Stench of Sorrow

The solitude embraced her,
For the longest time,
She concealed her pain with a plastic smile,
A bottle of wine and sleepless nights,
Holding onto the fragments of false hope,
And the shattering memories came flooding back,
Tearing up her heart all over again,
This night which she thought would last forever,
Surprised her with bright morning light,
Invading her mind and all her weaknesses,
So she could undo the damage that numbed her senses,
The smell of alcohol faded with the tick-tock of the clock,
But would they not be stifled by the fumes of sorrow,
The stinging wounds that could smell bitter,
Than the alcohol on her breath,
She would give them the benefit of the doubt,
And let alcohol fool them all,
For oftentimes her heart could soundlessly shout,
For oftentimes she could motionlessly fall.

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Book of Life

You are a book,
An untitled story,
The beginnings and endings,
They write it for themselves,
They make their way,
Piercing into your lives,
Exploiting the truth,
Faking the lies,
Broken trust and false promises,
Unexpected expectations and rustling good-byes,
Chapter after chapter,
New characters,
Hesitantly envisioning,
The possibilities to realize your dreams,
Learning from the past,
Making present an inspiration,
To seek a brighter tomorrow,
And the book continues,
Good and bad times,
Protagonists and antagonists,
Friends and foes,
Love and light,
Arguments and fights,
Brand new beginnings,
Abrupt endings,
Day after day,
Chapter after chapter,
Light after dark,
Misery after bliss,
The vicious cycle continues,
The combination of peace and conflict,
Accumulated loads of ambiguity,
But what are you living for?
What is the purpose of this ongoing war?
Why do you yearn for more and more?
The answers to your questions,
They demand years and wisdom,
For you can resolve this mystery,
With a journey of self-discovery.

Diary of Nobody -V-

Sometimes when I go back in time, it amazes me how very convinced you were with the thought of abandoning me and giving up on our relationship when we had been through so much to make ‘us’ possible. You didn’t care a darn about giving us up but you were not ready to give up on your bad habits. How can you prioritize everything in this world over me when I on the other hand always kept you and your happiness as my very first priority?

You know what’s the worst part? I am not angry with you (Yes, absurd but true). I am hurt and offended and disappointed but I am not angry. Instead, I still love you.

“It was your fault to always try to make us work. You should have not been the one picking up the broken pieces every single time. You should have kicked me out of our house.”

You said that trusting you entirely and blindly was my only flaw and that I  should have been more alert. I apologize babe because I was too busy making you happy that I forgot that I had to play a psychotic-spy-wife role where I had to tap your phone and check your emails.  I might have taken it too far with respecting your privacy and personal space but what did you mean when you said that I should have been more ‘alert’? What in the world did you wanted me to do? I will tell you something about trust that you have never been told before: You trust somebody completely or you don’t trust them at all, period.

They tell me to forget you – how does one erase memories? Make new memories. It hurts me to know that eventually I will have to watch you fade away in my subconscious world. But then if I have the courage to watch you leave my reality then the fading-away-business shouldn’t be so painful (just a thought, I can be wrong too).

It will take me some time to accept that my future will not have you in it – That you will live in my past.

Flawless as I may seem,
Perfection is an imperfection itself,
I may be just a sweet dream,
A living nightmare and the unheard screams.

Double Standard

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It’s not hurt that conquers my heart but it’s you. I am what my past has made me and it’s all about you – it’s all about us. The pain that comes with being a part of you is somewhat enchanting. I find my comfort in your arms. I seek my love in your eyes. I recognise myself in the purpose of your existence. It’s unbelievable that you will play a double standard game but then after all you are one of your kind – unpredictability is in your blood.

I can breath you in all day long. I can feed on the curves around your lips forever. I can watch myself in the depth of your eyes for every second left of my life. I can forgive you but not forget you. I can love you but not leave you. I can please you even at the expense of who I am but you won’t see, you won’t listen and you won’t even understand. All that I was and all that I have become is to you just another pawn in your double standard game.


Photo Credits: https://www.google.com/images

I Love You!

Note: This poem is another real-life story. This is the story of my very dear friend who has over the time fallen for a man who possess a life-turning history that can move anyone! He is a gem and truly deserve to be loved for who he is. I have met him personally and I believe that men like him are found rarely on this planet for he never curses the life’s mishaps instead enjoy competing with them. He is an inspiration and I believe what he did for his family isn’t a piece of cake. It is his birthday today and I wish him a very warm Happy Birthday with blessings for his health and happiness. I hope he and my friend can succeed in paving their way together.

The poem can be confusing but I do not want to fade the charm by my explanations. All I can say is consider my friend and her lover on the scene – I’m not included even if the poetry sounds like “I” all the time.

Hey buddy, if you are reading this one’s for you!  Happy Birthday! *High Five*

Your arms comfort me,
Your love is all I can see.

Deep oceans and vast skies,
Love’s in the air – no goodbyes.

Claim me; I belong to you,
Waiting on the moment when I can say I DO!

Life’s been a torture and a harsh examination.
You’ve fought the hatred, bullies and raising inflation.

The day you sobbed while murmuring the story of your past,
My heart was stabbed and my heartbeat so fast.

You told me how previously you had nothing to eat,
You had to shift houses – move from street to street.

Your wife was your support and you loved her truly,
She paced with you despite of life being so unruly.

You looked at her and the miseries seemed off shore,
Her arms were your heaven and her love your highest score.

The world conspired against both of you,
However, you remained steadfast as the time flew.

*From this turn, I have changed the speech of the poem. The poem continues to be his narration (in my words, of course) *

Seven years of struggle, efforts and resistance,
Letting her go was the destiny’s decision.

Two different religions portray us as criminals,
If love is a crime then I will commit it in all my life’s intervals.

The world parted us,
M
y soul couldn’t take the fuss.

The divorce papers were on the desk,
Failure invaded my heart – my reflection so grotesque.

How can I sign them for I love her name?
How can I forget those memories we together framed?

The world’s cruel and brutal but my heart is at peace,
I smile when I encounter how her life’s at ease.

Her gleaming eyes deserve all the happiness,
How can I forget her lovely caresses?

She loved me, for who I was,
She adored me exceptionally without laws.

Today, on my birthday I cherish my memories with her,
Our lively memories that can never be blurred.

She looks at me from the photo I have clutched,
Her pretty smile makes me feel the warmth of her touch.

Many may come in my life though,
No one can fade the charm of her glow.

Life can be excruciating to wound you,
Make your way through and be forever true.

Incredible’s Credibility

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all 

“Once it happened that I was….”

Laura was interrupted by her only little angelic daughter Mary while she was communicating with one of her million fans in the same book shop; where masses have awaited her arrival from a long time since her last book broke the records claiming to be a BESTSELLER with 100,000 copies sold across the world in no time. Everyone wanted to catch a single glimpse of this beautiful saintly lady whose age was all a mystery for the exquisite world but the light lines across her cheeks and under her eyes was evident enough for her not-so-far OLD AGE prepared to embrace her anytime from now. Laura, a journalist and a columnist, working for a well known newspaper in Boston loved to share her world with her readers and so her exclusive attempt on scratching her heart out on paper in the form of a book of 472 pages was proved to be a right decision for a boost up in her career.

”Mum, can I please have your sign too?” Laura laughed her heart out and managed to convince her little angel on the matter of fact if it was okay for her to sign Mary’s home lesson diary once they drove back to home. Lately, after spending an hour or two in the same place in between her admirers, she returned back home, earlier than expected. She possessed warmth and affection for her family and home equal to that of her career and profession. She mastered the skills to balance everything in life hand in hand; there was nothing at all where her expertise had failed. Simply, Laura was a versatile woman who knew she had to jog in the morning, work out in the evening, be punctual at work, respond to her fans in due time, perform house chores and give all her remaining valuable time in the proper upbringing of the little Laura growing up under her nose. The sole reason why her home was yet a home, though being run by a celebrity was, her ultimate struggle to place her family before her promising future. This was the single handed answer to the bliss prevailing in her cozy abode.

She overlooked the lush green plains and vigilantly observed the sun ruling each and every bit of the land bathing the world with its dazzling ray beams addressing the mass about the functional importance of hope in life; which can be bitter or sweet simultaneously. The blue sky appeared like the protecting shield for Mother Earth, the squeaking birds seemed like speaking a valid language which could be deciphered by her and the world felt contracted as if nothing exists but only her home in space where she have to live isolated from the world till eternity. Her imaginary world was erupted once at a sudden when memories broke off in between leaving her body numb and mind hysterical, the past shook her from head to toe which reminded her of the accident that ruined her world partly, snatching away her finest possession and blessing in a heartbeat. She knew that she could never see him again and that they will now meet in Heaven only but there was dark side of her that regretted his departure from this universe leaving her forlorn and bare handed. Laura was thrown back in the present from those brutal memories that haunted her every now and then when she found herself trembling. She moved away from the window and seated herself in an arm chair soothing her pulse so as to regain the peace of mind. Laura, though missed her husband, but at the same time was thankful to Almighty for the everlasting sign of her husband in the form of Mary, she could still feel him compelling her to pursue the path of her desires. Laura sensed anxiety, uneasiness, stress and strain as if something worse was to be happening in near future. She neglected the uprising discomfort ruining her peace of mind and opted to meander more independently leafing through the GOLDEN REGISTERS, recalling her good times and bad times with him. Suddenly her heartbeat quickened and her racing heart shot for the moon when she realized why she was missing him so much. It was HIS day, his birthday, the day when his mother held him in her arms for the first time caressing and stroking him, realizing the gem in her hands she was blessed with. The tranquility and harmony in the room entertained her with his invisible presence, she could feel his hands over hers encouraging her to follow the same pathway leading to the achievement of the desired dreams, she dreamt as an adolescent. She could feel his gaze upon her encouraging her solace splendor, she could feel his lips on her ear lobe whispering how much he loved her and will continue to until FOREVER.

”Mum, mum, mum!!! Are you listening to me?”, Marry cried on the top of her voice.

Laura was set back from the fast track drive of delusion when her daughter applied brakes to the rushing memories dissolving her in the solution of PAST. She smiled when she saw Mary in front of her, the little reporter she had in her home who bombarded her with plenty of questions in a bit of every second.

”Mum, what do you think more often?”

Laura shifted in bed, sitting with an upright posture so that Mary could rest her head in her welcoming lap. Laura stroked her hair trying to hide her trembling hands which merely expressed her distressed state and the inexorable war with her delusions even now, with Mary around her.

”Honey, mum have to think about everything; like you think about school, mum have to think about various things at a time”, Laura said gently.

”But mom, I don’t have to stand by my window to think about school”, Mary answered instantaneously. Laura faked a smile and kissed Mary on her forehead.

”When you will reach my age, these fields will attract you more than a couple of Barbie dolls and stuff toys in your room.”

”Mum, when you were in school, were you a lot famous like today?” Mary asked innocently adjusting herself in the bed.

Laura wondered how her 9 year old daughter makes her speechless with every other question more startling than the previous one.

”No baby, instead I never had friends. No one liked to be around me”, Laura blurted out absently.

”Mum, were they jealous that how you will become a celebrity one day?”

”Hons, its mum’s turn now! How can you frame such questions that relate me to…….”

Before Laura could complete her sentence, her cell phone beeped indicating a text message that reminded her how she had to go to a party today that was kept by her colleagues to celebrate her recent success, the award she got as a best columnist from The Times OF Boston.

”Come on baby, it is time for you to go to bed. You can continue your interview tomorrow, on the way to school, madam”, Laura remarked sarcastically.

This time, both of them laughed hard until they gave up in Mary’s bed where Laura hummed a lullaby and Mary was asleep in the matter of few minutes. Laura wore stunning black attire and just after few minutes she was found in her garage opening the door of the driver seat of her Mercedes and pulling the car on the street and driving all the way to The Resort, the venue of the party!

Apparently, she appeared to be in the state of mere ecstasy but behind the curtains was an explicit sorrow that no one can feel or see except of herself. She felt doomed at times when she had to believe that the man, who vowed to keep her happy for lifetime on 10th February 2001 (their wedding day) was no more in this world to keep the promise he made 11 years back, he was no more to uplift her in the difficult times instead he left her in the midst of life to struggle for owning bliss when she knew that happiness would never open its arms to embrace her cause she had abandoned that path a long time before. She wandered wildly in every bit of her head to explore the reason for the flabby smile she needed to paint on her lips for the world; no one realized how exhausted she was to keep faking the same smile when underneath the thorns clutched her firmly that she succumbed every incoming breath because her heart and soul always contradicted with each other, she was deceiving the entire WORLD.

However, lost in her own world, she lost the control over the convertible and her vision blurred. Within a minute, she had no control over herself as well. Her clammy hands went numb, her legs were trembling and tears were streaming down her eyes. She didn’t stop DRIVING. This time, everything vanished; she did not want to regain her senses and Almighty listened to her. It was very late this time when she realized that her convertible had hit the trunk of a huge tree and blood splashed coloring the windshield red. The bonnet was smashed and the car was totally wrecked from the front, she didn’t lose her conscience by that time. Soon enough she heard a BANG and was thrown out of the car. This warrior lady was still breathing in spite of her face being caked with blood and her dress being all drenched in the same fluid. She smiled, this time genuinely. May be this time, she could see the angels along with Adam. May be this time, she knew she will attain eternal happiness. Laura felt her soul descending for the astral journey when she finally voice her thoughts huffing and puffing, smiling elegantly,

”Thank you, Thank you for making things easier for ME.”

”Granny, did she die?”, John broke the silence.

”Well, I told you the whole story, now you have to think about it dear.”, granny responded sleepily.

Granny walks out of the room, leaving John with Laura’s baffling words echoing in his head which leads him to end up in bed dreaming about a mysterious beginning again, that will be made into a story by granny the following night.

The Labyrinth Spell

Life is a junk mesmerized with your spark,
Life is an outrageous scene spent with you in the PAST.
Life is a tender scar you left with an EVERLASTING mark,
Life is your BLESSING forcing the pain to last!

Life is what else I can say?
Something no less than a horrid dark day.
Thou intrigued me with an endless bay,
The bay of blood and tears to stay!

I never saw you losing the hold,
Thou warmth prevents my veins to cold.
Are you done or is it sold?
The piece of gold that I left without a fold!

You presented me with the pain of love,
You snagged me with my blood draining eyes above.
You lifted me, I felt the flight of the dove,
You released me behind the bars with a terrific shove.
 

Will you ever come back?
Or I missed the train to the right track.
Everything seems serene but the words I lack,
Do not cast the spell again to trap me as your JACK!