Autumn and Spring

She paused. He resumed. She was speechless. He offered explanations. She expected the best. He prepared for the worst. She was ignorant. He reciprocated kindness. She was the aura of Autumn. He believed her to be the glory of Spring. In this delusional world of calamity and hypocrisy, she knew he’d bow down to her altar every single day with faith in his heart, desire in his soul, light in his eyes and a prayer on his lips. She knew him to be an absolute non-believer before he began worshipping her inevitably invincible flaws. While he was merely a sculpture made from clay and sent to Earth, it was her that breathed life into his soulless existence. She was his religion, his temple and the dawn of hope serving as an anchor for his bruised soul drenched in sin and sorrow.

She thought to herself if the Lord would detest her for letting His creation believe in the apparent mightiness of another flawed being. However, her demons roared louder than the voice of her conscience, “Didn’t the Lord Himself proclaim that those who worship others do so albeit in an improper way?”

He had unknowingly found the will of his heart while she had found yet another prey.

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The taste of love, I tell you, is lethal.


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Damaged Beauty

He was terrified of loving her,
Not her flawless smooth skin,
Or her bright crimson eyes,
The silken texture of her luscious lips,
He was afraid of the storms inside her,
The disasters which made her a breathtaking mystery,
The irresistible and impossible work of art she was,
And if he was to shed all her skin down,
So he could try to peek inside her soul,
As though to admire the perfection he would see,
The light beyond the shadows of her physical appearance,
He feared to admit to himself,
That she was beautifully damaged,
But like the rest, he was scared to unravel,
The mysteries that were woven into the basis of her existence,
He was tempted to experience love in its best form,
Nonetheless he was afraid to tame the storms roaring inside of her,
He was scared to let go of his desires and transform,
His fear into a superpower to be able to see through her,
And hopelessly fall in love with her beautifully scarred heart.

damaged beauty


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Self Deception

She was broken. Her brokenness wasn’t terminal but she assumed the damage to be fatal.  She believed that she had no choice and she confided in the only option available to her: breathing. She gave up on her dreams and began fighting this brutal world for the mere sake of survival. Every day was a struggle and eventually she didn’t care if she won or lost. She was trying her best to figure a way to survive but she didn’t bother living her precious dreams. She didn’t blame anybody but herself because it was her choices that led her to live a life which was apparently just a lie.

There was not much left to her existence. She was a moving pile of bones obliged to put up a show for the world to ensure the spectators that she was not odd – that she was one of them. This was another of her many choices: to shake hands with her demise. It didn’t take her long to skilfully master the art of faking (i.e. living a lie) which was an essential requirement to be accepted in her new world. Her mind was constantly occupied with what people thought of her and she moulded herself into an object of desire. Not too long after, she became oblivious to the distinction between the truth (real) and a lie (fake) and her plan ‘to fool the world and survive’ backfired. She was caught fooling herself.

There was no hope left anymore. Although she was breathing but she had given up on life long time ago. Precisely when did she give up? She didn’t give up when she felt broken but she gave up when she fell victim to the trap of this world. Firstly, when she succumbed to the appalling torture of allowing herself to be judged and secondly when she lived to feed off the need for approval. She was not meant to live a life by merely blindly following the rules written in the book but instead she chose to not use the higher powers of her mind and spirit to evaluate and challenge those rules to better herself and the world.

While she could have been the change, she chose to refuse herself the opportunity of healing this world. She chose to refuse herself the right to dream and live for herself. She chose to give in to social pressure. However, she is not alone. There are many out there like her and these souls don’t even realize when they have stopped living for themselves for they fail to see the strength of their vision and the power in their action.

SD


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The Power of Now

There was a lot he could do,
With the time on his hands,
The clock was ticking away,
This life was passing him by,
Day after day and he never asked why,
He sinned every day hoping to be forgotten,
He sinned every day hoping to be forgiven,
He bullied the black girl in the class,
So he could have a good laugh,
He always looked down upon his fellows,
As if they were weak and inferior,
While he thought of himself as invincible and superior,
The allure of power, wealth and reputation enticed him,
So he lied, bribed, cheated and promoted,
The game of corruption he loved playing,
He had been lead to believe,
That the reality of the world was superficial,
No more did he desire the true happiness,
No more did he appreciate the beauty of truth,
Busy accomplishing the life in his hands,
He forgot to understand that death was inevitable,
Peace was nowhere to be found in his heart and soul,
He lost his way to home,
So he spent his life chasing after the desires of the flesh,
He forgot that his spirit also needed to be fed,
The time slipped away,
Each tomorrow was just another passing day,
He managed to accumulate everything to be supposedly wealthy,
But how come he never felt bliss,
“Because you fail to see the power of truth, peace, light and love”,
His inner voice revealed the reason,
He mocked and laughed at its foolishness,
And took pride in his choices,
After few years, when Death stood before him,
It asked him what had he done to better this world,
His mind didn’t know any answers,
So his inner voice spoke yet again,
“He failed to see the power of truth, peace, light and love”,
The riches that have been accumulated over the years,
They couldn’t accompany him in the other world,
And that is when he realized,
He wasted his lifetime chasing after the glitches of this life,
But nothing could be done no more,
He drifted too far from the shore,
And now time has closed its doors.

One Day..

One day you will feel my pain,
Burning underneath your skin,
One day you will feel my desires,
Aching within the core of your heart,
One day you will feel my energy,
Growing inside you,
One day you will feel my perseverance,
Easing your burdens,
One day you will feel my tears,
Wiping away the oceans of your sorrow,
One day you will feel my angels,
Conquering your demons,
One day you will feel my love,
Silencing your doubts,
One day you will feel what I have felt all along,
But until then, I will hope you know the way back home.

Desire

Forever and now, the lips are sealed,
Words uttered are merely a pass in the air,
Forever and now, the hearts bleed,
Actions done are merely another sacrifice to bear,
Now or never, you decide,
Flip or turn, we have tried,
False hopes but the truth’s divide,
In the quest for a cure but my hollow insides,
I feel wanderlust, consumed and denied,
These open wounds couldn’t heal unless love is by my side,
The emptiness fills my soul with pleasure every once in a while,
The solitude strangles my demons striving to attain ecstasy,
I paint this world with a single stroke of a shy smile,
Distance can keep us apart but my love travels every day mile for mile,
Seldom the darkness crawls in blurring our vision,
Wounding us with the sword of our decisions,
Our fears are the rivals in this love-battle,
Let’s break away from the worldly shackles,
While all these years your love has only lifted me higher,
You have me wondering if you are the only dream I truly desire.

The Connection of My Soul with Evil

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Across the shore, behind the rocks,
My wounded heart strangled in sinful locks.

I stretch my arms wide to embrace the globe,
The grief of denial – the soft whisper fondles my ear lobe.

The significance of my subsistence is fairly explained,
I wandered bare foot; my liberated soul detained.

The hustle bustle to seize the life’s train overwhelms me;
The horizon caresses my sight compelling me to flee.

Sorrow and distress soothes my soul;
Longing for agony performs a mighty role.

Blissfulness is neither my aim nor my consent;
Desires dwelling in my heart are slaughtered – twistedly bent.

The intoxicating air bruises my free will;
However leaving the world behind; my fingers feel the top-most hill.

Confessing my sins sanctifies me with a new life;
My soul is naked – transgressions excited to slash me with a knife.

The evil is tempted by the nobility of nakedness;
Thus wrapping the new-born soul in the garb of wickedness.

Several births in this world may not feed the soul with goodness;
Hence this world is the abode of evil upholding darkness and blindness.

 

Betrayal (Part III)

Let me cry,
Let everybody spy.

The empty house compelling me to commit a sin

The burning scars appealing hindered pain under my skin

The dagger in my hand – I desired to bleed

Thus excreting the organic fluid to feed my soul with creed

The unwavering will to slash my wrist

Eradicating the memories behind the mist

His face pressed against the walls of my brain

The smell of his body intriguing my soul again

He is yet a sweet memory – I can’t blame him

How can I forget our first kiss under the moon lit dim?

I am into pieces again – pleading myself to forget and forgive

My heart aches in the quest for our moments to commemorate and relive

His virtual appearance holding me close together

Hence I am nothing better, just an old rotting feather

His reminiscences surpassed me to hand the dagger again

“Let’s do it”, recalled my hasty brain

I was on the verge to gash my wrist for the blood to flow

Flow like a thrusting ocean to manifest what’s there to show

The stamina summoned when a thought clicked

Why such an audacious choice for my family cause of a vicious convict?

I threw the knife onto the ground

Sobbed and wept unless I heard a sound

As I heard the sound, I dashed to my room

Washed my face, managed to be in bed without a BOOM!

He ruled my thoughts persistently declaring his reign over me

We vowed to love each other forever with glee

Did he forget his commitment even before the war started?

Did he intend to make me bleed with suffocation and misery faint-hearted?

To Be Continued…

Betrayal – Part I

Betrayal – Part II

Eccentric Voyage Of Life

The feather thus soft, though caresses me hard,
My life is short but the expedition of million yards.

My body’s burly, how about its strength?
Come; get in my shoes to sense the weariness in length.

Rather I supplicate pardon at your doors, my Lord,
My attire’s worn out, my body gashed, stabbing my sins with your sword.

My blood is yellow as that of piddle,
Flowing to signify my sins, concealed as a riddle.

Why am I not apprehending my fault?
Why am I succumbing in this fatal vault?

Halter of a stallion, clasped in my hands,
As fast as I ride, endeavoring to conquer the productive lands.

My dreams are shallow, my heart bears a dark hole,
My soul persuades me to accomplish the past of my role.

My conjectures fail, defeat embraces me in a glance,
However I desire to see the colossal tower for my lost radiance.

Abiding the affliction, my bleeding feet propels the ground back,
The road is smooth but the audacity I lack.

Peace cuddles my soul, love sows new seeds,
Almighty is here to secure me, blessing me with the wisdom of His creed.

My lips are parched, my gaze standstill,
Is this The Glory Of Life I seek everywhere- desserts, forests and hills?

The body slackens its burden, I’m in trance,
Presence of my Almighty, craving every single opportunity for His glance.

My soul enlightens accounting the Heavens,
His commands are my constitution, His contentment my goal.

 

 

 

Perfection Is Imperfection!

Who in the world doesn’t desire perfection? Who in the world could see through perfection? Who in the name of GOD could ever claim anything perfect without knowing the criteria for perfection? The sole question that pops in an individual’s head after reading these questions is “WHAT IS PERFECTION?” What if I say, I have changed the definition of perfection? The dictionary meaning of PERFECTION is “the condition, state, or quality of being free from all flaws or defects” and I term these so called irrevocable, irremediable and irreversible flaws the valid state of perfection.

Life is a short journey, this world is a transitory abode and we serve as an engine to this world contributing in running the mechanism of this vast universe. Everyday, hundreds are embraced by their departure and hundreds are welcomed warmly by the brutal reality of the vivid deceiving colors of this dual universe. This arrival and departure is a tradition – a custom from ages. Everyone has to abandon this ephemeral period, one day or the other. Since we know how one day our soul will descend back to the eternal abode to salvage liberty and freedom (which it is lusting since it was incarcerated in human body), then we ought to be aware of the art of mastering the skills to direct the soul prevailing in the human skeleton according to our very own free-will. The proficiency with which one copes with hypnotizing his soul is, in reality, the Meta-state of PERFECTION.

Hence the equations that have been derived are:

Perfection = Irreversible flaws entertaining experience

Perfection = The capability of directing the captivated soul according to your own free will

Therefore the two equations thus combined, gives the result:

Irreversible flaws entertaining experience = The capability of directing the captivated soul according to your own free will

Hence the derived equation is the desired result for attaining PEREFCTION in this abode. Flaws and errors help you flourish, specifically when they are irreversible, they leave burning scars which are comprehended as the scars of regret by the imprudent masses but usually it is not the fire of regret that is tearing your soul apart but it is the piquant flavor of experience that causes sores on your character so as the matter of fact that you can heal and accumulate wealth of never ending experience within the time it takes for your recovery. Likewise, the concept of scheming the imprisoned soul and directing it on the path of your free-will is one of the victories that is difficult for even saintly people to attain in due time, especially when it is related to this conspiring world. This hypothetically signifies how one does not have to serve the desires taking birth one after the other at the pace of light like a nuclear chain reaction but instead be contented in what he possesses. Therefore if he is pleased enough to rule the verdict of his desires rather than serving them, then he has already attained perfection; the day gluttony and lust is soaked out of the human soul, it becomes a new-born baby possessing the virtues that makes it no less than any perfect embodiment.