Now or Never!

The time marked her flaws,
The scars marked her strengths,
She had crawled all the way up,
The walls nobody could climb,
They were painted the darkest shades of cold gray,
And while she had tried to run away from her demons,
She fell prey to the light from deep within her soul,
It was a slow motion embrace,
Watching the dark of the cold night fade into the bright crimson morning,
It felt like eternity embracing infinity,
It required no beginning nor ending,
This was her moment to escape from the thought of tomorrow,
Slow dancing with the present and her dreams followed,
This was her reminder to never stop climbing,
She was stronger than ever, it was now or never.

Day 4: What Are You Afraid Of?

Now, this is the only good picture I could get after no-sleep-for-over-24-hours.
I love the sight of clouds — you can treat on them as well, you know? Enjoy ❤

I am afraid of losing myself in the chaos of this world. I am afraid of losing the vision that I can make a difference one day. I’d like to take one step at a time but reach my destination.

I am scared of wasting this precious life and not being able to recognize the purpose of my existence as a human (like why I was created a ‘human’ – to serve a greater purpose? what purpose?). Sometimes, I think I can try hypnotherapy but I rather keep it as my last resort and wander in search of my purpose at the moment. After all, I should give myself a chance first.

I am afraid of the ‘insecurity of future’. I have everything today and I might have nothing tomorrow. I have my loved ones today and they might not be with me the next day and I wouldn’t even be able to say Good-bye. I know how you all would be like ‘live in the moment’ but I can’t help thinking about tomorrow.

I am afraid of ‘Age’ but not ‘Death’. Probably, the cycle of life. For instance, when I see and touch my mum’s hands, I notice the wrinkles and rough texture of the skin of her hands, a result of years of hard work. I see the ‘old-age’ approaching. My mother is a woman who is sixteen at heart but watching her grow old sends shivers down my spine (Just to clear it, I am not afraid of aging myself).

I am afraid of not being able to fulfill my parents expectations. My parents have always given me the freedom to follow my dreams and do what I believe is right unlike the majority of Eastern parents. I can’t be who I am today without their support. Hence, one of my biggest fear is if I’d fail them one day. Worse off, what if I fail myself?

I am scared of the ocean — even more after the airplanes disappearing. I have read that around 70% of the ocean remains undiscovered, I can only imagine the miracles of this mysterious Nature underwater.

I am scared of animals. I really want to over-come this fear as it was developed because of a tragedy in my childhood. I was around 3 and these kittens were playing with me when I was walking to my aunt’s place which was a block away. Suddenly, I lost my balance when I tried to not step on the kitten and tripped over and fell in the drain. It became quite serious and since then I can’t get over this animal-fear. Also, when I was a kid, I used to dream snakes a lot. It’s just a few years ago when it stopped so I got quite paranoid with the crawling and wriggling creatures. Even the thought of snakes make my body tense.

I think that’s it for this post. I am sure there might be bulks more but I won’t bother stressing after such a long flight!

Until next time, Live, Love, Inspire & (don’t forget to) Smile. Believe in yourself and you can conquer all your fears.

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