Diary of Nobody -III-

I am trying to sleep. Insomnia is not exactly good for my eyes; the eyes you liked so much. You remember when the other day we were by the Subway and the lady who was preparing our sandwiches told you that you were very lucky to wake up next to somebody like me every day whose smile could enlighten anyone’s day. She kept going on about how beautiful our couple was and bestowed us with her blessings. I liked that lady. You usually used to pretend to be upset with me for taking all the compliments. You were quite an actor; even better with your sense of humor. Anyway, we actually were quite a good-looking couple. We would have made the world jealous.

At this time of the night, I am hooked up on our very first and last public-display-affection (we both liked to keep our business private otherwise). You had your flight next day and we were shopping for your family. It was snowing and it was dead cold. Usually in the romantic-comedies, that would have been the perfect timing for the spicy romance. However, in reality the couples are just trying to keep each other warm; nobody have the guts to think about romance when their brains are freezing. We were waiting on the cab in the city-center. You held my left hand tightly and put it in the pocket of your coat (Warning: It was what you used to do when you would hear my teeth chattering from the extreme cold. I never misunderstood this gesture for romance because I knew it was just your way of keeping my fingers from going numb). Well, the cab didn’t show up for quite a while and you rang the cab service again to hear the very same response that the car was on the way.

I don’t know what got into you after you hung up the phone. You held me in your arms and kissed me on my lips for quite a few seconds. The shocker is that I kissed you back. You sealed the kiss with a very silent ‘I love you’. For that one moment, I didn’t realize that there was anybody around us. I thought we were in our home and you kissed me. I mean, for those few seconds, I forgot I was standing in the middle of the city-center and there might be people watching us. When after a minute or so, I realized that we had finally kissed in public, I was absolutely blown away. To tease me further, you kissed me all over again. Thankfully, our taxi was there after a couple of minutes or I don’t know what other things would have happened for the first time in your first snowfall with me.

Can you lull me to sleep?
Will you sing me a lullaby?
I need your arms to be my pillow,
Tonight for a change, let me not weep.

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Diary of Nobody -II-

Today I woke up with a pain in my chest, mainly on the left side. You must have been missing me. Does she not take care of you like how I used to? Does she not put your clothes out on the bed while you are in the shower so you don’t have to fish through the cupboard? Does she not prepare breakfast for you before you have to leave for work? Does she even know that you love to eat vegetable-cheese omelette in the breakfast? Does she know that you are allergic to any kind of household work? Does she love you the way I do?

You remember when the first time we moved in together, you told me to never toast bread in the toaster for you. You always liked to make toasts on the pan. I would grease the pan with butter and then spread butter on both sides of the bread and make a golden brown toast for you. You would get annoyed if the corners of the toast were burnt but when I would offer to make another one, you’d always refuse and tell me that you enjoy the crispy corners. I would smile to myself and think that you were the most terrible liar I knew. Over the time, I learnt that if I had burnt the toast, I should make a new one without asking you. You were all about formalities although eventually you would agree for what you want but formalities were necessary in your book of code and conduct. You had to pretend to care to make me feel good and once you were done making me feel special, you’d be like, ‘You’re the wife, know your role.’ I could never stop laughing after that.

The omelette was your favorite in the breakfast (of course with lots of chopped green chillies and red chilli flakes). You always liked it if I would not break the omelette on the pan while flipping it. With time, I mastered that art and I thought of myself as the best omelette chef in the world. You loved my cooking. When I would bring our breakfast in the room; you would once in a while surprise me with a clean and tidy bed. You knew I had a thing for the bed. I always wanted the bed to be made and be clean and tidy. However, you wouldn’t always do it. Your idea was that when I expected it, it shouldn’t be done but when I didn’t; you would make the bed. Your inconsistency and spontaneity always caught me. I remember how you used to look at my disappointed face when the bed was not made and to tease me further, you would put your arms around me from behind, giggle and whisper in my ear that you love to surprise me and watch my expressions. I wonder how we knew each other so well. I wonder how you could ever leave when you told me you saw your God in me.

I loved those times even better when you’d have to go early to work and then return by mid-day. I always liked to wake up with you and see you off (maybe that’s why you always told me that I was the perfect wife-material). When you had to go early, you preferred drinking juice instead of eating breakfast in the morning. However, when it was time for you to return after few hours, I would prepare breakfast for you. I loved to wait on you and would always be looking for you from our apartment’s window (imagine me and my race: kitchen and room, kitchen and room – Such a restless soul). Usually, you’d have the key of the apartment so when you would return; you wouldn’t go to the room (to keep your bag and stuff) or use the toilet (even though sometimes you had to use the toilet very bad because you didn’t like to use public toilets) but you would straight away come to the kitchen, hug me from behind and kiss my mouth. That was your routine. Sometimes, you would be running to the toilet after kissing me to get relieved but the kiss was necessary before anything. It was amazing how I would forget to kiss you at times before leaving the house but you would never forget to kiss my mouth. Do you ever wonder how it would feel to kiss me again? Do you ever wonder how my mouth will taste now — Heartache Berry or Emotional Cherry?

You were very self-conscious about your bad breath, even with me. You had to mouthwash before going to bed every night. Although, you couldn’t ever escape it completely because when you’d wake up and kiss my mouth unconsciously after wishing me a good morning in the bed, it was always too late for you to realize that you have kissed me without brushing your teeth or using mouthwash. I want to confess something today: I loved to kiss you better in the morning than in the night.

Every morning, I wake up with a part of you: sometimes your kiss and sometimes your scent; sometimes the hollow spaces in my heart that your absence fills and sometimes with your picture in my hand. Now that I have written this; I know why I woke up with a pain in my chest today. I might have missed on some part of you this morning and my heart couldn’t allow that injustice with you and your memories.

The flavor of love,
Is it vanilla or chocolate?
The cravings in love,
Are they bitter or sweet?
All that I know about love,
It begins and ends with you,
It’s the flavor of your tongue,
The scent of your body,
The sound of your voice,
The touch of your hand,
The sight of your utmost beauty.

My Super–Human

Watching you,
From the corner of my eyes,
Baby, you’re so perfect,
I can’t describe,
For you,
I’d walk a thousand miles,
Pretending like,
It’s always alright,
Don’t come any closer,
Don’t smile or grin,
Don’t be such a good poser,
Don’t pretend like we are a sin,
Don’t be so cold-blooded,
Don’t blame it all on me,
‘Cause,
I have known this after all these years,
You’re not even human,
When you cry without tears,
You’re not even human,
When all you do is not care.

Infinity stops short,
It watches you play the harmonica,
Baby, the sound of your voice,
Every time I hear you,
It makes me weak in the knees,
When you hold my hand to kiss my finger-tips,
I feel nothing but thousands of butterflies in my stomach,
I’d give it all up for you,
Pretending like,
It’s always alright,
Don’t make the same mistake again,
Don’t make me fall out of love,
Don’t be such a pain,
Don’t pretend like it’s us you want to get rid of,
Don’t be so cruel,
Don’t blame it all on me,
‘Cause,
I have known this after all these years,
You’re not even human,
When you cry without tears,
You’re not even human,
When all you do is not care.

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Photo Source: All Rights Reserved With: https://www.globalunison.wordpress.com

Forever Fantasy

He talks about a Forever,
I cannot define,
He talks about a Forever,
That cannot be mine,
He talks about a Forever,
That cannot reach the Finish-line,
He talks about a Forever,
A teaser like an old wine.

He talks about a Forever,
The one with a celebration,
He talks about a Forever,
The one with no foundation,
He talks about a Forever,
The one with a limited duration,
He talks about a Forever,
The life long temptation.

He talks about a Forever,
Nothing as such a fairy tale,
He talks about a Forever,
A fantasy when it’s described in detail,
He talks about a Forever,
I yearn to see one day,
He talks about a Forever,
A dreamy world for his eternal stay.

He talks about a Forever,
One that lives the age of our kiss,
He talks about a Forever,
A survival which is all about bliss,
He talks about a Forever,
One that is hard to resist,
He talks about a Forever,
A Forever where water and fire co-exist.

His forever can last a second or two,
Sometimes, not even a day get passed through,
He cradles me in his arms and I know this to be true,
His forever is our present, may it be an eternity or this passing view.

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Photo Source: https://www.imgarcade.com

Moments

Note: Hey there Folks! This is my very first duet with a fellow-blogger, Neeraj. We enjoyed composing it and I hope you all would enjoy reading. Additionally, I encourage all who doesn’t know him to visit his blog – a very talented poet and song writer. Thank you. 

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(Neeraj)

Stay here, closer,

Let me run out of breath,

We’ve got this moment,

It’ll not be here forever,

It may never come again,

Let me live,

Every moment of it,

Let us die in its arms tonight.

(Me)

Stay there, far away,

No need for you to be here today,

We had the moment and we did it all,

Let go of me,

Let me fall,

It may never occur to you,

Love ain’t lust, I’m through.

(Neeraj)

Stay here, closer,

Let me inhale you slowly,

Let me kiss you properly,

Once it is over,

It won’t come again,

Let me live,

Every moment of it,

Let me not be wise tonight.

(Me)

Stay there, far away,

Don’t you play with my hair,

Don’t you dare to come any near,

Let me sob for all I’ve done,

Let me take the blame for once,

It may never occur to you,

We were through way before we knew.

(Chorus)

The moment we thought could get us together,
The moment we thought could get us better,
The moment we thought could stay there forever,
It passed and we surpassed,
‘Cause we never tried,
To hold it tight,
To make it right…

You are mine!

lover2

Your presence may be a dream,
But I hear someone scream,
Is it you or my pulse swaying with a soft breeze?
Is it the distance or my insecurities pulling up as I seize?
I’ll give up in your arms,
I’ll let you chase me in the farms,
Your touch soothes my soul,
My heart bears a dark hole,
The more I lie, the darker the hole gets,
The more you sigh, the harder it is, I bet,
You told me, you wont ever let me go,
I paused and let the silence embrace us in snow,
You told me you were my guardian angel,
I smiled and caressed your lips with my fingers feverishly,
You held my finger and brushed it gently,
We listened to each other’s racing heartbeat intently,
The grip around my waist became firm,
“You are mine forever”, you reaffirmed,
Your lips were parched but the craving in your eyes,
You held my face and kissed me twice,
I hassled but you smiled in disguise,
I dug my face in your chest and hid the lies,
I couldn’t split my heart open,
I couldn’t grief your love,
I decided to bury the truth within my heart,
Where death is a reality but love is an …….
ART!

Happy Mothers Day (UK Version)

My super-mum when she was super-young!

My super-mum when she was super-young!

I have grown up celebrating “Mothers Day” on the second Sunday of May since ever but this time there is a twist in the story. I realized that England celebrates its mother’s day on the second Sunday of March and so I decided there is no harm in celebrating mother’s day twice a year instead it is a TREAT (for my mother specifically). But there is a villain to this story too and that is “Time”. My mother isn’t with me today (in England) and so she wont be on the Mother’s day in May though I know that regardless she wont be physically with me, her love and prayers are always with me.

The hustle and bustle in the stores, grocery markets (Especially Card Factory) on this very weekend is worth mentioning. People choosing cards for their mommy, granny etc and I felt miserable and happy at the same time. Happy for many would have their mothers right with them to cherish this special  day and miserable cause I was jealous or rather envious – I was envious of their happiness.

Mothers are the embodiment of God on this planet(at least that’s what I’ve believed for ever). There are no adjectives that can describe how great a mother is but we can always try – try to tribute her and make her feel special; not on just one special day but every day in our very own way. She should know that she is always cherished, her presence is a significant trademark in our lives, love for her is eternal and even if it is that we have to present our lives at stake to honor her, we will!

This woman who we call our “Mother” starts to feel us way too before we become tangible for her. She knows us well enough even before giving birth to us. Those nine months are her celebration, she counts down to the big day when she could finally touch her baby. The baby she had been awaiting since long when every day was a pain blended with happiness. She protects her baby for life exactly like her womb has protected the baby for nine months. Our mums are all the very same in a very different way. Some are strict, some are lenient, some are emotional, some are harsh and the list goes on but what unites them is they all love us – just enough that even if the whole world hates us, her love would be sufficient for the warmth and care needed.

These two ladies are the most beautiful beings on earth!My mommy and sissy <3

These two ladies are the most beautiful beings on earth!
My mommy and sissy ❤

My mom is a super-mom! Incredibly loving, caring, cheerful, emotional, compassionate, fierce, patient, kind, generous, warm-hearted, strong, beautiful, wise, my mentor, my bestie and the list goes on and on until I conclude it – she is a role model for me and I would always want to be a mother like her. I am very fortunate to have her in my life. The distance over the time has taught me many lessons. I wake up to my ringing alarm clock in the morning and miss looking at her angelic face for the very first thing in morning. I eat yogurt every morning and would buy her favorite cereal “Weetabix” cause I miss arguing over the breakfast with her that I don’t like eating yogurt or Weetabix for breakfast no matter how nutritious it is. I miss our “girlie” conversations and gossips. I miss when nobody is there to see me off when I leave for school. I miss her teasing me over my so-called big nose. I miss her calling me those nick names when I’d get real annoyed to attack her and she’d tickle me despite of the fact she knows that I am not ticklish. I miss cooking and baking with her when I’d be giving her tips on fashion and fitness and she’d be telling me to focus on cooking before she could smell something burning. I miss those long nights when she would toss and turn in bed cause something is bothering her and all she would need is a good massage, a considerate ear and a hot cup of milk and when I’d do it for her, she’d kiss my forehead and would tell me that I am her princess. I miss when she’d pinch me when I am on the verge to spit out her secret(unintentionally) in front of my dad. I miss her confused expressions while I’d teach her to use laptops, smart phones or even an I pod. I miss “HER”. I have realized her importance in my life even more in these few months while I have been away from her. She is my lovely mommy and I miss her every day and every night and I know she misses me way more than I can ever miss her but we love each other the most.

Find some time to spend  with her and let her know that you love her cause the arms of the clock would never turn back and the last thing you’d ever want to do on this planet would be “Regret”. Love her, respect her, honor her and make her feel special before it’s too late. Tell her she is your super-mom and your life may be super-busy and super-occupied but you always have some super-time every day for your super-mom! Cheers!

Relationship Trauma!

NOTE: Thank you so much for keeping a track to my site even when I was not posting, the stats are evident. Thank you for the shower of those beautiful mails who wanted to inquire about my NO-POSTING season, your care and love for me moved me to the core and that is how I planned on updating the blog today in spite of the busy schedule – your over-whelming love can break the barriers of the cold working schedule. I am blessed to have a bunch of sincere readers who seek my work and look up to me. Thank you once again for all the mails, they are worth million gems and I will surely be getting back to each one of them. I hope that my readers can compromise on my delayed posting though I will try to post at least once a day and if not possible then at least once in three days. The posting may be affected but I ensure that the reading hours won’t be reduced – all the blogs I follow will be read and fed with likes and comments where necessary. Thank you for the cooperation.

 

It has been three years, two months, twenty-seven days, seven hours, five minutes and thirty-seven seconds (to the date) when I met him for the first time. I was always pretty precise about our timings as it was always a treat to make him feel special with such remarkable moves that helped me look at him gaping with surprise at how perfect I was at times especially when it was concerned with him. I never intended to sound over-efficient or behave over-smartly but my target was to feed him with pleasure and happiness all at once. The stories of his past haunted him every now and then and I believed that it was my responsibility to ensure him that he was cherished and his present was much better than what he had expected of his future in the past. My efforts always wanted to pursue the desires of his heart so that he could feel the warmth and passion of love burning within me for him – his appearance may not be the factor for why was I attracted towards him but certainly his soul was primarily a key reason for my helpless condition. Despite of all my efforts, I believe I lack immensely from time to time. This feeling first bothered me when I realized that his way of expression and the incredible charm was fading – it was not my sight which has to be blamed but he really was changing. I did not have the nerve to ask him if he was not interested in continuing what we had between us – a blend of friendship that was transforming into love on my part and I was unaware of how his heart would respond to my feelings. The change in attitude is always evident and with time I saw his attitude rusting. I feared to let go of him – how would I ever feel if he would someday introduce me to the love of his life unaware of how my heart raced for him incredibly. How could he ever deny that when he called me beautiful, I blushed because there is really something happening deep down within me when he praises me. How could he not know that when we linked arms and walked together at the Christmas party of the school for the first time, I felt like a fairy-tale princess and I wanted to pause the life at that very moment to glance at him for eternity. Was he really unaware of my feelings unless I expressed myself in those three letter essential yet worthless words? How could I ever forget that moment when he said: “Darling, I was waiting for an eternity to hear it. Oh my goodness, I love you so much too”. He embraced me and I felt secured in his arms – first time ever after my daddy was gone and never held on to my finger because of his lousy second wife and her sons that comparatively seemed better to him than me and my mum. I can never compare him to my dad as I never found him a moral person but this guy; he was beyond morality for me.  Unfortunately, we always are immature and perceptive when the mind stops functioning and it is the chords of heart that tunes in to write the lyrics of our love song. He repeatedly betrayed me whenever he said that he loved me and I was such a fool that I actually believed him every time his cold gray eyes deceived me with the floral words he uttered. I have no idea what was my ranking on his list but he was the first one for me and the last one too (This thought was shaken when he left me all on my own at the eleventh hour)
 
Doubtlessly, he treated me exceptionally. He lived in the hostel of the campus as his home was situated in some other city but he would always walk me to my home which was a 15 minutes walk from the school campus. He would often slip his arm around my waist to hold me against him firmly or would hold my hand tracing my fingers gently on our way to home. Everything he did was charismatic or may be I was new to flirting even at the age of 19. We went to the cinema a couple of times together and all he did was look at me; I would punch his well-built chest muscles as I was shy but he used to sit there looking at me the entire time and laugh out loud when I used to sob gently (on an emotional scene) with my tears fluttering on my cheeks and then he would gently press his pinky finger against my cheeks to wipe away the tears. When we used to head out of the cinema, he always babbled about my red rosy cheeks – rosy was the word he used for my cheeks. He knew that if I would laugh or cry I will turn red like a tomato within a second and this was one reason he used to call me “Rose” so that he can tease me with his enthralling smile and lure me with his appealing flirtiest voice. He always encouraged my natural looks – he thought ”NO-MAKEUP”  made me stand above all the girls in our school and he repetitively mentioned how he loved me for my simplicity. His gentle kisses on my forehead when he would cup my face in his hands always enhanced my confidence and strengthened my love for him. The first time he ever kissed me on my lips was stupendous – for a moment I thought life was at a standstill as if I was drawn away from this world to the Heavens and I enjoyed a flight with angels. It was quick but this was the first time I could smell his Tony & Guy gel cream, his strong after shave and the strawberry cologne that enchanted me to remain like this forever. He was a gentleman – I realized it when he plunged his gray eyes into my chocolate brown and uttered the three magical words for the last time. Are you wondering where did he go? I don’t know myself. After our graduation, he ensured me that we would marry and he would do all he can to make me meet his parents. One day after two months he called on my landline – I ripped open my heart and started screaming at him over the receiver. I cursed him for being out of contact, for switching off his cell phone and simultaneously I cursed myself for not taking his home address, if that could have been one way to be in contact through postal cards and letters! After listening to me calmly, he uttered in the cold voice (an anonymous voice I was unaware of), “We can not work out. I think we should part our ways”. The receiver dropped from my hand and I was shaken from head to toe. I didn’t have the strength to uplift myself and I fell onto the ground when my toe hit the corner of the table and my toe-nail was scraped from the corner oozing the red liquid that was none of my concern anymore – my heart was bleeding much more than what drenched the bottom of my trousers and spilled on the floor. I got up and dug myself in bed – not just for one day but for many days that continued for several months but my mum’s patience always fed me with the stamina to bear the hardships coming my way. I tried calling him twice on the same number from where he had called but it was a local phone booth number in Edinburgh. He was sly to never leave a trace of him in my life and vanish like a shooting star.

 

A story like this or multiple stories with various differences are being heard every day by us or one of our colleagues. What do we do after hearing them? Feel pity for them?? The root of the problem in anyway does not focus on the betrayal with girls specifically but it focuses on the “STRATEGY OF A RELATIONSHIP” – there could be a guy in this girl’s place too cursing the turmoil of the past. Previously, I have been going through various blogs where girls and guys write their heart out. They believe that writing can help them with the speedy recovery; well doubtlessly this is a good idea but there are certain remedies that can help heal the open wounds or instead help you be aware of the relationships before hand.

 

There are five BEWARES I will list under their respective headings to counter once you think that the relationship you desire should be serious:

FREEDOM GRANTED:

Once you are committed, the possessiveness should be under control. Let the other person breathe at least. Life and love is not about tying your loved ones instead the more you allow freedom the more trust is promoted within a relationship. Suspicion should be kept aside as this is one tool that should never be used throughout the life time.

 

SOCIAL CIRCLE IS NECESSARY:

There are majority of the love cases where they give up their healthy social life because the charm of each other’s arms is much more thrilling than partying out with friends on a beach party. This idea may not sound lame but once the relationship does not turn out to be long-termed, life is no less than a hell when you do not have friends around to support you. However, friends and a lover should have their respective places and the time should be accordingly divided.

ACADEMICS:

For students and teenagers who willingly involve themselves in love mantras during their studying years is not at all a good idea. There is an age and time period for everything. This love factor encourages you to compromise on the part of your academics which as a result affects your grades; hence even if a relationship is serious in your career years, make sure you have bound circle set around you or a time table to help you plan out everything requiring your immediate attention.

LOVE IS NOT LIFE:

People who can not recover over a relationship or goes in a certain painful trauma are usually the ones who are new to the world of “LOVE”. Either it may be the first time they have been serious regarding a relationship or it must have been their first long-termed relationship. Whatever the reason may be, make sure life and love are two separate key words. Love happens in LIFE. Therefore, life is a primary word and it should be lived and cherished with or without love from a lover. After all, love encounters are a part of the life time but life itself is a one-go blessing!

INVOLVE PARENTS:

Once you think that the relationship is pretty serious, involve your parents. If one side is reluctant to involve parents, make sure you get through the reason and if there is no reason then obviously there is a sour smell of your rotting relationship. Therefore, if both are willing to involve parents, this is a very good sign for a healthy relationship. The meeting of your loved one with your parents would help you take an advice from them who usually are more mature, practical and experienced regarding these matters.

REMEDIES IF YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN DITCHED

A HEALING PEN:

Write your heart out on a piece of paper and burn the paper right in front of you or shred it into pieces. No need to keep a record of what you write and if you desire to keep a record or maintain a diary, it is ultimately as per on your own wishes. The key point is jotting down the wounds to let them heal. Once your heart is lightened from the burden of sorrow, you are good to go!

HANGING OUT:

After a break up, no one desires to expose themselves to the world of the embarrassment or rather they hate the sunshine as they believe the light of hope in their lives had vanished. In such a condition, compelling one’s self to go out and cherish nature helps in a million ways. Your mind wanders around the circumstances but nature engages your attention quite well. Even if friends are around they can be a pretty good treat too. Therefore, this compelling may sound like forcing one’s self but at the end of the day it helps you to heal fast.

THANKING THE ALMIGHTY:

In such circumstances when we are suffering of sorrow and misery, all we are capable of is cursing God. This lame act consequently reminds me of how we can stop thanking Him for ending the unpleasant trauma at an early stage and after all He is the Creator – He would never take a bad decision for us. The trust and faith in Him always is a positive vibe to continue with life cheerfully.

CRYING DOES HELP:

At times, all we would desire is to cry until our tears are dry. Do as per the desires of your heart. Cry as much as you want. It helps in reducing the burden off your heart. At the end either you would fall asleep or feel better than what you felt before. Crying your heart out is a simple yet a great remedy.

DIVERT YOUR ATTENTION:

Indulge yourself in various activities to pursue your personal interest so you are not left with the long hours thinking about the turmoil of the past. Enroll yourself to learn new interesting things, read books, paint on the canvas, make handicrafts, spend your time walking along the sea shore, doing work out and etc. In short, treat yourself with a tough routine which will help you to forget about the past readily and your attention will be diverted towards various other things of your interest.

YOGA & MEDITATION:

Yoga and mediation is a ready-made remedy. Once you know yoga, you have a good option to recover with the lightening speed and if not then enroll yourself for the yoga classes and the difference can be felt instantaneously. Yoga and meditation helps you to attain peace of mind by soothing your heart pulse and brain nerves. This automatically drives you out of the horrid trauma that is the unpleasant present of the destiny for an amusing life experiences.

LEARN THE LESSON:

Feeling betrayed by a loved one is painful. Feeling that your trust and relationship were not valued by the other person is difficult to bear but learn the lesson on your way. Betrayal teaches you not to idolize the external sources. Learn the lesson of forgiveness.  After all, life is the name of “Moving On”!

Escape (Part I)

Your every embrace;
Chasing the morning’s grace.

“Move FAST!!!” cried Jon with the racing heart and his voice competing the stereo speakers set up in the right corner of the club as soon as he saw Cara’s father investigating the security officers on the porch of the small hut. Cara is dressed in beautiful black strapless attire and dancing with her girl friends on the edge of the dance floor near the DJ setup off the floor. Jon thrashes everybody on his way to reach Cara and drapes her face with a piece of black cloth and rushes her through the crowd to the way to the backyard of the hut. Cara releases her hand from his firm grip to unveil his face and embrace him in her comforting warm arms sobbing quietly. Her tears rolling down her cheeks caresses the earlobe of Jon where a sensation is created – he wraps his arms around her as well and they sway with the wind on the edge of the sea shore while water waves play with their entwined feet.

The full moon shining above in the sky creates a miraculous reflection on the water waves crashing on their feet as they sit close to each other hunched on their knees carving each other’s name on the wet mud off the shore. Jon suddenly realizes that Cara is crying when a teardrop from her eye falls on his hand and he confronts her tugging the strands of her loose hair behind her ear and pulls her closer to wrap her in his arms.

“What’s the matter babe?” whispers Jon.

“Baby, I am scared. I want to convince dad to get us married”, explains Cara.

“Hons, you have crossed 18. You are legally an adult now and I love you”, argues Jon.

Cara bursts into a low-pitched cry and buries her face in the well-built chest of Jon. Jon is a dark guy with deep hazel eyes sparkling like the spaceships on the dark land of Pluto. His crooked nose compliments the pouch of his lips. This 6 feet and 2 inches guy stands like a huge pole where little Cara of 5 feet and 2 inches hides herself in him easily. His well-toned body has been an ever-lasting obsession and temptation for many girls but his heart has only accepted Cara as yet for she is his first girl-friend and doubtlessly the last one as he always reassured himself of his devastation if Cara would ever leave him.

Clutching each other – caressed by the wet mud,
Nothing dares to apart us – defeating the lasting flood.

Cara slept with her head tugged in his lap and he watched the beautiful girl lying before him like a beautiful mermaid sleeping peacefully after an exhausted journey. He combed her hair with his fingers while his other hand gripped her waist to support her in the posture she was sleeping. Suddenly, he felt a sensation down his right thigh urging him to move but he resisted to not disturb Cara’s serene sleep and drew his cell phone out of the right pocket of his denim jeans. He tapped the screen gently to see who it was and expectedly it was his mum inquiring about him. He made his way out of the inbox to check the time and his eyes darted the screen without blinking and it wasn’t later when he realized how it was too late to drop Cara home.

“Cara! Wake up sweetheart”, whispered Jon in her ear for he had no intention to knock down the serenity of seashore to pieces.

Cara moved but within the clutch of his arm as he had held her too firmly to let go.
”Babe! Its midnight, I need to drop you by your place sweetheart”, this time Jon’s voice was much louder than a mere whisper.

Cara opened her eyes squinting to the flashing white light of the pole reflected in Jon’s spectacles. “Baby, what’s the time?” Cara asked innocently.

“Quarter past MIDNIGHT,” The words shot as that of a missile and baffled Cara brushed the dust off her dress, yet wondering at the pace of time.
Jon looked at her patiently with a smile on his lips and within ten minutes they were standing on the porch of Cara’s home wishing each other goodnight. This was not the first time Jon has dropped her home at this hour of the dark starry night. The day they first met (the birthday part of Cara’s best friend); from that day onwards Jon knew the way to her home by heart.

Our first kiss under the sun-lit sky,
The fragrance of love – the naughty sigh.

Jon had turned back to return to the car but a hand grasped his wrist firmly and as he turned around, he saw Cara smiling naughtily yet with innocence.

“Baby, you are forgetting SOMETHING,” Cara encircled her arms around his neck and leaned in. Jon could then smell her strawberry shampoo, the soft scent of her enchanting perfume and within seconds he tasted her lip gloss. The feeling was too intense that he couldn’t make out the flavor of the lip gloss but all he could describe was that he wanted to taste the same lips for life time. Within seconds, Jon was driving to her home drunk in love.

Cara double crossed her fingers and gently inserted the key in the door knob and tried her best to not break the silence of the night. She recited a hymn she had learnt as a child in the church for self protection. As soon as she entered the hallway, the house was immersed in dark and without daring to turn on any light she headed upstairs but suddenly she was caught by the glow of a bright yellow light.

“Dad!” cried Cara trying to explain everything through the utter surprise.

“Yes Madam, what is the excuse for tonight?” the slurring words confirmed Cara that he had been drinking since a while or so.

“Dad, we will talk in the morning. You won’t understand anything right now.” Cara explained without hesitation. Instantaneously she saw her dad dashing to her while she stood firm in her place trying to bury her feet underneath the concrete floor. Her dad grabbed her by hair and banged her head against the wall.

“How dare you call me a drunkard?” he screams on the top of his voice scaring Cara to death. She is shivering from head to toe while her words stuttered and before she was able to utter a single word, she had been pushed by her father on the stair case whereas he left to prepare another drink for the night.

Cara’s father, Mr. Laurengram was a rich French business man who had married a Russian woman (Cara’s mother – Fiona Taylor) who died after delivering her first and last baby on the operation table. He was a caring father but what made him worse at times was his excessive consumption of alcohol and incredible possessiveness for his daughter. Mr. Laurengram never married again for he loved his first wife profoundly.  Apparently he loved Cara also but he had blamed her repeatedly at every stage of her life as he believed that the young girl was the murderer of his beloved wife and even after 19 years, he had not been able to get over the grief of his dead wife and continued accusing Cara for the great loss.

The quiet sobs under drifting breath,
Life is a curse – a wish for death.

Cara laid there on the stair case sobbing and wiping off the flowing tears. She could taste blood in her mouth but it was not a new story for her; she was well-aware of the consequences regarding the drunken man she lived with. She gathered all the energy needed to walk to her bedroom but she failed miserably. She knew that her physical strength might deceive her at times but emotionally she was as tough for a competition.