Reality

I was a lost man,
She brought me to life,
I could have been dead,
She helped me survive,
There is a hidden treasure,
In the depths of her eyes,
Hidden galaxies or a whole new universe,
Something beyond ordinary,
Something impossible to deny,
She is the cure to my disease,
An answer to my silent prayer,
She is my every day miracle,
The breaking of a beautiful dawn,
The madness to embrace my insanity,
The essence of my reality.

Superman

He lay there,
With his arms wrapped around her,
Breathing in the scent of her soul,
Calming the raging storms that shook her insides,
Which was sometimes beyond his control,
The disappointments and the regrets,
That had taken their toll over her,
He hushed them one after the other,
While he squeezed her in his arms,
As though to drain out her aching sorrow,
She was scared of failure,
But there was nothing to fear,
When he was there by her side,
Trying his best to absorb all her pain and tears,
Which she couldn’t run away from or hide,
Whether it was a dream or reality,
He was her peace, madness and sanity,
And she knew he would be the one,
To put together the missing pieces of her life,
So as to heal her brokenness and fill the voids,
Whether it was a dream or reality,
She would never stop being his kryptonite,
And he would do all that he could,
To rescue her with or without a plan,
Because he was her Superman,
One who might not know how to fly,
But could put her to sleep every night,
Ensuring her that tomorrow would be alright,
Even after all the years that passed them by,
He never stopped being the Superman he was,
She never stopped being his kryptonite,
And that was how they survived,
Travelling beyond the speed of light,
To defeat the darkness around them.

The Power of Now

There was a lot he could do,
With the time on his hands,
The clock was ticking away,
This life was passing him by,
Day after day and he never asked why,
He sinned every day hoping to be forgotten,
He sinned every day hoping to be forgiven,
He bullied the black girl in the class,
So he could have a good laugh,
He always looked down upon his fellows,
As if they were weak and inferior,
While he thought of himself as invincible and superior,
The allure of power, wealth and reputation enticed him,
So he lied, bribed, cheated and promoted,
The game of corruption he loved playing,
He had been lead to believe,
That the reality of the world was superficial,
No more did he desire the true happiness,
No more did he appreciate the beauty of truth,
Busy accomplishing the life in his hands,
He forgot to understand that death was inevitable,
Peace was nowhere to be found in his heart and soul,
He lost his way to home,
So he spent his life chasing after the desires of the flesh,
He forgot that his spirit also needed to be fed,
The time slipped away,
Each tomorrow was just another passing day,
He managed to accumulate everything to be supposedly wealthy,
But how come he never felt bliss,
“Because you fail to see the power of truth, peace, light and love”,
His inner voice revealed the reason,
He mocked and laughed at its foolishness,
And took pride in his choices,
After few years, when Death stood before him,
It asked him what had he done to better this world,
His mind didn’t know any answers,
So his inner voice spoke yet again,
“He failed to see the power of truth, peace, light and love”,
The riches that have been accumulated over the years,
They couldn’t accompany him in the other world,
And that is when he realized,
He wasted his lifetime chasing after the glitches of this life,
But nothing could be done no more,
He drifted too far from the shore,
And now time has closed its doors.

The World of Labels

After a sickening eternity, rainbows lingered in her eyes. The violet emerged ever so charismatically in her cold grey eyes when she imagined a life beyond her cottage in the woods. The fireworks lightened her dark lonely heart with sparks of bright hope and vibrant dreams when she realized that she could finally fly in the indigo sky. She was unhappy to leave her nest and folks behind but at the same time exhilarated to step out of the shadows to embrace a new beginning. She was tempted by the world of unknowns and danger. Little did she know, life outside her cottage was a vicious trap but she wouldn’t understand unless she became a victim of its sweet pain.

The reality of her existence boomed with the blues of Sea-Holly as she was warmly welcomed by the place she had only dared to explore in her dreams. The buildings stood taller than the pine trees that surrounded her cottage in the woods. She noticed that the sun shone differently in this so-called flawless world as if it vacillated whether to share its precious light with the gloomy creatures. The stars didn’t sparkle with their usual pearly white light at night and she was taken aback by the unusual differences she had observed in such a short time span. Wasn’t Nature supposed to be same all across the planet? Pushing her thoughts aside, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to absorb all she could of her enthralling yet mysterious green surroundings.

Days passed by and her pale yellow aura projected that she was utterly excited and hopeful for the future since she had recently embarked on a spiritual journey. Although in reality, the palpable excitement she had once felt about her life had been diminishing slightly. It was not that she wanted to return to her nest but this thriving world didn’t appeal to her as much as before. As she began pondering over the matter, the stunning orange sky took over her senses. She gave up in the arms of an enchanting evening hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

Time taught her well. The land of her dreams was painted with red. They loved each other and fought with the same people they cared for. They plucked the blooming flowers and stole the delight of Nature to decorate their houses but at the same time preached to be environmental friendly. They complained about the cold weather in winters and about the heat in summers. They were capable of differentiating between right and wrong yet chose to favor and support the corrupt. They killed to enforce peace. They had labelled everything from the color of their skin to the blood in their veins. They treated their fellow beings differently based on their gender, profession, religion and race. They bullied the weak and hated to be reminded that they were in the same shoes not too long ago. They lived in the world of gadgets where they text-messaged often and rarely spoke. They shared everything on the social media in the name of ‘sharing is caring’ but in reality, the idea of sharing was almost unknown to them. They were never contented and always yearned for more. These creatures were not only different from her folks in the woods but also were complex. Their actions often contradicted their words as their minds did their hearts.

The rainbows in her eyes faded as this multicolored world of labels stomped over her dreams and awoke her to a harsh reality. The truth was bitter but the lies she had been living for the past few months had been sweet. How she wished to rewind time and be unknown to all the mysteries which had been unraveled. How she wished to be a child again.

Wait; was she one of them already?

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Diary of Nobody -XI-

Just because there wasn’t a forever with you – I feel there can never be one.

While our song plays on the radio tonight, I slip in and out of reality making emptiness and nothingness my peers along the way. I am numb to the emotions of life for now. Lately, I have been thinking about you a lot more than usual and it’s intriguing and confusing at the same time. Why can’t you just leave me alone?

I went for a stroll this morning. There were barely any cars out on the road at that hour and the sun was beginning to rise. I liked the city better at this time when it was quiet and peaceful. I inhaled the beauty of the serenity surrounding me and it was in a long while that I didn’t need music to accompany me. Usually, I disconnect myself to drown out the voice of the world with a pair of headphones and my music playlist but today I was trying my best to connect with the same world. I was cherishing the birds singing their songs in the distance. I hummed along with them but the morning was not the same after you had crossed my mind. Suddenly, I was taken back in time (just like that). I wanted to tuck my hand in the pocket of your coat so our fingers could be entwined while we walked.

I was wandering in the valley of our memories, far from reality. She held my hand and brought me back to face the real world. I looked down at this little four-year-old girl pulling down on my sweater’s sleeve. Your name escaped my lips and you were not a secret anymore. I didn’t realize that I had been crying until she pointed it out and demanded a reason for my tears. I panicked and ignored her question and became anxious if she had been out at this hour all by herself.  I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard her call out ‘Daddy, Look I am here’ to a man standing not more than ten steps away with his back facing us looking around for her.

I smiled at her and assured her I was fine. She couldn’t help being the usual quick-witted kid and bombarded me with detective questions like what had I been doing there; if I had been out with my father as well; why would I cry in the middle of the street; if I was scared when she held my hand and who is ‘your name’. I was astonished when she mentioned you not because she heard your name and remembered it but because she considered you an important question-mark-to-be-answered to reveal my mysterious story.

I knelt down so that I was face to face with her. I held both her hands in my hands and told her that I didn’t have answers to her questions but I had something that she would like. I fished through the pockets of my sweater to find this toy I have had from few days ago when I went to McDonald’s. The happiness spread across her face and I witnessed a sunrise right then and there. Her father called out her name again and she responded back with ‘I am coming’.

Before I realized, she hugged me tightly. I knew this was a goodbye hug. Overtime, I have become an expert in knowing how these hugs feel.

“I really like you. Will you like to be my friend? I don’t have many friends”, she whispered in my ear while hugging me.

Before I could respond, she continued: “I can be better than ‘your name’ and then you wouldn’t miss him.”

The tears rolled down my cheeks again and I whispered back that I would love to be her friend. She kissed me on my cheek and ran in the direction of her father.

The man politely smiled at me while she climbed on the shoulders of her father and waved me goodbye with a smile that will stay with me for the rest of my years.

I made my way back to the apartment while I mourned over this short-lived friendship. For the first time since I have known you, I realized I had confided in somebody other than you.

The Lost Girl

Please don’t leave,
Don’t leave my glowing world to be in the dark,
Please believe,
Your love has left me a permanent mark,
I have been chasing the rainbows just to see,
If there is a world beyond our interpretation of free,
I have been counting these stars in the night,
Counting the infinity is like blowing out the light,
I don’t want to let you down,
But I have looked everywhere around,
The girl you knew once upon a time,
She is nowhere to be found,
So can you help me find her?
‘Cause she must have lost the track,
She is willing to find her way back,
To your heart which she knows as her home,
Otherwise she might never cease to carelessly roam.

Please forgive me,
My imagination cannot seal the reality,
Please let me in,
For I have been choking my emotions under my skin,
I have been living with the lies just to see,
If there is a world beyond our uncertainties,
I have been falling in the arms of memories,
Dreaming my life with you for all eternity,
I don’t want to let you down,
But I have looked everywhere around,
The girl you knew once upon a time,
She is nowhere to be found,
So can you help me find her?
‘Cause she must have lost the track,
She is willing to find her way back,
To your heart which she knows as her home,
Otherwise she might never cease to carelessly roam.

Them Versus Us

The knots in my stomach,
The lump in my throat,
Their false-promises,
The cruel way they gloat,
So I wonder how can they not feel stress and anxiety?
So I wonder how can they let themselves be another causality of the society?
So I wonder how can they sleep at night knowing that people are dying of starvation?
So I wonder how can they ignore the ongoing conflicts and brutality?

As I pace back and forth,
Searching for an answer,
As I continue to live like this,
The suppression of free speech,
Eating me away like cancer,
So I wonder how can they not want peace in reality?
So I wonder how can they not try to eradicate poverty and inequality?
So I wonder how can they be socially blind?
So I wonder how can they ignore the suffering of mankind?

I follow through the dark,
Searching for the glimpse of light,
The hunger for change,
Holding onto hope,
For the pitch-black night to shine so bright,
We don’t have to listen to their lies anymore,
We have the power to set a vision,
Ultimately leading us to our mission,
So I wonder why do we blame them when we can be stronger on our own?
So I wonder why do we not unite and fight our battles as one?
So I wonder why do we hesitate to take action when we know we should?
So I wonder why do we not rescue humanity by moulding bad into good?

Numb

The drunken nights,
My red swollen eyes,
Crying and sobbing,
So I can finally sleep,
So I can finally dream,
The life which cannot be my reality,
The love which cannot belong to me,
The freedom to escape the sufferings of mortality,
The quest for my long-lost stability,
Ever since we’ve been apart,
You always seem to bring my heart,
The torment and torture of false-hope,
An everyday struggle with which I cannot cope,
So I am going to get high tonight,
It’s no longer required to put up a fight,
Lately I have been so numb to the pain,
It’s exciting to be alive again.

You build me up to break me down,
You tear me apart from the inside,
Left me in the raging flames of vengeance to drown,
You knew in your heart that you never tried,
To look beyond the horizon of self-pride,
How can you fail to see?
You cannot turn me into somebody you want me to be,
How can you not know?
I’m hurt but it is never going to show,
I’m too strong to be defeated,
Now that it’s all said and done,
I’ve never felt more completed,
So I am going to get high tonight,
It’s no longer required to put up a fight,
Lately I have been so numb to the pain,
It’s exciting to be alive again.

Diary of Nobody -V-

Sometimes when I go back in time, it amazes me how very convinced you were with the thought of abandoning me and giving up on our relationship when we had been through so much to make ‘us’ possible. You didn’t care a darn about giving us up but you were not ready to give up on your bad habits. How can you prioritize everything in this world over me when I on the other hand always kept you and your happiness as my very first priority?

You know what’s the worst part? I am not angry with you (Yes, absurd but true). I am hurt and offended and disappointed but I am not angry. Instead, I still love you.

“It was your fault to always try to make us work. You should have not been the one picking up the broken pieces every single time. You should have kicked me out of our house.”

You said that trusting you entirely and blindly was my only flaw and that I  should have been more alert. I apologize babe because I was too busy making you happy that I forgot that I had to play a psychotic-spy-wife role where I had to tap your phone and check your emails.  I might have taken it too far with respecting your privacy and personal space but what did you mean when you said that I should have been more ‘alert’? What in the world did you wanted me to do? I will tell you something about trust that you have never been told before: You trust somebody completely or you don’t trust them at all, period.

They tell me to forget you – how does one erase memories? Make new memories. It hurts me to know that eventually I will have to watch you fade away in my subconscious world. But then if I have the courage to watch you leave my reality then the fading-away-business shouldn’t be so painful (just a thought, I can be wrong too).

It will take me some time to accept that my future will not have you in it – That you will live in my past.

Flawless as I may seem,
Perfection is an imperfection itself,
I may be just a sweet dream,
A living nightmare and the unheard screams.

Day 23: Your Dream Job

I am a very career-oriented woman and I will love to be a professional working woman one day but my dream job might not have the very same idea of professionalism.

My dream job is to be a novel writer/writer. I want to travel around the world and feed on inspiration to write. I don’t want to be some genius like Dan Brown. Instead, I want to scribble down stories of people that we don’t pay quite an importance to but they are heroes of today. I want to be able to tell people what is reality with a pinch of fairy-tale-pepper (only because it exists).

So yeah, that’s it for this post. I can’t believe it’s Day 23 already for this challenge!

Until next time, Live, Love, Inspire & (don’t forget to) Smile. Believe in yourself and you can conquer all your fears.