother is in the washroom(Lying with kids can be dangerous and I discourage that – my experience had taught me enough today). I prepared their breakfast as fast as I could and dashed into the room to find the other two playing some Barbie games on my brand new iPad. Firstly I couldn’t digest how they turned it on when I have never used it in front of them but then I flushed that thought at the back of my head knowing that they were not some normal kids but the super-techno kids of 21st century. I was not worried about my iPad for that time but I was worried about their empty tummies. I fed them with my own hands from the oldest to youngest cause the 7 years old feels that I discriminate on the basis of love with them due to their ages (though it has never been my intention) so I couldn’t do anything but feed the three of them myself. Then I managed to get their attention off the iPad as I had to bathe them. I bathed them, had them brush their teeth and then brushed their long curly hair – goodness; it was another examination brushing their long curly hair and making a tight looking braid once they were dry!

Nabah running to me for going to the bathroom after I have resolved the fight between them for that goddamned remote!!

At 2 in the afternoon my siblings were at home from their school and serving them with the lunch along with the three little kids wasn’t an easy task. I served them with sandwiches and fried some nuggets and crockets which were enjoyed by my siblings as well as my baby cousins. Sideways, I told my siblings to take an afternoon nap so they can get up fresh in the evening and continue with their homework and etc. Fortunately, they obeyed me without any argument (which is a rare case) and I engaged myself with the babies because I had to cook some oat meal porridge for them as per their mother’s instructions. While the oatmeal was preparing, I gave them some books to read but they showed least interest and then reluctantly I had to play the DVD of “The Little Mermaid” for them so that they could sit quietly. As I went in my room to relax myself for a bit and lay down in bed for a while, I heard the youngest (Izma) crying and her voice pierced through my ears and I got up running all the way to the hall so that I could see for my eyes what had happened that have had her screaming along with sobbing loudly. When I reached the hall, I saw them pulling each other’s hair and smashing each other with whatever comes their way to hand like a weapon. I got in between and was severely thrashed with hair pulling and scratches of their trimmed nails and what not but ultimately I got them over the fight which had accidentally started over who would keep the remote in their hand and just then the porridge was ready too as I could smell the aroma so well. I learnt a lesson on my way: Never ever think of “RESTING” leaving the kids alone; they would screw you even before you start regretting.

After giving me hell of the 15 minutes of my life; she still smiled!!

Nabah desired to capture a shot cause she wanted to use my camera!!
Look at my posy baby(Soha) – giving me a hard laugh as I go through the pictures!

Anyway, the oldest (Soha) ate the porridge without any chaos. The youngest(Izma) did make some noise but when I engaged her attention with some teddy bears and dolls around me, she was convinced and ate her meal without any mess but the one in between these two sisters; the one older than Izma but younger than Soha made me experience hell within the 15 minutes while I forced spoonful of porridge in her mouth which would come streaming out and I would make her eat the same thing again (I really felt like puking but I had to do it) because if I would have thought of sparing her of that oatmeal, her mommy would have never spared me for life punishing me for keeping her baby hungry! After all when she was done with her porridge, I felt like a winner – so proud of myself and smiling to each one of them for their cooperation and teaching me the worth of the mothers across the world.

My pretty mommy with Umair (my brother)!

This one day baby sitting taught me a lot. When my mom came back, I hugged her like a 4-year-old baby would tug into her mom seeing her after a long time. The three babies were even happier to see their mom. I realized how mothers work like a robot machines, looking after kids, serving their husbands, looking after the household and what not. Their day starts with the sun (or even before that) and their day would end late after everyone is snoring and fast asleep. I am tear-eyed thinking of what my mommy has gone through for me and my family and that whatever I do, it can never repay for the sleepless nights she had stayed up when I was a baby and my days were nights and nights a lively morning, I can never pay off for the time she has spent in my upbringing teaching me the difference between good and bad, I can never compensate for her love and care she has awarded me with throughout and I wonder if I would ever be able to pay her off for being my backbone through the thick and thin which has given me the confidence to stand upright with dignity in the shoes which fit me now. This is not the story of my *MOTHER* specifically but all the mothers across the globe. They say, Heaven is under the feet of mothers and I can not agree more because Almighty created mothers as His representative on the phase of this planet. That’s why He had poured all the love and care in the mother that He would have liked to give to His creations in the embodiment of a mother. One day baby-sitting taught me much, I have been babysitting my baby cousins for a while now since they are here from Dubai but an entire day with the babies where I have no one to depend on was an outstanding lesson. While I sit in my bed sipping caffeine, I mumble “I LOVE YOU, MAMA” and you my friends out there have to give your mothers a call – a phone call probably and those who unfortunately can’t give a phone call, give her an honor for the memory call! I can not help but salute all the mothers out there who have the stamina to overlook their baby’s mistakes because it is only them who possesses heart as vast and immense as the sea – the true beauties and saviors of the world!

Suicide is never an ANSWER!

“But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”

I read the very same line few days back and I felt like a winner despite of all the failures that have miserably been destroying me within and I felt proud of myself – really very proud for being steadfast and dedicated to the goals of my life. The question that rises over here is that if failure really is a misery that can compel you to invite a death call and split the threads of your breath? Who is not a FAILURE in this life – failure is an understatement; we all are WARRIORS! We struggle to achieve and if there are huddles to accomplish on the way to our destination then they are the trademark for earning experience – the only human on the planet who have no experience (in terms of life) is a new-born baby and as soon as he breathes in this world, he is open to the wide valley of experiences. From feeding to playing, from smiling to crying, from sensing to loving, from crawling to walking; all is a new experience for him. When he is learning to walk or sit, he does fall short a million times and he does cry often but all these efforts are worth it when he finally succeeds to sit or walk without an external support – that one smile of joy is worth the plenty tears he had cried throughout the miserable process of learning and that pain is worth the skill he has learned over the course of time. Unfortunately, as a baby grow physically with utmost optimism and a firm belief in trying; his mental capability grows with the blend of influences from the social circle and other things that encompasses the society where he grows up. When this baby starts kindergarten, he cries because he fears the new atmosphere and isolation from his mother punches him in his gut. When the same boy grows up to join school, he fears to make new friends and the competition to cope up with studies. With the time, many ups and downs are welcomed by life. Some are bearable and some are beyond one’s endurance capability, hence in any way human survives because they possess the brains to reframe themselves after being completely destroyed and devastated. Some are real warriors and endure pain and suffering coming their way with the determination, steadfastness and a hope to see the bright day but some lose hope and make a heartbreaking decision of “SUCIDE” – it pierced and slashed my soul while typing this word but encountering and accepting the reality is primarily imperative in order to eliminate it.

Suicide is one crucial reality of this bitter-sweet world. I am well aware of how life can be intimidating and discouraging but is “SUICIDE” a moral decision? Of course NOT! The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds. This is what’s happening around us and I know that it would keep increasing as it has been reported by WHO that since the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Suicide is now among the three leading causes of death among those aged from 15 to 44 years (male and female). I have known a guy who tried to attempt suicide around three years back but his attempt failed . I met him the day before yesterday in a cocktail party and I observed a different guy talking to me. He sounded happy and ebullient and he was talking about how he would be marrying in the upcoming months. By looking at him, I wondered if he really remembered the night his mum was crying on my mum’s shoulder and I was peeking inside the operation theater where his body was being operated to work out with poison if possible. I thought back to myself silently if he remembered how long that night would have been for his mother who had turned into a widow just a month ago. I questioned myself whether he recalls his attempt and thank Almighty for giving him another chance to live the blessing he was bestowed upon with. The smile that illuminated his face and the reflection of bliss and pride in his character was evident that I can tell very easily what his answer would be if I ask him whether the decision he made three years back about ending his life was a sane decision or not. His answer would absolutely be “NO” when he had been a victim himself of the unending toil but his contentment today is a positive weapon to encounter everything with confidence and optimism.

The WHO states that mental health disorders (particularly depression and substance abuse) are associated with more than 90% of all cases of suicide. However, suicide results from many complex sociocultural factors and is more likely to occur during periods of socio-economic, family and individual crisis (e.g. loss of a loved one, unemployment, sexual orientation, difficulties with developing one’s identity, dissociation from one’s community or other social/belief group, and honor). The suicide rate astounded me when I read the WHO report further stating that 55% suicide attempts are made by adolescents to adults aged between 15 to 44 years and 45% suicide attempts are made by people aged 45 years and over. The crucially disheartening fact is that suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people aged between 15 to 24 years at which WHO states that “Youth Suicide is increasing at the greatest rate.”

Most people who commit suicide don’t want to die—they just want to stop hurting. Suicide is an attempt to escape suffering that has become unbearable. Blinded by feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness and isolation, a suicidal person can’t see any way of finding relief except through death – the only way they think they can attain peace. However despite their desire for the pain to stop, most suicidal people are deeply conflicted about ending their own lives. They wish to find an alternative to committing suicide but they just can’t see one. If a friend or family member is considering suicide, you might be afraid to bring up the subject but talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life. Hence, we have to aware ourselves to help people around us. One death in every 40 seconds is not a joke – we are a responsible “HUMAN” living on the planet (say NO to geographic divisions – we all are one and this world is our abode) Hence we can always endeavor on our part to stop this exercise and educate the people around us regarding “LIFE” who may in your opinion can later be the target of this lethal exercise. Therefore, I believe that we all have been through pain and suffering, our heart must have been attacked and invaded at times and our soul must have wished for an end once in a while but that doesn’t allow us to put a full-stop ourselves. Wait for the natural full-stop; at least that doesn’t announce you a “LOSER”. None of us desire an undignified end and even most of the suicidal people do not desire “DEATH” or “DARK-END”; instead they desire for the pain to stop. Make an aim to stay happy and make others happy. Reward the people around you with a smile and a compliment to make their day – your smile can be a healing therapy for a traumatized heart which can result in saving one life for every 40 seconds.

Your family is your first Ministry!

August 12th 1996 – a two-year old little girl surely did not know the significance of this date at such a young age yet she celebrated it every year (and will continue to) since the day she knew what birthdays were and whose birth date made this date special. Well, if you guys (I mean both gals and fellas) are thinking to apply brakes to the present and dive into the history books or lectures you must have received in past from your history teachers then take a deep breath – I am not talking about anything such as that yet I will astound you with how every date is special within itself.

Umair’s (my brother’s) sweet sixteenth!!

Except of some breathtaking facts like the only silent film “Wings” won an Oscar for best picture in 1927 on the very same date of August 12th, Soviet Union conducted a secret test of its 1st hydrogen bomb in 1953 on the same date, William Shatner was married to Gloria Rand on August 12th 1956 (yeah, its lame but spare me without smacking me down), the very first time two people were in space in 1962 on August 12th, China & Japan signed a peace treaty in 1978, the very first IBM Personal Computer was released on the very same date (12th August) in 1981 and in 1996 I was blessed with a new-born baby – of course I can’t be a mother at the age of two but a baby brother was warmly welcomed!! Two years younger than me – not even exactly two; just a one day less than 2 because he is 12th August and me 13th! Celebrating birthday together is utmost fun but this time it was something special – it was his “SWEET SIXTEENTH”! This post is going to be informal so anyone who wishes to kick me or punch me in my gut ; all of you are warmly welcome to email me but the emotional and exhilarating episode yet have to gear up!

Left to Right : Me, Umair (the birthday boy) and Atif (my other brother)
Love them to the core!

Well, it was his sweet sixteenth and my eighteenth so August 2012 was much awaited since New Year (or may be even before)! His birthday was a blast! I surprised him at the midnight with some balloons and a cake and party crackers so I can just blew him off his seat and make him wonder at how super awesome his siblings are! I am sure he felt it but he didn’t feel comfortable to express his happiness and there was a reason behind that too. His O levels result was expected on August 13th (my birthday) so he was all anxious about the upcoming result and least concerned to take part in the celebrations of his birthday blast. At times, I asked him to smile and be confident about how his hard work and struggle would be paid back but all I received was a “GRIN” or may be some words under his breath (can be curse words too for releasing down the pressure in the most abnormal way) or it was an outburst like “SHUT UP” or “DUHH” – anyway whatever it was; it made me go all crazy to tease him more and more! He slept around 3 in the morning (mum and dad were certainly snoring in their bed by that time) and before that he was praying for himself like geeks! I even teased him that if he would have put this much effort before exams in his studies then he would have not been this worried – he hated me for pulling his leg from time to time but isn’t it all we call “THE SIBLING’S LOVE”! I even offered him a drive though I did not have my driving license as there was still a day to go to be 18 but he refused and I think he missed out the fun we would have had wandering from street to street playing with the peace of night. After all, he slept at 3 am and I was all curious to make the day special for him. I made a card for him and packed him a digital camera and a perfume (Eternity for MEN) that I had bought for him earlier – I hoped he would love it. I then slept around 6 in the morning and woke up before him to make some coffee muffins he loves. Few hours later, when he was smiling and laughing I was contented. It is always a different feeling to see your young boy smiling and laughing; a feeling of contentment and delight embraces the soul when you succeed to paint a smile across his face – when they smile, the efforts are worth it. I was on cloud nine as I have had succeeded to make him forget the anxiety of his upcoming result. He loved the presents whole-heartedly (greatly expected, who wouldn’t have had? – I was saving for an eternity to buy him those things). After all, the day ended and I captured his smiles in my head as I knew I would be away from them very soon (my university starting and I have to move to Leicester, England). There was no surprise for me at midnight but million calls and my parent’s and sibling’s hugs and wishes made it special in itself – I cherished each and every moment as I wondered if I would be here to celebrate my next birthday; all I did the entire time was resisted myself to not spill a tear because I didn’t want my mommy to get upset or overwhelming at this particular day!

I love my mum!!
PS– This is an old picture around a year and a half ago!

Don’t forget, when I write there is always a message concealed and this time there is one too. Family is family and there is no alternative for family – neither your boy-friend/girl-friend nor your friends because your parents are a treasure in disguise. You may not realize their worth in their life time but once they abandon you then the thousand wishes in the wish-well can’t bring them back so love them now for who they are and thank them for supporting you throughout without any selfish means. Your siblings are your very best friends; they make the world around you beautiful and amusing – the fun and enjoyment you have with them is an exciting priceless adventure that in no way can be compared to anything in this universe. They understand you and defend you even when you are wrong; take your blames on their own shoulders even at the age of six; argue with parents and the world around to prove you right – their presence is a blessing for which you should be grateful everyday.  I read it somewhere and it fascinated me a lot and so I will share it with you.

BOY-FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

GIRL-FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

FAMILY = Look at the last three words – ILY – I LOVE YOU.

Amazing, isn’t it? I love my family and their presence is a blessing for me for which I am thankful to Almighty and will be throughout my life! I pray for their protection from evil and health and happiness. Amen. Do not forget to pray for your family everyday; they should be your very first priority so if you are done reading it and haven’t talked to your parents or siblings (even daughters or sons for the matter) since a while then call them up and let them know that they will always be cherished. This world is not a place for hatred instead it should be the aroma of love spreading far and wide; hence forget the old wounds and take an initiative to cradle your relationships and knot a new thread if you have not been in contact with your family and if my words aren’t convincing then remember your childhood days – I am sure you will be rushing to grab the phone then!