Rising into a Fall

I sat here in the middle of nowhere, my feet jammed on the brake pedal, willing to let go off it any second to put my throbbing heart to rest. This cliff, which watches over 5000 feet of uncertainty can revaluate the certainty of the script of my fate and it wouldn’t hurt an inch of my being. I’d delve into the realm of dust and bask in the glory of nothingness and my so called free spirit shall really be set free. It often baffles me that we are led to blindly believe in the flair of every course of action being pre-destined while we fail to realize that it is in reality our choice which instructs the course of destiny. Destiny is merely a concept which unwinds the complexity of life for the very simplistic beings. However, the complexities cannot be negated by believing in something which is an open-ended aspect of controversy and have no reference to the context.

The reservoir of their time together flashed in front of her eyes like a kaleidoscope of memories and she knew that it was sufficient for her to take her final breaths with a smile – the cobblestone streets, their first kiss in the middle of the lush fields in Scotland, the scent of his musk overwhelming her senses, the adrenaline associated with his thoughts and emotions, the light reflected in his ocean blue eyes capable of illuminating the darkest of the imaginative fears and that crackling laughter to always take her breath away. Her eyes are tightly shut and jaws ferociously clenched with her arms pressed against the steering of her very first Porsche. It could not have been more perfect to let go of her only true belonging on her own terms surrounded by commodities which meant the most to her entirety. This car she sat in was the product of the proceedings left of her savings account she mounted while working as a bartender during her time at the university. The cliff was where Aaron, her high school sweetheart broke up with her, leading her to Frasier. Despite of all the heartache and trivialness attached with the unexpected breakup with Aaron, she knew it would have been impossible for her to call it quits if Aaron wouldn’t have been brave enough to address the concerns in their relationship, hence risking the existence of Frasier in her life. Frasier was her favourite memory of all, and the only risk ‘she ran by choosing her own terms and conditions was cracking his heart open. Perhaps, she was hopeful that he of all people would understand given he was the only person who understood her insides as if he co-existed within her.

I think Mother will be very unhappy with this choice in particular. My brain tells me that it may take Mother a lifetime to absolve my actions of sins she thinks only exist because of her faith in religious beliefs. It astounds me how she fails to understand that the Divine Force, commonly known as God if It even exists, and is the Provider for all of us then all It would wish for us is to choose happiness and therefore, my happiness is in letting go of the threads that deeply connect me with the circle of life. Father will be disappointed in me and I will no more be his champ. Finally, Uriel can seek the validation from Father that he believed was merely impossible because I stood as a rock-hard obstruction in his way. Father will appreciate for the very first time that Uriel didn’t turn out like me despite of him consistently breathing down Uriel’s neck to follow in my footsteps. I reckon all I will ever want to tell Father, if I ever could, is that I’d have a lifetime wasted if I choose to just suffocate my existence in the air which reeks of violence, hypocrisy and judgmental beliefs tainting the individuality, which is my human body over a vessel for something extremely sensitive and substantial: my soul. I believe it will pain my soul the most if Father even for a second will doubt his position of letting me be a free bird. If my decision to choose an eternity sooner than later will tarnish his belief that he should have listened to Mother and will admittedly give into her “I said so”, then every tear that moistens his cheek will be a stab tearing away at the base of my soul. These concerns have me second doubt my choices; if what I believe happens to dissect the core of not only the most important beings to me but also my soul even if it were to exist in its most natural state.

The most common of misconceptions to be construed with respect to her choice would be labelling her, some of which will stand out for self-explanatory reasons; the most pivotal one being selfish. A broken smile hatched at the curve of her mouth as she wondered if they really understood what it meant to be self-centred. Perhaps, they knew nothing about the philosophy of life, whose esse are in opposition to the biology of life; the latter of which they understand but the former of which their functional brains will find difficult to perceive. However, if she really believed in the surrender or abandonment as the ultimate salvation, she wouldn’t have waited all these years living on the edge given she was merely eight when it was past her head that the world will never be able to crack the intricacies of a human brain which for her was an utmost pleasure. It was her refuge from the brutality of humanity. She felt a stab of excitement and a pang of guilt concurrently.

“Follow your heart, Nora. It will lead you to your dreams. Trust your intuition, it facilitates self-discovery and inspires positive change. Be yourself; choose each day as an opportunity to better yourself and don’t forget to love yourself, love”, her father’s voice echoed in her head as tears rolled down her cheeks. The man did an exceptional job with her, preaching to her that being a misfit was as typical as the ways of a traditionalist. He was a protective father, like any other father, however he wouldn’t do injustice to the extraordinary his daughter brought to the world which filled him with sheer delight and pride. She pressed her propped arms against the steering wheel blaring the horns of the car to silence the doubts; she was struggling with the pendulum that swung at a pace faster than her heartbeat between her choice and their voices.

I have never seen Mother and Father have a similar opinion on a human before but Frasier was an exception. He won their hearts in their very first meeting with him. He was an absolute charmer. He helped Mother bake banana bread and blueberry muffins after lunch and set the table at the patio for the evening tea. He went to play golf with Father after the tea and returned swamped in advice on ways to improve his game. Father and Mother loved him so much in the matter of just an evening that Father had the hotel he was staying at cancel his stay with them and he ended up crashing in the guest room in our basement. What was there not to love about him?

When the home had snoozed that night, the night-owls they happened to be, they tip-toed their way into the patio to gaze at the starry sky. Frasier slipped his arm around her waist, gently pulling her closer and brushed the corner of her bottom lip with his thumb. He motioned for them to lay flat on their backs on the grass, his hand still clasping her waist ever so lightly. She inched closer and rested her head against his chest and the sound of his heartbeat felt like the wind chimes over the ripple of the ocean breeze calling her home. The silence in the air was golden. After a couple of minutes, he rolled over to lay on his belly slipping her head in the palm of his hand and the other arm snugged around her. He smiled his mischievous smile and the look in his eyes said it all. He moved closer and it felt like that the starlight had dimmed just for their moment. He pressed his lips against hers for not more than a few seconds when she managed to rid herself from his hold and dashed to the main entrance of the house. He chased after her and they crashed in the guestroom for the longest time, watching Netflix and sipping on the bottle of bubbly he got her parents just a day before. She brushed his knuckles while his fingers were laced with hers and he didn’t realize when he dozed off with his head perched on her shoulder. She pecked on his cheek, pulled the covers over him, tucked him in bed and sneaked out of the guest room, making the least amount of sound and motion. She laid in her bed wide awake staring at the blank canvas of her room ceiling, thinking to herself that what was it that she did to be fortunate enough to deserve someone like Frasier in her life, given humans usually weren’t her cup of tea. The thought of his chivalry put an insomniac to sleep that night and the very same thought shall today set the spirit of a wild caged soul free.

I don’t feel the need to leave a few words that perhaps will lurk in the lives of my people, serving as an excruciating reminder and the queer feelings that will be associated with it will only serve to defeat the purpose of slipping away as invisibly as possible in the realms of eternity. It will merely create a ripple effect of affliction, impacting the hearts I cherish the most to ache in grief of something symbolic of a celebratory cause. I believe my silence can speak volumes while my words may only serve to resurrect the essence of my being. This may commonly be misunderstood as selfish but I am rooting for the greater good here. However, sometimes, just sometimes silence is just as misinterpreted as words and I fear being misunderstood for making a bold choice yet again.

She wasn’t one of those who left their business half-done. She always has to have the last word.

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Author’s Note: With two very renowned names committing suicide this month, I felt it was very important for me to publish this piece of prose I have written a while ago. The background of this prose is a conversation I landed in with a bunch of peers  at a lunch a couple of months ago regarding what motivates suicide and how it is rightly ‘illegal’ on a social as well as religious account. It broke my heart that day to witness how ignorant we are even as an educated lot to not be able to acknowledge that each human mind paints and processes the taste of pain and this world uniquely and we cannot assemble any generalization when it comes to a human brain and heart. It failed me to know that they think that suicide is selfish and an attention seeking stunt; I was appalled by the audacity with which my peers so conveniently declared that suicide is usually an accident and a person never intends to take away their life but it is just a cry for help. It may be true in some cases but like I said before, we should refrain from making generalizations about such a serious issue and acknowledge that each human brain may have gone through ultimately a lot to even consider it to be a cry for help. 

It is my humble request to play your part in embracing and spreading this message that mental health is as important, if not more, as your physical health. I have worked with groups promoting mental health awareness and believe you me when I say that we all have heard and read sufficient life stories to gather something as simple as this: life is often unpredictable and pain seldom times unbearable. At the end of the day, we are only human. 

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Be Inspired (Today And Everyday)

Evening People,

In this busy schedule, I am not likely to end up with a lot of time for myself or my hobbies but I try to keep pace with everything along the way. So for today, a little update from ‘Global-Unison’ or ‘Naima’ – any way you know me. 

I came across this video around a week ago and I am extremely inspired with this man’s words (Darryl Anka, a channel for an extra-terrestrial, Bashar) so I decided to share it here.

We need to remind ourselves everyday that we deserve happiness and every right to exist in this world because we are an essential part of this world. Think of this world as a jigsaw puzzle and yourself as one of the pieces of that puzzle then without you, the puzzle would not complete. Pamper yourself and let yourself be loved. Be capable of giving and receiving love, be capable of being you. I hope you all find these words inspiring too and this reminds you of how precious every second of our life is. 

Life is short, love living it and let all the odds be in your favor! 

The Power of Choice or Fear : You CHOOSE!

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It’s not easy to give up on one’s thoughts. Especially if something is haunting you and coming back to you in forms of dreams, daunting thoughts and much more. There comes a time in everybody’s life that they require to acquire the standards to stand steadfast in the face of life telling it to “piss off“;  cause no matter how much it scares them, not thinking about it leave about even deadly scars beneath their skin. Life and love goes parallel to each other. Most of the times, the junctions for both of the journeys might be the same yet one decision can lead to drastic changes in the course of journey you’ve been planning ahead since a long time. My life is no different. It brought me up on a platform, where I had to choose. Choice is a crucial word – it’s a war. It either destroys or builds up the future in one second – as easy as blinking yet consequences come with a great price. That makes me go back to think why Robert Frost chose the path ‘less travelled by’. He knew his sense of choice would matter; it would change what he wanted and needed in his future life.

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Not that this is the first time that I had to choose. I am 19, I have made many choices until now but I don’t regret any. Instead, we all make many choices on daily basis, don’t we? Not every choice I made had led to what I desired, yet I don’t regret cause in one way or the other, they have taught me the lesson of “life”. Everything you desire is not exactly what you need but Almighty knows better how needs are required to be fulfilled before your wants and desires or the other times it is just that everything doesn’t come the easy way. Life is all about challenges, isn’t it? On the dark morning of October 1st, 2013; I knew what was to last for no longer within me. A part of me that will be taken away forever and may be this time I could regret given how my future has been framed by my destiny. I believe in changing the destiny with one’s actions and good will but there are times when you stand helpless against the massive blow of Nature. This time, I adored what I have been bestowed with but regardless how much I loved and adored for being chosen for the blessing, I couldn’t keep it – I had to choose; a choice to deny the happiness for the sake of fear. This time, it wasn’t solely my choice, another being was involved with me and that being’s choices substantially made a difference. However, I would never blame the choices made by that being. Our decisions were mutual; I let go of my happiness with my very own hands because of the fear element dominating the situation – it was my choice to honor the way I have lived my life until now.

Life is short, love living it and let all the odds be in your favor! Have a good productive day!

 

The Mystery of Life

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Before your lips flutter, 
Words you want to utter, 
Dare you not stutter, 
Think before you open your mouth, 
Think of the birds flying from North to South, 
Think of the whales underwater, 
Think of the life without death for a matter, 
Think and realize before you lose  your breath. 

Watch your words before you speak, 
Don’t be a reason for someone to be weak, 
Don’t hassle and try not to freak, 
You know the truth which they are willing to seek, 
Who says, truth is bitter? 
Prove them wrong and let your smile glitter. 

Birds are a symbol of freedom, 
A reason for the mornings to be cheerful, 
A reason for the sun to be fearless, 
A reason for the earth to be beautiful, 
A reason for the humans to learn to be blissful, 
Teaching the significance of love, unity and the charm to be graceful. 

Water is life, 
A symbol of purity, 
For marine life, an insurance of security, 
Beauty of the oceans and the creatures undiscovered, 
Praise the glory of Nature, 
When every day is a new beginning in the undercover, 
Grab the opportunity where Nature can be your lover. 
 
Death is a mystery, 
Yet life is a puzzle to solve this history, 
As you sow so shall you reap, 
Keep your nose clean while you prepare for the eternal sleep, 
Cherish every morning and the presence of sun, 
Live every moment like it’s your last and the only one. 
 
Wisdom is the daughter of experience, 
Life teaches you step by step on the way, 
Be careful as there’ll be ups and downs as you stray, 
Remain steadfast for you’re a warrior who can’t run away, 
Believe in your heart and soul – forget and forgive everyday. 
 
 

The Random Scribbles…

I lie in my bed,
With the shedding memories which were misread.
I miss your touch and the way you held me,
The reason for my smile is gone for I am free.
I walk out of the door and nobody’s there to pull me in,
Can you just not see there lives a *GIRL* under my skin?

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He respects me,
His efforts always invested for my happiness and glee.
I look here and there to reassure if he is still around,
He shrugs and there is his shy smile to be found.
Beauty is his possession,
For I know, I have made a CONFESSION!

——————————————————————————

You went away,
I waited for there was much to say,
Turn around if there is any way,
Can you hear me shouting – please stay!
This world wont give me a chance to pray,
Can we relive those golden days?
Forgive me, I’m on my knees today,
Leave me the burning scar – remind me to smile everyday!

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Sleepless nights in the cold December,
Loneliness is all what I can remember.
The river of my tears that flowed before your door step,
My insignificant soul meant nothing but an ultimate misstep.
The one embrace I crave for now is,
The arms of death to spare me with bliss.

Passion

Passion – a dominating force.

The sole path escorting through Eternity

Sorrow or bliss credits the global Fraternity

Life’s a cheese cake; yet intricate to enjoy

Beating eggs, whisking flour and freaking sounds annoy

Love cradles my soul; suffering cuddles me

Is there any way out- any pending fee?

I swallow my breath collapsing in the soil

Inviting death after the long-termed toil

My soul enthralls my presence on this transitory abode

Passwords encrypted yet the accomplishments to decode

Passion to survive binds me training for the perilous flight

I crossed the stony beds, thorny deserts and mighty oceans; alas! My bare sight!

Blood implies the ending of my expedition

I lay back saddling my soul with the fire of ambition

Eccentric Voyage Of Life

The feather thus soft, though caresses me hard,
My life is short but the expedition of million yards.

My body’s burly, how about its strength?
Come; get in my shoes to sense the weariness in length.

Rather I supplicate pardon at your doors, my Lord,
My attire’s worn out, my body gashed, stabbing my sins with your sword.

My blood is yellow as that of piddle,
Flowing to signify my sins, concealed as a riddle.

Why am I not apprehending my fault?
Why am I succumbing in this fatal vault?

Halter of a stallion, clasped in my hands,
As fast as I ride, endeavoring to conquer the productive lands.

My dreams are shallow, my heart bears a dark hole,
My soul persuades me to accomplish the past of my role.

My conjectures fail, defeat embraces me in a glance,
However I desire to see the colossal tower for my lost radiance.

Abiding the affliction, my bleeding feet propels the ground back,
The road is smooth but the audacity I lack.

Peace cuddles my soul, love sows new seeds,
Almighty is here to secure me, blessing me with the wisdom of His creed.

My lips are parched, my gaze standstill,
Is this The Glory Of Life I seek everywhere- desserts, forests and hills?

The body slackens its burden, I’m in trance,
Presence of my Almighty, craving every single opportunity for His glance.

My soul enlightens accounting the Heavens,
His commands are my constitution, His contentment my goal.

 

 

 

Perfection Is Imperfection!

Who in the world doesn’t desire perfection? Who in the world could see through perfection? Who in the name of GOD could ever claim anything perfect without knowing the criteria for perfection? The sole question that pops in an individual’s head after reading these questions is “WHAT IS PERFECTION?” What if I say, I have changed the definition of perfection? The dictionary meaning of PERFECTION is “the condition, state, or quality of being free from all flaws or defects” and I term these so called irrevocable, irremediable and irreversible flaws the valid state of perfection.

Life is a short journey, this world is a transitory abode and we serve as an engine to this world contributing in running the mechanism of this vast universe. Everyday, hundreds are embraced by their departure and hundreds are welcomed warmly by the brutal reality of the vivid deceiving colors of this dual universe. This arrival and departure is a tradition – a custom from ages. Everyone has to abandon this ephemeral period, one day or the other. Since we know how one day our soul will descend back to the eternal abode to salvage liberty and freedom (which it is lusting since it was incarcerated in human body), then we ought to be aware of the art of mastering the skills to direct the soul prevailing in the human skeleton according to our very own free-will. The proficiency with which one copes with hypnotizing his soul is, in reality, the Meta-state of PERFECTION.

Hence the equations that have been derived are:

Perfection = Irreversible flaws entertaining experience

Perfection = The capability of directing the captivated soul according to your own free will

Therefore the two equations thus combined, gives the result:

Irreversible flaws entertaining experience = The capability of directing the captivated soul according to your own free will

Hence the derived equation is the desired result for attaining PEREFCTION in this abode. Flaws and errors help you flourish, specifically when they are irreversible, they leave burning scars which are comprehended as the scars of regret by the imprudent masses but usually it is not the fire of regret that is tearing your soul apart but it is the piquant flavor of experience that causes sores on your character so as the matter of fact that you can heal and accumulate wealth of never ending experience within the time it takes for your recovery. Likewise, the concept of scheming the imprisoned soul and directing it on the path of your free-will is one of the victories that is difficult for even saintly people to attain in due time, especially when it is related to this conspiring world. This hypothetically signifies how one does not have to serve the desires taking birth one after the other at the pace of light like a nuclear chain reaction but instead be contented in what he possesses. Therefore if he is pleased enough to rule the verdict of his desires rather than serving them, then he has already attained perfection; the day gluttony and lust is soaked out of the human soul, it becomes a new-born baby possessing the virtues that makes it no less than any perfect embodiment. 

I Wish !!

Flight of a bird high in the sky;
I wish for the wings to vigorously fly.

The hands of the clock moving back and forth submissively;
I wish for the time to be my subservient slave decisively

The voyage of sea exploring the world of sharks and whales;
I wish for the gills to swim unless the exhaustion trails.

Gleaming stars shimmering far above;
I wish for their radiance as flawless as dove.

Lions roar, wolves howl and birds sing;
I wish for the ears to comprehend their ping. 

The speed of light – incredible and flawless;
I wish for the journey at the equivalent pace lawless.

I wish I wish I wish; what is this?
Isn’t CONTENTMENT the sole weapon for lasting bliss?

Humans are forged souls upgrading their wish lists;
Slaves of destiny thumped by their malicious analysis.

 

Layman as a Philosopher!

There lives a philosopher in every being on this planet but it merely depends on your skills to scratch the surface of your heart to mingle with the brain nerves in order to attain that very stern expression on your face with millions of lines across your jawbones, forehead, cheekbones presenting you like a true Zombie; hence before you ever think of evolving yourself into a philosopher from inside, you need a complete MAKEOVER!!

 

The very renown scientists and Philosophers.

On the serious note, I usually wonder how numerous scientists have evolved themselves into philosophers in the later stages of their life when they were done with their part in the world of science. Not only scientists hit this very complicated list of wise men but lovers when get hysterical about their love-life and entwining emotions  evolve into philosophers too. Authors, poets, actors, writers and etc are running at the same pace to bind with a fore mentioned people; hence one who is legendary can continue to bang on with his reputation by giving space to the concealed philosopher buried somewhere deep down within his framed personality. Albert Einstein and Newton did a great job in influencing world partly as philosophers too.

 

The turning edge to the context is that layman is not far behind in this race of “WHO WILL BE AN ULTIMATE PHILOSPHER?” They have a panel of experiences to enrich their soul with the nourishment required to reciprocate the experiences into words that helps them to achieve admiration and honor within a matter of few seconds with the exposure to cyber world and numerous social circles throughout the internet web.

 

Let’s do an exercise. Ignore the literal meaning of “PHILOSOPHY” itself and don’t ask yourself WHAT IS PHILOSOPHY? instead ask yourself WHAT STRATEGY COMPOSES A PHILOSPHER IN EVERY HUMAN BEING? I want to make a mental note over here that we are not talking about Philosophy as a subject but as the rare side of human where he develops the instincts to draw a margin between his interests and responsibilities; hence the composure of a personality to understand and interpret the mechanism of life is the captivating chronicle of concealed philosopher in every human being.

 

Life is all about ups and downs; LEARN from it

Happiness and sorrow have an equal contribution in our life-time. Thus, neither a person can whine for the life span shedding tears and mourning over the account of his misfortune nor can he bloom like a flower for an eternity cradling bliss in his arms like his personal possession. Hence, life is a blend of colors where the darker tones demonstrates grief and sorrow and the brighter tones signifies happiness and delight. This JUST systematic approach of Almighty can be justified by an example involving Mother Nature.  I interpret day as the time when Nature initiates its journey seeking the highest point – the maximum level that is achieved (everyday) by illuminating the world partly (while rest of the world is immersed in darkness). When the maximum level is achieved, the Nature begins its journey to seek the lowest point – the minimum level when it can hide its one fire ball behind horizon and let the other white ball illuminate the sky with the acquaintanceship of sparkling stars. There is a theory behind it; if one tends to comprehend it. Almighty exhibits a rule of REALITY everyday that is Success(bliss) and Downfall(sorrow) are coherent. If success is your destiny today then expect the downfall as your next pre-destined step; hence nobody can claim their life to be “PERFECT”.

 

Life is challenging but NEVER GIVE UP

Happiness makes a man proud of his gestures and actions therefore when hardships hit his shore and thrashes him with the surprise of an examination from Almighty, the same bigheaded man regrets and complains for he never expects the era of happiness wounded by the incoming of his spiritual examination. The patient beings on this planet who centrally believe in HOPE always have a way out – the hope is another terminology for “PHILOSOPHY”. When a man encourages himself under the flag of HOPE mingling his wisdom with the temperament to counter the challenges and examine his will-power, self-determination and spiritual strength, it is the very exact time when he gives birth to the philosopher in himself. The wide range of experiences flavored with his innovations to bear with the given examination is a challenge in itself and his efforts to clear the examination magnificently helps him with his spiritual growth. When he shares the profound meaning of LIFE accompanied by the voice of his SOUL – the thoughts are transformed into a “LAYMAN’S PHILOSOPHY”.