Free Falling

You continue to drag me down,
This path of deceit and lies,
You continue to hold me down,
Dominating my thoughts with your shuttered eyes,
You continue to hurt me,
Compelling me to live in the glory of our past,
You continue to surprise me,
The audacity to say ‘I love you’ when you couldn’t make it last,
So I’m free falling,
We can create our own destiny,
We can have a life in the garden of our dreams
You and I can be the perfect team,
So just take a chance,
Free fall along with me,
Breathe in the freedom of a fearless glance,
An escape to our paradise for an eternal romance.

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Numb

The drunken nights,
My red swollen eyes,
Crying and sobbing,
So I can finally sleep,
So I can finally dream,
The life which cannot be my reality,
The love which cannot belong to me,
The freedom to escape the sufferings of mortality,
The quest for my long-lost stability,
Ever since we’ve been apart,
You always seem to bring my heart,
The torment and torture of false-hope,
An everyday struggle with which I cannot cope,
So I am going to get high tonight,
It’s no longer required to put up a fight,
Lately I have been so numb to the pain,
It’s exciting to be alive again.

You build me up to break me down,
You tear me apart from the inside,
Left me in the raging flames of vengeance to drown,
You knew in your heart that you never tried,
To look beyond the horizon of self-pride,
How can you fail to see?
You cannot turn me into somebody you want me to be,
How can you not know?
I’m hurt but it is never going to show,
I’m too strong to be defeated,
Now that it’s all said and done,
I’ve never felt more completed,
So I am going to get high tonight,
It’s no longer required to put up a fight,
Lately I have been so numb to the pain,
It’s exciting to be alive again.

Wonderland

He held her hand,
Invited her to his wonderland,
She didn’t know how,
If after all these years he could allow,
A stranger in the creation of his mind,
Now that they shared one path to freedom,
They were lost for a reason,
They walked in silence,
Their eyes spoke volumes,
She didn’t let go of his hand,
The creator of their Wonderland.

They paved their way to Paradise,
Their endless journey of sacrifice,
He pushed away all his dreams,
She embraced his pain with her self-esteem,
Now that they shared one path to freedom,
Their worlds collided for a reason,
They walked for miles and miles,
Not a word uttered but their beautiful smiles,
She didn’t let go of his hand,
The creator of their Wonderland.

Their love grew with time,
Their desire to live together never died,
Differences was a part of their climb,
They had their reasons to question life,
They shared one path to freedom,
Love built them up for a reason,
They are old and fragile now but they keep walking,
They listen to the sound of silence in bliss but no talking,
They didn’t let go of each other’s hand,
The sustainers of the Wonderland.

Diary of Nobody -III-

I am trying to sleep. Insomnia is not exactly good for my eyes; the eyes you liked so much. You remember when the other day we were by the Subway and the lady who was preparing our sandwiches told you that you were very lucky to wake up next to somebody like me every day whose smile could enlighten anyone’s day. She kept going on about how beautiful our couple was and bestowed us with her blessings. I liked that lady. You usually used to pretend to be upset with me for taking all the compliments. You were quite an actor; even better with your sense of humor. Anyway, we actually were quite a good-looking couple. We would have made the world jealous.

At this time of the night, I am hooked up on our very first and last public-display-affection (we both liked to keep our business private otherwise). You had your flight next day and we were shopping for your family. It was snowing and it was dead cold. Usually in the romantic-comedies, that would have been the perfect timing for the spicy romance. However, in reality the couples are just trying to keep each other warm; nobody have the guts to think about romance when their brains are freezing. We were waiting on the cab in the city-center. You held my left hand tightly and put it in the pocket of your coat (Warning: It was what you used to do when you would hear my teeth chattering from the extreme cold. I never misunderstood this gesture for romance because I knew it was just your way of keeping my fingers from going numb). Well, the cab didn’t show up for quite a while and you rang the cab service again to hear the very same response that the car was on the way.

I don’t know what got into you after you hung up the phone. You held me in your arms and kissed me on my lips for quite a few seconds. The shocker is that I kissed you back. You sealed the kiss with a very silent ‘I love you’. For that one moment, I didn’t realize that there was anybody around us. I thought we were in our home and you kissed me. I mean, for those few seconds, I forgot I was standing in the middle of the city-center and there might be people watching us. When after a minute or so, I realized that we had finally kissed in public, I was absolutely blown away. To tease me further, you kissed me all over again. Thankfully, our taxi was there after a couple of minutes or I don’t know what other things would have happened for the first time in your first snowfall with me.

Can you lull me to sleep?
Will you sing me a lullaby?
I need your arms to be my pillow,
Tonight for a change, let me not weep.

LOVE (Valentines Special)

Love is a four letter word,
It can not describe my feelings for you,
The emotions buried deep down,
The warmth I feel when you’re around,
The tenderness of your hands — your touch,
The affection with which you watch me blush,
The fondness in your eyes when I dress you for work,
The passion burning wild within us,
All of this and much more,
I miss your laughs and the way you snore,
I miss your kisses and the quirky smile I adore,
Come back to me baby, I can’t take this anymore.

I hope you all had a lovely, romantic and a beautiful Valentines! Just a reminder, don’t declare one day as in 14th February for expressing love to your loved ones — do it as often as possible.

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My sister posing with her new ‘I Love You’ teddy bought by my dad for her. Happy Valentines ❤


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Filling In The Spaces -V-

You want to know what is love?

Even after knowing that you want/need to be with another woman, I will roll your jockeys in the boxers and fold them just the way I saw you doing it for the first time we moved in together. I will fold your socks just the way you like it (knotted and tucked in) and I will cook your favorite meal even when you’re not around. Your over sized grayish T-shirt is still the most worn garment in my wardrobe and your shaving kit still lies in the same place you last left it although you haven’t returned home for a while now.

My eyes are soaking wet but I am still busy thinking if you are doing okay and if you are eating well. I am still worried if you have gotten to work at time and that if you are frustrating too much to mumble. I can’t stop caring. It’s all about ‘giving’ in my book. They say love is selfish but love has taught me to be selfless. I have forgotten to think about myself since I have known you.

I will call you my love but you’d call yourself my obsession. 

Day 10: What’s your best physical feature?

Well, I really can’t point out at one ‘best’ physical feature because the combination of every feature makes me what I look like and I think I look quite good (I like to believe that at least).

If the question would have been what physical feature I get most complimented for then I’d say my smile and eyes. I wear gray contacts and usually people are mistaken to believe that it’s the original color of my eyes until I clear that out to them (if I get asked). Other than that, since I have been a child, my parents and I get complimented a lot for my smile. The teachers in my school would tell my parents that they’d look forward to greet me and see me smile although I don’t get what it is about my smile because smile is supposed to be the same for everybody. So yeah, that’s what ‘people’ think while I can’t choose for myself my best physical feature.

Until again, Live, Love, Inspire & (don’t forget to) Smile. Believe in yourself and you can conquer all your fears.

Time Bomb

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You took my breath away,
Left me gasping for more and more,
The starvation in your eyes hunts me like its prey,
The shifting burden of pain in my core.

Your gaze pierces through me like its a laser,
I am burning up and getting drunk on your lies,
Your touch is tender yet it feels like a taser,
I am falling apart and surviving your lows and highs.

Pull me close or let me go,
Don’t leave me hanging through this fall,
Burn me in your passion or let us blow,
I am a time bomb ready to explode.

You feast on the thought of our ‘Forever’,
It’s incredible how you celebrate our doom with me,
You stab the virtue in its back with your endeavors,
How fortunate you are to have me begging on my knees.

Your soul feeds on my cherry lips,
I am loud in silence and getting your stains off my skin,
Your heart seizes my mortality for it knows the love in my blood can drip,
I am living the best at my worst and the worst at my best for all my sins.

Pull me close or let me go,
Don’t leave me hanging through this fall,
Burn me in your passion or let us blow,
I am a time bomb ready to explode.


Photo Credits: https://www.google.com/images

Double Standard

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It’s not hurt that conquers my heart but it’s you. I am what my past has made me and it’s all about you – it’s all about us. The pain that comes with being a part of you is somewhat enchanting. I find my comfort in your arms. I seek my love in your eyes. I recognise myself in the purpose of your existence. It’s unbelievable that you will play a double standard game but then after all you are one of your kind – unpredictability is in your blood.

I can breath you in all day long. I can feed on the curves around your lips forever. I can watch myself in the depth of your eyes for every second left of my life. I can forgive you but not forget you. I can love you but not leave you. I can please you even at the expense of who I am but you won’t see, you won’t listen and you won’t even understand. All that I was and all that I have become is to you just another pawn in your double standard game.


Photo Credits: https://www.google.com/images

For a second, I thought I lost you. Your fingers let go of my hand and your pulse plays hide and seek with me. Your eyes are shut and your face is calm as if angels have already arrived. Suddenly, I hear you mumbling..

‘Mitsy, please don’t leave me‘.

I don’t know what to do, I feel powerless, as if I am shackled in chains of self destruction. How can I let you go when you have asked me not to?

‘Darling, I am right here’, I whispered.

You hold my hand as tightly as you can but I feel nothing. Your eyes are teary but you wouldn’t say a word. Of course, you and your feminine strength! But I know, beneath this Iron Lady of mine, there is my little chunky bear who is crying and hurting and I cannot do anything about it.

‘You ate anything?’, you struggled to speak.

‘Shush, don’t you speak! You worry too much’, I smiled.

I vowed to you on our wedding day that I will be there by your side forever and will catch every one of your teardrop before it lands on your cheek. Now for the first time I have failed to fulfil my vow. As I see a teardrop moistening your cheek, I scoop it gently with my finger before it dissolves in your skin. I feel like a criminal in my own body. You are not supposed to break like this. One after the other, each day is draining you out and as much as I want to take you away from all this, I cannot. It’s difficult to believe that humans like us can become this vulnerable and incapable that we have to give up to nobody but ourselves – our very own body.

I feel sick to my stomach watching these doctors fiddle with your body like a mechanic would with an automobile. I am watching you while these doctors are trying to understand your body. Your body is complex and functions differently than mine. It is attacked by those microscopic things called germs. As a child, I always thought of these germs as a creation of the imagination of Science. Perhaps, now I stand corrected. Doctors tell me that the germs attacking you are not ordinary germs we might be affected by if we don’t take care of our hygiene. Instead they are pretty dangerous; deadly enough to change the will of your body. Now, as your body and germs fight as one, so must our spirits in this battle for life.

While these doctors are trying to do their job, you are peaceful like angels have taken you away from me. For a second I think I have lost you all over again but it’s the story of my life. Your disease is draining the life out of your system and watching you come and go is draining mine.