2015 Is Here (Are You Ready?)

It is very difficult for me to believe that 2014 is ‘past’ already. 2015 is here — I need somebody to pinch me. Time has been on a race track for these few years. I can’t believe that England has been my home for around 2 and a half years. I am just a year and a half away from my final destination — ‘I have grown up’. I am still the same girl who likes to pillow fight with my siblings, jump around the house on sofas and beds, live in the thoughts where I can conquer fairy tales and ride on unicorns, sing no matter how I sound and dance to any beat in front of the mirror. I mean, I am twenty but I still feel sixteen. So where have those four years gone? I have matured a lot lately and people around me keep pointing that out but at the end of the day, that kid in me is so much alive. It’s very difficult to even think that ‘I am all grown up’. May be I don’t want to grow up this fast. Anyhow, this is life and growing up is a part of it. Did I say it yet? Well, before I go ranting about my year — Happy New Year!! You readers are my ‘WordPress Family’ and have supported me throughout. I have been seventeen since I have been writing this blog and I have made valuable connections in the span of these three years. I have been going and coming back and have taken long breaks but you all have always been here for me. It’s such a great feeling to share this special bond I share with so many people across the world. You all play a great part in my life and I can’t be grateful enough for your time. All the blogs I read have helped me nurture and learn a lot about life and people. All the beautiful blogs I came across in 2014 and before, thank you for inspiring me and sharing your work. I look forward to see you all in 2015. May you all have a beautiful and blessed year ahead (Amen).

Now about my 2014…

2014 is a very special year for me. It’s the mixture of happiness, sadness, excitement, misery, love, pain, patience and much more. I realized it’s not always about living; sometimes it’s all about surviving. I am very proud to have survived this 2014 which is the most memorable year in my memory book.

It was my first New Years in England without my family. The 2014 New Years was spectacular. Love was in the air and beauty everywhere. I wanted to play with snow but there was none. It still was a great start to an amazing year.

I didn’t make any new friends and I have no regrets about that. I enjoy sparing myself the little time I have from the studies.

I visited my parents in April for around 10 to 15 days and spent my Summer in England. It was one of the most challenging Summer of my life with no fans when there was a very strong need. I bought a tower fan and an air cooler from Argos yet nights were uncomfortable. Regardless, I enjoyed sun to myself knowing I’d miss the sunny days in Winters.

I completed my first year in Law School and scored quite well (although the first year doesn’t contribute towards the degree). I hated Contract Law and always will.

My cooking improved quite a lot. I think it’s a good thing. My favorite dish for the year was ‘Brown Stew Chicken’ (Trinidadian Style).

I moved to a new accommodation in the beginning of July 2014. The place was a studio unlike my last spacious one room apartment. However, I like one fact about the studio that I don’t have to get out of the room to use the toilet (That was irritating).

I finally learnt to play Chess. I am not that good at it (Practice makes perfect) but at least I know I can play it!

This was the first time I watched FIFA tournament! I rooted for underdogs like Costa Rica and Columbia. These two teams made my FIFA experience exhilarating.

2014 was still a lot about ‘Plants vs. Zombies’ and my Zen Garden but I got obsessed with a lot of other games like ‘Ruzzle’ and ‘Golf Star’.

When I left my old accommodation, I had to leave Jade! I miss Jade a lot but every now and then I pay him a visit!

I planned a trip to Euro Disneyland in France, only to realize a day before that I would require a ‘Schengen’ Visa to go to France. I didn’t get any refund and I was very depressed. Well, better luck next time!

My 20th birthday — finally out of teenage years. First ever birthday in England and was worth it.

I saw my first ever rainbow on August 17, 2014. It was so beautiful and it didn’t disappear for until five minutes. It was a delicious treat!

I was addicted to Netflix in 2014. Orange is the new black, Psych, Sherlock, 24, Frasier, Three’s Company and so many more shows. I just couldn’t keep myself away from all this good distraction.

I lost a very special and old friend (my best friend) towards the end of the year (don’t know exactly how). I tried to settle things but the friend had already moved past me.

I came back home for Christmas unlike 2013 Christmas and I will soon be leaving for England again.

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The world experienced a lot of chaos in 2014. Increasing number of ‘Rapes’ and ‘Sexual offenses’ not only in India but across the world; the recent terrorist attack on an Army Public School in Pakistan resulting in the martyrdom of over 100 innocent children; the Gaza incident where hundreds of innocent lives suffered brutality and violence; disappearing and crashing of airplanes; the Ukraine-Russia situation; the formation and barbarity of IS; the outbreak of Ebola in Africa — we can only hope and pray for this world to be a better place in 2015.

Lessons learnt in 2014:

Sometimes, ‘giving up’ is the ultimate solution.

‘Forgetting’ is as important as ‘Forgiving’. One is incomplete without the other.

Merely breathing is not living. Living only happens when you are happy. Other times, you survive.

Heart is your worst enemy. Keep it sane by using your brain.

Love is not about one’s own happiness. It’s about seeing the person you love happy. Thus, love is somewhat-all-about pain.

Anger is healthy to an extent for everything that’s buried deep within can be released. However, draw a line and damages (physical or material) always represent stupidity.

Falling down is what life is all about. Your job is to dust yourself off and get up to prepare yourself for another adventure.

It’s not always about winning or losing. It’s all about how you played the game.

Failure is a stepping stone to your next victory.

Life and Love are two different things. Don’t confuse one with another.

Highlights of 2014:

Word of the year: Love
Strength of the year: Ability to ‘Cry’ and let out the ‘Grief’
Words of Wisdom’ of the year: ‘Divorce and break-ups are an easy way out of the situation; trying to mend what has been broken requires courage and audacity which most of us lack. Anybody can give up but victory belongs to few – those who can conquer the differences with the shield of love and trust in themselves’ – Naima.
Color of the year: Blue
Person of the year: Dumbo
Book of the year: Tell me your dreams – Sidney Sheldon
Song of the year: Heart Wants What It Wants – Selena Gomez
Show of the year: Frasier/Psych (Can’t decide — it’s a tough one)
Best day of the year: September 10 &17, 2014
Worst day of the year: December 11, 2014
Lesson of the year: ‘Forgetting’ is as important as ‘Forgiving’. One is incomplete without the other.
Blessing of the year: Courage
Support of the year: Family
2014 in one word: Ongoing

Let’s have a look at 2014 New-Year’s-Post and if I got through with my goals for 2014:

Reduce the consumption of coke.
[I don’t even remember when was the last time I had coke — hence, Accomplished!]

Give a break to PvZ2!
[I tried but I don’t think I got over Plants Vs. Zombies the way I wanted — Not Accomplished!]

Take time out to travel.
[I will consider it done cause I planned a trip yet something happened and it had to be cancelled; not being able to go to France was very disappointing and depressing but I tried — hence, Accomplished!]

Whenever going back home, say ‘NO’ to Emirates and try different airlines.
[With airplanes crashing and disappearing, my parents became too paranoid to even consider my idea — Not Accomplished!]

Spare my hair some space and grow my bangs.
[Accomplished]

Brush my teeth in night (No excuses – I don’t want all my teeth to fall out at 40).
[I am so proud of myself for this — Accomplished]

Avoid ignoring messages from people and try attending calls (have to stop running away).
[Still trying and I have progressed a lot but not fully satisfied. I think I still end up hurting people by ignoring their messages so I am going to make this again a resolution for 2015 to get even better at it — hence, Not Accomplished!]

Learn to play chess.
[Accomplished]

Forgive & Forget (Forgive part is easy, try to apply the forget part in real life as well).
[Still trying to improve, I mean, not improve my memory. Forgetting is still giving me trouble but I have done a great deal about it and going to keep getting better — hence, I will give it Accomplished! (this was challenging)]

Get closer to Almighty and continue the journey to discover my soul.
[This is an ongoing journey for life but this year I discovered ‘Myself’ on a whole new level; I didn’t realize I was capable of so much until this year — hence, Accomplished!]

Eliminate working-at-the-eleventh-hour-rule from my life.
[This is the only resolution which didn’t get worked upon at all (probably, because its the force of habit) but I will make sure to make this happen in 2015; hence its going on my 2015 resolution list and it’s Not Accomplished]
 

Now, my goals/resolutions for 2015:

Stay ‘happy’ — I ‘should’ be happy and thank Lord for all His Mercy and Compassion.

Become an active volunteer, helping people as best as I can in my spare time.

Not to take long-breaks or disappear from WordPress — I will manage my time even if it is one post a month (although I will try to contribute more than that to this community which has given me so much).

Change myself for the better: be less stubborn, consume balanced diet (especially in England), be more patient with myself, be less selfless (think about myself before others), not be gullible and stop being a ‘hero'(I am not here to save the world or be a ‘Superwoman’ — I am here to just play a part; I can’t save everybody).

Avoid ignoring messages/calls (Communication is the key; hence running away won’t help). I am working on it since last year (I think I am getting better at it).

Be ‘Spiritual’ than ‘Religious’ (I am quite religious already).

Spare some time for my personal fitness — whether it be yoga, self defense or gym.

Avoid being over-optimistic which leads to ‘false-hopes’ and mere consolation. Have a practical approach and go by the rule of ‘Expect the best, prepare for the worst’.

Boost up my self-esteem and be more confident about myself (like before — I have to get back to be the confident and self-assured ‘Naima’).

Start working on my ‘bestselling-novel’ that I always wanted to write.

Eliminate working-at-the-eleventh-hour-rule from my life (I have to really work on this one).

Finally, I have enjoyed reading everybody I follow but there are some blogs that have had a great impact on me and I have loved their work throughout 2014 (or for the little time I could follow them):

Cookie – I personally ‘love’ her blog ‘Calliope’s Lyre’. Her poetry touches the deepest chords of my heart and I can relate to her poetry in so many ways. She is an ultimate inspiration. Her blog is a great find of 2014 for me. She is amazing at what she does and I ‘heart’ her work!! Some of my favorite posts include Aspirations, Within, Dark Mornings, Living By Halves, The Apology, Living Numb, Messages of a Cigarette -XXV- [And many many more].

Cecilia – I absolutely love her blog ‘Mum C Writes‘. It’s informative, raises issues of awareness and the quality of her work (poetry in particular) is phenomenal. I can’t thank her enough for finding me on WordPress because that way I found her beautiful blog. Some of my favorite posts include Breast Milk, When Shame Tames and Optimistic Vibes.

Nadine (The Nadlog) – She is a young, beautiful and a very talented blogger. Her simplicity and positive attitude towards life inspires me. I discovered her blog a few months back and since then I have loved her blog for her bold and positive attitude towards life. I really enjoy her posts but the best ones I remember are Sisters, She drowns and I don’t know about but I’m feeling 22.

Bill – I know this man for a while now. He tells himself as my honorary dad and I absolutely adore him and his wisdom. His blog (bwthoughts) is all about the best things and experiences with a ‘lesson’. His posts (his thoughts) are not too lengthy and superb!! He and his blog has helped me learn so much about life. Discussions with him are fun. I can’t thank him enough for being such a great influence. I loved his recent post Polonius-isms.

Neeraj – This man and his blog (Exposed Emotions) is my personal favorite. I have done poetry-duets with him and I get to learn so much from him. His work inspires me and his enthusiasm is commendable. He is just not a fellow-blogger but a friend as well. The philosophical discussions are a source of learning as well. He recently self-published a poetry book ‘Reverberating Pang: WHEN You Lose Someone You Don’t Own’ which was a great success (I personally loved it). Now, I am looking forward to his new book ‘Together Forever’. Some of his poems that I very much enjoyed include Conclusion, Barefoot, Five Years Later, All Alone, I Can’t Stay Mad At You and I wanna Live (From the Heart of Unborn).

Kim (Silently-Heard-Once) – She is somebody I discovered when I started blogging on WordPress and I have been following her since then. I love her poetry and her courage and enthusiasm to fight every battle. She is an inspiration. I loved her recent posts like A Dip in the Sea, Intimate and Now is Today.

Alastair‘A Mixed Bag’ is a beautiful blog. I love his photography. The posts where he puts up a poll to choose ‘Photo of the Month‘ is a very interesting idea. He makes me want to be a better photographer (Chuckling).

Wendell – ‘Where Words Daily Come Alive‘ is a beautiful blog that I have been following for a while now. It’s all about poetry. I enjoy reading Wendell’s blog and his poetry is always so soothing and inspiring. Some of the posts I like are To Forever Keep and Everywhere I Go.

Renard – ‘Renard Moreau Presents‘ is a great blog! This man writes about everything and anything. If you have been following his blog, you know you will keep yourself updated with everything! His blog is super informative and user-friendly. I can’t name his one post that I like but his ‘Just Pondering‘ blog posts are always interesting!!

Less-About-Love (Diary of a Tight-Lipped Girl) – I like her blog for her bold expression about relationships and sharing her life and thoughts to educate others with her experiences.

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Incredible’s Credibility

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all 

“Once it happened that I was….”

Laura was interrupted by her only little angelic daughter Mary while she was communicating with one of her million fans in the same book shop; where masses have awaited her arrival from a long time since her last book broke the records claiming to be a BESTSELLER with 100,000 copies sold across the world in no time. Everyone wanted to catch a single glimpse of this beautiful saintly lady whose age was all a mystery for the exquisite world but the light lines across her cheeks and under her eyes was evident enough for her not-so-far OLD AGE prepared to embrace her anytime from now. Laura, a journalist and a columnist, working for a well known newspaper in Boston loved to share her world with her readers and so her exclusive attempt on scratching her heart out on paper in the form of a book of 472 pages was proved to be a right decision for a boost up in her career.

”Mum, can I please have your sign too?” Laura laughed her heart out and managed to convince her little angel on the matter of fact if it was okay for her to sign Mary’s home lesson diary once they drove back to home. Lately, after spending an hour or two in the same place in between her admirers, she returned back home, earlier than expected. She possessed warmth and affection for her family and home equal to that of her career and profession. She mastered the skills to balance everything in life hand in hand; there was nothing at all where her expertise had failed. Simply, Laura was a versatile woman who knew she had to jog in the morning, work out in the evening, be punctual at work, respond to her fans in due time, perform house chores and give all her remaining valuable time in the proper upbringing of the little Laura growing up under her nose. The sole reason why her home was yet a home, though being run by a celebrity was, her ultimate struggle to place her family before her promising future. This was the single handed answer to the bliss prevailing in her cozy abode.

She overlooked the lush green plains and vigilantly observed the sun ruling each and every bit of the land bathing the world with its dazzling ray beams addressing the mass about the functional importance of hope in life; which can be bitter or sweet simultaneously. The blue sky appeared like the protecting shield for Mother Earth, the squeaking birds seemed like speaking a valid language which could be deciphered by her and the world felt contracted as if nothing exists but only her home in space where she have to live isolated from the world till eternity. Her imaginary world was erupted once at a sudden when memories broke off in between leaving her body numb and mind hysterical, the past shook her from head to toe which reminded her of the accident that ruined her world partly, snatching away her finest possession and blessing in a heartbeat. She knew that she could never see him again and that they will now meet in Heaven only but there was dark side of her that regretted his departure from this universe leaving her forlorn and bare handed. Laura was thrown back in the present from those brutal memories that haunted her every now and then when she found herself trembling. She moved away from the window and seated herself in an arm chair soothing her pulse so as to regain the peace of mind. Laura, though missed her husband, but at the same time was thankful to Almighty for the everlasting sign of her husband in the form of Mary, she could still feel him compelling her to pursue the path of her desires. Laura sensed anxiety, uneasiness, stress and strain as if something worse was to be happening in near future. She neglected the uprising discomfort ruining her peace of mind and opted to meander more independently leafing through the GOLDEN REGISTERS, recalling her good times and bad times with him. Suddenly her heartbeat quickened and her racing heart shot for the moon when she realized why she was missing him so much. It was HIS day, his birthday, the day when his mother held him in her arms for the first time caressing and stroking him, realizing the gem in her hands she was blessed with. The tranquility and harmony in the room entertained her with his invisible presence, she could feel his hands over hers encouraging her to follow the same pathway leading to the achievement of the desired dreams, she dreamt as an adolescent. She could feel his gaze upon her encouraging her solace splendor, she could feel his lips on her ear lobe whispering how much he loved her and will continue to until FOREVER.

”Mum, mum, mum!!! Are you listening to me?”, Marry cried on the top of her voice.

Laura was set back from the fast track drive of delusion when her daughter applied brakes to the rushing memories dissolving her in the solution of PAST. She smiled when she saw Mary in front of her, the little reporter she had in her home who bombarded her with plenty of questions in a bit of every second.

”Mum, what do you think more often?”

Laura shifted in bed, sitting with an upright posture so that Mary could rest her head in her welcoming lap. Laura stroked her hair trying to hide her trembling hands which merely expressed her distressed state and the inexorable war with her delusions even now, with Mary around her.

”Honey, mum have to think about everything; like you think about school, mum have to think about various things at a time”, Laura said gently.

”But mom, I don’t have to stand by my window to think about school”, Mary answered instantaneously. Laura faked a smile and kissed Mary on her forehead.

”When you will reach my age, these fields will attract you more than a couple of Barbie dolls and stuff toys in your room.”

”Mum, when you were in school, were you a lot famous like today?” Mary asked innocently adjusting herself in the bed.

Laura wondered how her 9 year old daughter makes her speechless with every other question more startling than the previous one.

”No baby, instead I never had friends. No one liked to be around me”, Laura blurted out absently.

”Mum, were they jealous that how you will become a celebrity one day?”

”Hons, its mum’s turn now! How can you frame such questions that relate me to…….”

Before Laura could complete her sentence, her cell phone beeped indicating a text message that reminded her how she had to go to a party today that was kept by her colleagues to celebrate her recent success, the award she got as a best columnist from The Times OF Boston.

”Come on baby, it is time for you to go to bed. You can continue your interview tomorrow, on the way to school, madam”, Laura remarked sarcastically.

This time, both of them laughed hard until they gave up in Mary’s bed where Laura hummed a lullaby and Mary was asleep in the matter of few minutes. Laura wore stunning black attire and just after few minutes she was found in her garage opening the door of the driver seat of her Mercedes and pulling the car on the street and driving all the way to The Resort, the venue of the party!

Apparently, she appeared to be in the state of mere ecstasy but behind the curtains was an explicit sorrow that no one can feel or see except of herself. She felt doomed at times when she had to believe that the man, who vowed to keep her happy for lifetime on 10th February 2001 (their wedding day) was no more in this world to keep the promise he made 11 years back, he was no more to uplift her in the difficult times instead he left her in the midst of life to struggle for owning bliss when she knew that happiness would never open its arms to embrace her cause she had abandoned that path a long time before. She wandered wildly in every bit of her head to explore the reason for the flabby smile she needed to paint on her lips for the world; no one realized how exhausted she was to keep faking the same smile when underneath the thorns clutched her firmly that she succumbed every incoming breath because her heart and soul always contradicted with each other, she was deceiving the entire WORLD.

However, lost in her own world, she lost the control over the convertible and her vision blurred. Within a minute, she had no control over herself as well. Her clammy hands went numb, her legs were trembling and tears were streaming down her eyes. She didn’t stop DRIVING. This time, everything vanished; she did not want to regain her senses and Almighty listened to her. It was very late this time when she realized that her convertible had hit the trunk of a huge tree and blood splashed coloring the windshield red. The bonnet was smashed and the car was totally wrecked from the front, she didn’t lose her conscience by that time. Soon enough she heard a BANG and was thrown out of the car. This warrior lady was still breathing in spite of her face being caked with blood and her dress being all drenched in the same fluid. She smiled, this time genuinely. May be this time, she could see the angels along with Adam. May be this time, she knew she will attain eternal happiness. Laura felt her soul descending for the astral journey when she finally voice her thoughts huffing and puffing, smiling elegantly,

”Thank you, Thank you for making things easier for ME.”

”Granny, did she die?”, John broke the silence.

”Well, I told you the whole story, now you have to think about it dear.”, granny responded sleepily.

Granny walks out of the room, leaving John with Laura’s baffling words echoing in his head which leads him to end up in bed dreaming about a mysterious beginning again, that will be made into a story by granny the following night.