Masterpiece

You were broken when you bumped into me,
With a heart so shattered it needed to heal,
As I breathe life into your soul trying to fix you,
I got diagnosed with love showing symptoms of you,
You preyed on the essence of my soul,
And fed on it to build yourself a world of eternal bliss,
I was left with nothing but emptiness,
It seemed like an abyss of darkness,
Where even light was shadowed with intense blackness,
My senses numbed and my mind so calm,
My heart in pain and my soul so damned,
I remember our first fight,­­­­
And the unforgivable and unforgettable first night,
I remember our first kiss,
And the mornings when I felt fragile, broken and pissed,
I remember the sound of your heartbeat,
And the warmth of your skin when it collided with mine,
So if I told you that you had me only for today,
Then would that be any reason to make you want to stay?
To not hurt me with those lies that make me feel unwanted,
Or will you still be vain and take me for granted?

You told me beautiful lies,
And you didn’t admit to your own disguise,
It’s like you were camouflaged by the truths of life,
I went through hell just to keep us grounded,
Those fears and insecurities weren’t entirely unfounded,
Since I am programmed to survive I let you go,
To push me in the arms of my own doom,
But now that you are gone and I am all alone,
My heart’s beating but I am alive no more,
My mind’s numb but still leads me to you heart,
My soul’s so weary but keeps me from falling apart,
The days have been tough and the nights so rough,
And when it comes to you, I am never good enough,
You were mine just yesterday,
And now you are gone because you just couldn’t see,
A love like ours is a masterpiece,
So while you drift away to free your soul,
I lay captivated within your sorrows and flaws,
So if I told you that you had me only for today,
Then would that be any reason to make you want to stay?
To not hurt me with those lies that make me feel unwanted,
Or will you still be vain and take me for granted?

Superman

He lay there,
With his arms wrapped around her,
Breathing in the scent of her soul,
Calming the raging storms that shook her insides,
Which was sometimes beyond his control,
The disappointments and the regrets,
That had taken their toll over her,
He hushed them one after the other,
While he squeezed her in his arms,
As though to drain out her aching sorrow,
She was scared of failure,
But there was nothing to fear,
When he was there by her side,
Trying his best to absorb all her pain and tears,
Which she couldn’t run away from or hide,
Whether it was a dream or reality,
He was her peace, madness and sanity,
And she knew he would be the one,
To put together the missing pieces of her life,
So as to heal her brokenness and fill the voids,
Whether it was a dream or reality,
She would never stop being his kryptonite,
And he would do all that he could,
To rescue her with or without a plan,
Because he was her Superman,
One who might not know how to fly,
But could put her to sleep every night,
Ensuring her that tomorrow would be alright,
Even after all the years that passed them by,
He never stopped being the Superman he was,
She never stopped being his kryptonite,
And that was how they survived,
Travelling beyond the speed of light,
To defeat the darkness around them.

Don’t Stop Believing

When you think the whole world has turned against you,
Take a step back and don’t stop believing,
Let them say what they think is true,
Imagine the unimaginable and don’t stop breathing,
For there are mysteries waiting to be unravelled,
Make the impossible possible and don’t stop dreaming,
Life will knock you down every now and then,
It is okay to make mistakes,
Failure is the only way to ensure,
That you learn and succeed,
So that indescribable feeling you feel,
When madness embraces you,
To breathe magic into emptiness,
With which you can conquer anything,
Walking on the path towards your destination,
And every time you stumble and fall,
You know you can rise like a phoenix from the ashes,
‘Cause that is how it is supposed to be,
So when you think the whole world has turned against you,
Take a step back and don’t stop believing,
Believe in the miracles and believe in yourself,
Believe that your dreams are worth living,
So while you stand at the edge of the earth waiting to jump,
Your dreams somehow keep you from falling,
Now that you have lived the dark and experienced the light,
Don’t give it all up because you’re tired of trying,
Remember, it’s always worth a try,
Remember, you don’t need wings to fly.

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Diary of Nobody -IX-

I lay in our bed wide awake thinking to myself that this cold night could have been warm if you were by my side with your arm around me. But then I have to get a napkin to spit because it’s not a decent thought especially when you belong to somebody else now. I calm my mind only to begin sobbing later. There are silent tears in the beginning followed by shouting, cursing and crying out loudly within a matter of few seconds. This is a therapy that always seems to work – the louder I cry the better I feel.

I surround myself with the dark of the night and our memories fall into place. I see you carrying me on your shoulders; I see myself feeding you while we watch Netflix; I see you fixing our washbasin taps in the kitchen so I don’t have to deal with washing dishes in the cold water; I see myself dressing you for work. I hear your laughter and it echoes in my head. I cover my ears with both my hands but your laughter doesn’t leave me alone. I smell you in the sheets and in my thoughts. Your scent is invading my sanity. There is a sudden urge for your touch. In my thoughts you can and have only belonged to me. My heart is racing and I need you to hold my hand so you can pull me out of this mess.

I switch on the lights but hesitate to open my eyes. I don’t like the feeling of light accompanying me in this journey tonight but this is the only way to put my thoughts on hold for now. I remind myself of the reality and it makes me furious. I cannot possibly love you after being left behind all by myself because you wanted to make things right by another woman. I am tempted to embrace the dark again but in order to keep my sanity intact; I have to avoid its company tonight.

I pull my coat out of the closet and leave the room. I make my way out of the building and stand at one corner half lost fiddling with a lighter and a cigarette in my hands. I play games in my head second-guessing if I should smoke or not. Reluctantly, I light a cigarette and inhale deeply to fill my lungs with smoke. After few puffs, I waste the cigarette and feel guilty for letting another bad habit conquer my night. So it was you in the dark and now a cigarette in the light. Although comparatively, cigarettes are not as bad for my lungs as you are for my heart.

I am just another hypocrite feeling guilty for smoking but have never felt guilty for loving you knowing that my heart should have stopped beating for you a long while back.

Drowning

When I saw you,
All I saw was guilt,
My past and all the mistakes,
Regrets and doubts that lay awake,
You are drowning,
The weight of lies on your shoulders,
Forbidding you to float,
For you have erred countless times,
Now is when you admit to your crimes,
You are drowning,
In the depth of the ocean,
You are on your own,
In the darkness of isolation,
Finding your way back,
To the world of devastation,
Your humble abode and where you belong,
You are drowning,
You are inhaling water,
You watch death approaching you,
Your thoughts seem to scatter,
You are screaming but your voice so muffled,
You want help but your spirit so unruffled,
You are drowning,
Your eyes began to close,
Your body began to froze,
The little I know about how it goes,
The window of hope barely visible,
The noise of silence only grows,
You are drowning,
With a fear of no tomorrow to be seen,
With a fear of turning off your life machine,
Dreading that there might be no light at the end of the tunnel,
Dreading that there might be no peace but only uninvited trouble,
You are drowning,
So will you ask for a second chance?
Will you ever want to live again?
Will you want to give in to this world’s trance?
Will you want for yourself the pleasure of pain?
You are drowning,
Don’t be scared of death for it’s merely a trailer,
Life has been killing you bit by bit every single day,
Don’t be scared of the ultimate failure,
There are times when it is inevitable to escape.

Them Versus Us

The knots in my stomach,
The lump in my throat,
Their false-promises,
The cruel way they gloat,
So I wonder how can they not feel stress and anxiety?
So I wonder how can they let themselves be another causality of the society?
So I wonder how can they sleep at night knowing that people are dying of starvation?
So I wonder how can they ignore the ongoing conflicts and brutality?

As I pace back and forth,
Searching for an answer,
As I continue to live like this,
The suppression of free speech,
Eating me away like cancer,
So I wonder how can they not want peace in reality?
So I wonder how can they not try to eradicate poverty and inequality?
So I wonder how can they be socially blind?
So I wonder how can they ignore the suffering of mankind?

I follow through the dark,
Searching for the glimpse of light,
The hunger for change,
Holding onto hope,
For the pitch-black night to shine so bright,
We don’t have to listen to their lies anymore,
We have the power to set a vision,
Ultimately leading us to our mission,
So I wonder why do we blame them when we can be stronger on our own?
So I wonder why do we not unite and fight our battles as one?
So I wonder why do we hesitate to take action when we know we should?
So I wonder why do we not rescue humanity by moulding bad into good?

The Night

The night is the time,
When I can crawl out of bed,
Shut off the voices inside my head,
Escape the pain, grief and blinding lightness,
Seek refuge in the shade of darkness,
I feel the fire burning deep within,
Helping me be pure of sin,
I watch myself in the mirror,
Struggling to look beyond the apparent flaws,
Can my imperfections magically disappear?
The silence keeps me company,
I slowly drift off to sleep,
Before the dawn is beginning to peep,
So I can wake up again the following night,
Treat myself off the starry dark delight.

Day 2: 20 Facts About Me

So its Day 2 for the ‘Blogging Challenge’ and here we go with the 20 facts about me (I hope there’s no repetition of Introduction from the last post):

1) I am a very loving person. So loving that I don’t think I have the capability to hate or hurt anybody because I can’t stop caring for ‘others’ regardless of their attitude towards me.

2) I am a helpless romantic. It’s all about fairy-tales and happy endings in my book. Everything has to end well or otherwise its not the end!

3) ‘Expect the best and prepare for the worst’. For me, it’s the rule of life. I always expect too much of everything and from everyone (not really sure if I prepare for the worst though).

4) I am all about sincerity and loyalty although I am usually taken advantage of for the little I can/do offer.

5) I have a bad temper.

6) I am quite possessive but I never express it. Although I don’t get possessive about everything, it has to reach a certain level for me to have that sense of ownership to feel the ‘possessiveness’.

7) I will always sacrifice even with/for the wrong person, I seem to think that it’s my responsibility to play the greater part in every role of life.

8) I can forgive in an instant but it will take me an eternity to forget.

9) I tend to depend more on good memories which is a good thing and a bad thing.

10) I am not fond of make up or fashion but I prefer to look presentable (I don’t like shopping at all).

11) I am very particular about hygiene that sometimes I feel like I might have developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

12) A good cologne can catch me anywhere and anytime.

13) I don’t talk a lot (reserved but not shy) but it’s taken for me being arrogant, stuck-up, rude and proud.

14) Girls seem to stare at me a lot and run away from me, the reason has always been a mystery.

15) I always learn a lesson the hard way.

16) I want to be a bestseller author one day or an award-winning screenwriter (I want to be known for my writing).

17) I am a loud person but only those close to me (very close) will know.

18) Lately, I have been developing love for dark (‘darkness’).

19) I have a passion for learning to dance, sing and play guitar. I feel like a pop-star and that’s why I dance and sing around the house regardless but I’d love to be trained one day and become a rock-star for real (may be just for my mirror).

20) I am very self-assured and well-aware of my strengths and weaknesses. Although, it’s taken for me being self-obsessed.

Until tomorrow, Live, Love, Inspire & (don’t forget to) Smile. Believe in yourself and you can conquer all your fears.

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Photo Source: https://www.google.com/images

Dark Days Are Gone!

Memories of you stuck in my head
I cursed myself for its difficult to shred our thread
Why did you leave me on my own?
How can you pretend to be unknown?
But baby sun shines after every dark night
You may be one in the million and I blame my sight
I wont beg you for any chance, I know I am right
The truth in my eyes will rewrite my love story – the highest flight
So wait for the day when I get back to you
Get back to you to show you what I’ve got
A man of my dreams, my soul mate for a shot
You’ll be jealous and I’ll hit the right spot
So wait baby wait until I get back to you….

You complained how I snored in the bed?
Or how I slept when you talked and talked instead
Did it give you the right to smack me down?
Who were you to complain when I frowned?
Baby, have a look at your cold blue eyes
They said it all despite of my unworthy tries
So wait for the day when I get back to you
Get back to you to show you what I’ve got
A man of my dreams, my soul mate for a shot
You’ll be jealous and I’ll hit the right spot
So wait baby wait until I get back to you….

My heart still beats on the rhythm of your name
My soul calls out loud for freedom – its untamed
Baby would you let me know my blame?
Oh shame, if I have been too lame
Too lame to forgive you over again
You bruised me everyday to fulfill your aims
Pardon baby, no more love coming your way
My heart will give up on you someday
So wait for the day when I get back to you
Get back to you to show you what I’ve got
A man of my dreams, my soul mate for a shot
You’ll be jealous and I’ll hit the right spot
So wait baby wait until I get back to you….

 

BETRAYAL (Part II)

Seeing is not believing,
Believing is not feeling.

As I heard him declaring his departure

He shot an arrow as miraculously as an archer

Listening to his bizarre words, I was on my knees

Possessed no strength to hear, smell, touch or see

I watched him parting in the dark rainy night

Wishing a final goodbye with a vivid smile radiating light

I strolled home single-handedly weeping and crying

His words stuttered in my mind – my tears complying

My mum awaiting me at the home’s door

Disguising the ache, the veil of bliss that I wore

She asked me where was I?

I sighed and told her a lie

How can I tell her it was a lad?

Who deceived and took everything I had?

My numb body directing my senses to the way to my room

Thoughts ruled my mind and soul – this appalling doom

I cursed myself for being in love as a dope

There was no rainbow after this rain, no bliss and no hope

He left me for the sake he was done

Likewise, he is going to find another one

He is a traitor, a betrayer and a player

Thus ruled my heart for an eternity as a mayor

Depression and distress was now the food to my soul

I salute him for his significant triumph to attain his desired goal

One day when no one was in the house

I clasped a knife due to that louse

To Be Continued…

Betrayal – Part I