Damaged Beauty

He was terrified of loving her,
Not her flawless smooth skin,
Or her bright crimson eyes,
The silken texture of her luscious lips,
He was afraid of the storms inside her,
The disasters which made her a breathtaking mystery,
The irresistible and impossible work of art she was,
And if he was to shed all her skin down,
So he could try to peek inside her soul,
As though to admire the perfection he would see,
The light beyond the shadows of her physical appearance,
He feared to admit to himself,
That she was beautifully damaged,
But like the rest, he was scared to unravel,
The mysteries that were woven into the basis of her existence,
He was tempted to experience love in its best form,
Nonetheless he was afraid to tame the storms roaring inside of her,
He was scared to let go of his desires and transform,
His fear into a superpower to be able to see through her,
And hopelessly fall in love with her beautifully scarred heart.

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Behind the Disguise

Can you slip under my skin?
Pretend to be me for a day,
To see this brutal world passing by,
Living through yet another nightmare,
Don’t you stop, you will make it out alive,
To feel the wrath in my pain,
Crawling through the ice in your veins,
Don’t you worry, my love will keep you warm,
To taste the agony in my bittersweet tears,
Dripping through your fiery eyes,
Don’t you forget, you’re wearing a disguise,
To smell the pungent vengeance in my blood,
Pumping violently through your fierce heart,
Don’t you quit, it’s just the beginning of falling apart,
To hear the noise of silence in my mind,
Embracing your demons through the night,
Don’t you fear, wait for the morning sun to shine bright,
So if you live each day like it is your last,
Aching in love and numbing the pain,
Will you dare to be me again?

One Day..

One day you will feel my pain,
Burning underneath your skin,
One day you will feel my desires,
Aching within the core of your heart,
One day you will feel my energy,
Growing inside you,
One day you will feel my perseverance,
Easing your burdens,
One day you will feel my tears,
Wiping away the oceans of your sorrow,
One day you will feel my angels,
Conquering your demons,
One day you will feel my love,
Silencing your doubts,
One day you will feel what I have felt all along,
But until then, I will hope you know the way back home.

The Lost Girl

Please don’t leave,
Don’t leave my glowing world to be in the dark,
Please believe,
Your love has left me a permanent mark,
I have been chasing the rainbows just to see,
If there is a world beyond our interpretation of free,
I have been counting these stars in the night,
Counting the infinity is like blowing out the light,
I don’t want to let you down,
But I have looked everywhere around,
The girl you knew once upon a time,
She is nowhere to be found,
So can you help me find her?
‘Cause she must have lost the track,
She is willing to find her way back,
To your heart which she knows as her home,
Otherwise she might never cease to carelessly roam.

Please forgive me,
My imagination cannot seal the reality,
Please let me in,
For I have been choking my emotions under my skin,
I have been living with the lies just to see,
If there is a world beyond our uncertainties,
I have been falling in the arms of memories,
Dreaming my life with you for all eternity,
I don’t want to let you down,
But I have looked everywhere around,
The girl you knew once upon a time,
She is nowhere to be found,
So can you help me find her?
‘Cause she must have lost the track,
She is willing to find her way back,
To your heart which she knows as her home,
Otherwise she might never cease to carelessly roam.

Never Want to Let Go

Fire burning inside my core,
The emptiness inside of me is your abode,
Your heart has caught a cold,
Your lies cannot fool me anymore,
Pretending like it’s not your fault,
Preparing yourself for a revolutionary war,
You knew I was around the corner,
You watched me tore myself apart,
You heard me sob the silent tears,
You set fire to my heart,
Now that I have seen it through,
I fail to see anything beyond you,
So love me like I do,
Kiss me like I do,
Touch me like I do,
Give me at least what is mine,
Open your arms and let me in,
Burn me under your skin,
Take me by the hand,
Write me in your blood,
I just want you to know,
I never want to let go.

I can’t wait for these bare trees to be green again — Spring Time (yay) ❤

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Dropped Kisses

Under your boot die the dropped kisses,
A swing of your mood, and the bearer lips you bruise,
Black and blue, you make holes inside the world,
Meth & Jack Daniels, innocent dreams you ruin,

I wish you love,
I wish you heartbreak tonight,
A new morning when sky will break,
Your guns won’t mend the wreck inside,

Lacerate and connect the dots of destiny,
Gagged you, shatter the magic in love for me,
Initiate, reciprocate, poke and nudge endlessly,
Angel’s innocence you betray, their desire you hate,
but I…

I wish you love,
I wish you heartbreak tonight,
A morning when you’ll bleed and quake,
Your guns won’t mend the wreck inside,

Trust me I tried,

Beauty in those soulless eyes,
Touch of a pale cold skin,
Flare of your pretentious love,
Bluff, and you’ll see the cracks within,

I wish you lo..

Enough,
Enough,
Enough,

I can’t wish you anymore love,
And I can’t wish you any heartbreak,
One new morning when I’ll wake to the missing ache,
Your guns wouldn’t be able to wreck what had been at stake.

– This is a duet with a very talented writer, Neeraj Kumar. Don’t hesitate to check out his blog; you wouldn’t be disappointed.

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Time Bomb

You took my breath away,
Left me gasping for more and more,
The starvation in your eyes hunts me like its prey,
The shifting burden of pain in my core.

Your gaze pierces through me like its a laser,
I am burning up and getting drunk on your lies,
Your touch is tender yet it feels like a taser,
I am falling apart and surviving your lows and highs.

Pull me close or let me go,
Don’t leave me hanging through this fall,
Burn me in your passion or let us blow,
I am a time bomb ready to explode.

You feast on the thought of our ‘Forever’,
It’s incredible how you celebrate our doom with me,
You stab the virtue in its back with your endeavors,
How fortunate you are to have me begging on my knees.

Your soul feeds on my cherry lips,
I am loud in silence and getting your stains off my skin,
Your heart seizes my mortality for it knows the love in my blood can drip,
I am living the best at my worst and the worst at my best for all my sins.

Pull me close or let me go,
Don’t leave me hanging through this fall,
Burn me in your passion or let us blow,
I am a time bomb ready to explode.

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For a second, I thought I lost you. Your fingers let go of my hand and your pulse plays hide and seek with me. Your eyes are shut and your face is calm as if angels have already arrived. Suddenly, I hear you mumbling..

‘Mitsy, please don’t leave me‘.

I don’t know what to do, I feel powerless, as if I am shackled in chains of self destruction. How can I let you go when you have asked me not to?

‘Darling, I am right here’, I whispered.

You hold my hand as tightly as you can but I feel nothing. Your eyes are teary but you wouldn’t say a word. Of course, you and your feminine strength! But I know, beneath this Iron Lady of mine, there is my little chunky bear who is crying and hurting and I cannot do anything about it.

‘You ate anything?’, you struggled to speak.

‘Shush, don’t you speak! You worry too much’, I smiled.

I vowed to you on our wedding day that I will be there by your side forever and will catch every one of your teardrop before it lands on your cheek. Now for the first time I have failed to fulfil my vow. As I see a teardrop moistening your cheek, I scoop it gently with my finger before it dissolves in your skin. I feel like a criminal in my own body. You are not supposed to break like this. One after the other, each day is draining you out and as much as I want to take you away from all this, I cannot. It’s difficult to believe that humans like us can become this vulnerable and incapable that we have to give up to nobody but ourselves – our very own body.

I feel sick to my stomach watching these doctors fiddle with your body like a mechanic would with an automobile. I am watching you while these doctors are trying to understand your body. Your body is complex and functions differently than mine. It is attacked by those microscopic things called germs. As a child, I always thought of these germs as a creation of the imagination of Science. Perhaps, now I stand corrected. Doctors tell me that the germs attacking you are not ordinary germs we might be affected by if we don’t take care of our hygiene. Instead they are pretty dangerous; deadly enough to change the will of your body. Now, as your body and germs fight as one, so must our spirits in this battle for life.

While these doctors are trying to do their job, you are peaceful like angels have taken you away from me. For a second I think I have lost you all over again but it’s the story of my life. Your disease is draining the life out of your system and watching you come and go is draining mine.

The Random Scribbles…

I lie in my bed,
With the shedding memories which were misread.
I miss your touch and the way you held me,
The reason for my smile is gone for I am free.
I walk out of the door and nobody’s there to pull me in,
Can you just not see there lives a *GIRL* under my skin?

————————————————————————-

He respects me,
His efforts always invested for my happiness and glee.
I look here and there to reassure if he is still around,
He shrugs and there is his shy smile to be found.
Beauty is his possession,
For I know, I have made a CONFESSION!

——————————————————————————

You went away,
I waited for there was much to say,
Turn around if there is any way,
Can you hear me shouting – please stay!
This world wont give me a chance to pray,
Can we relive those golden days?
Forgive me, I’m on my knees today,
Leave me the burning scar – remind me to smile everyday!

————————————————————————————

Sleepless nights in the cold December,
Loneliness is all what I can remember.
The river of my tears that flowed before your door step,
My insignificant soul meant nothing but an ultimate misstep.
The one embrace I crave for now is,
The arms of death to spare me with bliss.

Betrayal (Part III)

Let me cry,
Let everybody spy.

The empty house compelling me to commit a sin

The burning scars appealing hindered pain under my skin

The dagger in my hand – I desired to bleed

Thus excreting the organic fluid to feed my soul with creed

The unwavering will to slash my wrist

Eradicating the memories behind the mist

His face pressed against the walls of my brain

The smell of his body intriguing my soul again

He is yet a sweet memory – I can’t blame him

How can I forget our first kiss under the moon lit dim?

I am into pieces again – pleading myself to forget and forgive

My heart aches in the quest for our moments to commemorate and relive

His virtual appearance holding me close together

Hence I am nothing better, just an old rotting feather

His reminiscences surpassed me to hand the dagger again

“Let’s do it”, recalled my hasty brain

I was on the verge to gash my wrist for the blood to flow

Flow like a thrusting ocean to manifest what’s there to show

The stamina summoned when a thought clicked

Why such an audacious choice for my family cause of a vicious convict?

I threw the knife onto the ground

Sobbed and wept unless I heard a sound

As I heard the sound, I dashed to my room

Washed my face, managed to be in bed without a BOOM!

He ruled my thoughts persistently declaring his reign over me

We vowed to love each other forever with glee

Did he forget his commitment even before the war started?

Did he intend to make me bleed with suffocation and misery faint-hearted?

To Be Continued…

Betrayal – Part I

Betrayal – Part II