The World of Labels

After a sickening eternity, rainbows lingered in her eyes. The violet emerged ever so charismatically in her cold grey eyes when she imagined a life beyond her cottage in the woods. The fireworks lightened her dark lonely heart with sparks of bright hope and vibrant dreams when she realized that she could finally fly in the indigo sky. She was unhappy to leave her nest and folks behind but at the same time exhilarated to step out of the shadows to embrace a new beginning. She was tempted by the world of unknowns and danger. Little did she know, life outside her cottage was a vicious trap but she wouldn’t understand unless she became a victim of its sweet pain.

The reality of her existence boomed with the blues of Sea-Holly as she was warmly welcomed by the place she had only dared to explore in her dreams. The buildings stood taller than the pine trees that surrounded her cottage in the woods. She noticed that the sun shone differently in this so-called flawless world as if it vacillated whether to share its precious light with the gloomy creatures. The stars didn’t sparkle with their usual pearly white light at night and she was taken aback by the unusual differences she had observed in such a short time span. Wasn’t Nature supposed to be same all across the planet? Pushing her thoughts aside, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to absorb all she could of her enthralling yet mysterious green surroundings.

Days passed by and her pale yellow aura projected that she was utterly excited and hopeful for the future since she had recently embarked on a spiritual journey. Although in reality, the palpable excitement she had once felt about her life had been diminishing slightly. It was not that she wanted to return to her nest but this thriving world didn’t appeal to her as much as before. As she began pondering over the matter, the stunning orange sky took over her senses. She gave up in the arms of an enchanting evening hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

Time taught her well. The land of her dreams was painted with red. They loved each other and fought with the same people they cared for. They plucked the blooming flowers and stole the delight of Nature to decorate their houses but at the same time preached to be environmental friendly. They complained about the cold weather in winters and about the heat in summers. They were capable of differentiating between right and wrong yet chose to favor and support the corrupt. They killed to enforce peace. They had labelled everything from the color of their skin to the blood in their veins. They treated their fellow beings differently based on their gender, profession, religion and race. They bullied the weak and hated to be reminded that they were in the same shoes not too long ago. They lived in the world of gadgets where they text-messaged often and rarely spoke. They shared everything on the social media in the name of ‘sharing is caring’ but in reality, the idea of sharing was almost unknown to them. They were never contented and always yearned for more. These creatures were not only different from her folks in the woods but also were complex. Their actions often contradicted their words as their minds did their hearts.

The rainbows in her eyes faded as this multicolored world of labels stomped over her dreams and awoke her to a harsh reality. The truth was bitter but the lies she had been living for the past few months had been sweet. How she wished to rewind time and be unknown to all the mysteries which had been unraveled. How she wished to be a child again.

Wait; was she one of them already?

Life -I-


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The Warrior Spirit

The first time when he touched her,
He claimed her soul to his breath,
She decided for his heart to be her home,
And together they vowed to never give it up,
Then one day, he took away her tomorrow,
Blended her boundless love with unlimited sorrow,
Since then, she had only known her shadow,
To be her ally in the darkness alone,
For every night when he was away,
She chose to drown in his memory,
Every morning when she woke up to an empty life,
She chose to deny the truth,
So she could surrender to the endless pain,
That pierced through her self-esteem,
Whenever she tried to say goodbye,
To the world they created together,
While he had left her behind to savor their doom,
She played with the broken pieces,
Of her withering and flickering heart,
So she could fool it just one last time,
With the hope that he will return,
And claim her to himself all over again,
But until then, she would survive the pain,
With a smile on her face,
And the warrior-spirited woman she is,
So don’t be late this time, she would be waiting.

Untitled


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Stench of Sorrow

The solitude embraced her,
For the longest time,
She concealed her pain with a plastic smile,
A bottle of wine and sleepless nights,
Holding onto the fragments of false hope,
And the shattering memories came flooding back,
Tearing up her heart all over again,
This night which she thought would last forever,
Surprised her with bright morning light,
Invading her mind and all her weaknesses,
So she could undo the damage that numbed her senses,
The smell of alcohol faded with the tick-tock of the clock,
But would they not be stifled by the fumes of sorrow,
The stinging wounds that could smell bitter,
Than the alcohol on her breath,
She would give them the benefit of the doubt,
And let alcohol fool them all,
For oftentimes her heart could soundlessly shout,
For oftentimes she could motionlessly fall.

Behind the Disguise

Can you slip under my skin?
Pretend to be me for a day,
To see this brutal world passing by,
Living through yet another nightmare,
Don’t you stop, you will make it out alive,
To feel the wrath in my pain,
Crawling through the ice in your veins,
Don’t you worry, my love will keep you warm,
To taste the agony in my bittersweet tears,
Dripping through your fiery eyes,
Don’t you forget, you’re wearing a disguise,
To smell the pungent vengeance in my blood,
Pumping violently through your fierce heart,
Don’t you quit, it’s just the beginning of falling apart,
To hear the noise of silence in my mind,
Embracing your demons through the night,
Don’t you fear, wait for the morning sun to shine bright,
So if you live each day like it is your last,
Aching in love and numbing the pain,
Will you dare to be me again?

One Day..

One day you will feel my pain,
Burning underneath your skin,
One day you will feel my desires,
Aching within the core of your heart,
One day you will feel my energy,
Growing inside you,
One day you will feel my perseverance,
Easing your burdens,
One day you will feel my tears,
Wiping away the oceans of your sorrow,
One day you will feel my angels,
Conquering your demons,
One day you will feel my love,
Silencing your doubts,
One day you will feel what I have felt all along,
But until then, I will hope you know the way back home.

The Final Farewell

While he helped them say their final goodbyes, deep down he was not prepared for this unwanted farewell. His life has revolved around her and he became frantic imagining the world being so colorless and soulless without her presence by his side. Her eyes had shone brighter than the million stars lightening the gloomy sky.The searing pain seeped through his soul when he realized that her eyes would not be able to brighten his dark days ever again. Her warm summery smile had made his heart melt and his blood ran cold thinking that his heart would freeze without her heart-warming smiles. She had been there for him at each step of the way. She had not only taught him to tame the flight of his dreams but also the world of their reality. They had been deliriously happy together and it was unbelievable that she would decide to embark on a new journey without him.

He held her hand in his hand, kissing the fingertips but not for one second had he stopped praying for a miracle. He was crying his eyes out. He was not ashamed of his tears today because he was desperately waiting for their magic to seal the moment so they could stay together for eternity. Since the past forty-five minutes, he had sought various means to communicate with her: through his tears, the melody of his voice, the tranquility in his silence and the fire in his touch. His fingers had been interlaced with hers for the longest time and he hadn’t stopped mumbling in her ear but nothing seemed to be working. It killed him a thousand deaths for every second which brought them closer to the explosion of the ticking clock. It crushed his heart to see a part of him being taken away from him so ruthlessly but he couldn’t do much about it so he begged for mercy. He felt utterly powerless against the bullet of time. He was trying his best to stop her from abandoning his world and he wouldn’t give up until the very end.

She would never wake up again and machines wouldn’t be breathing for her anymore. However, they battled the last minute of their union with courage and strength that set an example for the soldiers in the war-zone.

He had lost more than a wife today — he had lost his soul.

That touch to make it all worthwhile <3

That touch to make it all worthwhile


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A Love Trap

The rotten scent of your broken promises,
Lingered on my skin,
Smothered my soul,
Brutally marked me inch by inch,
With the thousand lies,
That stemmed from one another,
Truth was a pungent poison,
Love was a panel of misty dreams,
You had lit an inextinguishable fire within me,
To drown out the voice of my mind,
You fearlessly knocked at the door of my heart,
Failed to realize that love was a perilous art,
You laid out an ingenious plan,
Every move brought you only closer,
To reach the shore — the beginning of our dead-end,
A moment you had waited an eternity for,
Oblivious to the love that could have been your abode,
You cherished the lust cradling your soul,
Only to destroy one thing I loved the most,
Ever since my heart had found its way to you,
It ached me to love you more than myself,
But don’t you dare question it my ruthless lover,
Love within me can burn for a lifetime,
I can learn to build the world of my dreams again,
Pain can leave me scars over the years,
The suffering and sacrifices can never go in vain,
These scars are the badges I wear,
So proudly for conquering my fears,
As a proof that I have survived,
That I am breathing and healing,
Most of all that I have made it out alive,
I might never learn to love myself like before,
‘Cause I chose to love a man made only for war.

Diary of Nobody -VII-

“You are ‘the one’. I cannot ask for anything more from Him now that I have been blessed with you. Please don’t ever leave me because if you ever did, you will take my life away with you. I love you with all my heart and soul.”

I wonder where I went wrong.  From ‘You are my life’ to ‘I want nothing to do with you anymore’ – what happened in the gap between those statements? If my memory serves me right, I became only better with time. Apparently being ‘too nice’ can drive a man away (beware good-girls!). It was your guilt, wasn’t it? I was being the best you could ever have while you were only writing ‘The End’ to our story. Often you lost temper because of the same reason but how come you never asked me to stop being me if the guilt was eating you away? Can you tell me now who loved who ‘truly’ in our relationship?

Suffering and pain – there are no boundaries to confine the idea of what pain is. I believed that pain had a ‘breaking-point’ only to realize that there are no limits to pain (as far as personal-experimenting is concerned). It was more than a million times when I thought I couldn’t endure living another day but somehow always survived. It was more than a billion times when I almost gave up but somehow never quit. It was more than a trillion times when I thought to myself that sorrow would kill me but somehow it always ended with the revival of happy-times. I only became stronger and with time the pain had nothing on me. The same theory of ‘limitlessness’ applies to happiness too. We can never pass the threshold of suffering or happiness because as long as we are breathing, it is symbolic of life and there are no extremes known to the concept of life. Death can seal this but let’s not go there.

After an absolute random ranting about my perplexed philosophies, I want you to know that I might have suffered a lot because of you and might continue to (for God knows how long) but you only helped me nurture into a strong woman I am today. Thus, I can only be grateful to you babe. Thank you for scarring me. Thank you for the bruises. Thank you for the lies. Thank you for the damage. Thank you for leading me into the dark. If it was not for you then I would have never known the person I am today.

So let’s be free,
Let us see,
Where life takes us,
What we may end up to be,
But know something my love,
You have nothing on me,
Not anymore — not ever again.

Numb

The drunken nights,
My red swollen eyes,
Crying and sobbing,
So I can finally sleep,
So I can finally dream,
The life which cannot be my reality,
The love which cannot belong to me,
The freedom to escape the sufferings of mortality,
The quest for my long-lost stability,
Ever since we’ve been apart,
You always seem to bring my heart,
The torment and torture of false-hope,
An everyday struggle with which I cannot cope,
So I am going to get high tonight,
It’s no longer required to put up a fight,
Lately I have been so numb to the pain,
It’s exciting to be alive again.

You build me up to break me down,
You tear me apart from the inside,
Left me in the raging flames of vengeance to drown,
You knew in your heart that you never tried,
To look beyond the horizon of self-pride,
How can you fail to see?
You cannot turn me into somebody you want me to be,
How can you not know?
I’m hurt but it is never going to show,
I’m too strong to be defeated,
Now that it’s all said and done,
I’ve never felt more completed,
So I am going to get high tonight,
It’s no longer required to put up a fight,
Lately I have been so numb to the pain,
It’s exciting to be alive again.

Wonderland

He held her hand,
Invited her to his wonderland,
She didn’t know how,
If after all these years he could allow,
A stranger in the creation of his mind,
Now that they shared one path to freedom,
They were lost for a reason,
They walked in silence,
Their eyes spoke volumes,
She didn’t let go of his hand,
The creator of their Wonderland.

They paved their way to Paradise,
Their endless journey of sacrifice,
He pushed away all his dreams,
She embraced his pain with her self-esteem,
Now that they shared one path to freedom,
Their worlds collided for a reason,
They walked for miles and miles,
Not a word uttered but their beautiful smiles,
She didn’t let go of his hand,
The creator of their Wonderland.

Their love grew with time,
Their desire to live together never died,
Differences was a part of their climb,
They had their reasons to question life,
They shared one path to freedom,
Love built them up for a reason,
They are old and fragile now but they keep walking,
They listen to the sound of silence in bliss but no talking,
They didn’t let go of each other’s hand,
The sustainers of the Wonderland.