Diary of Nobody -VI-

Goodbyes and I get along very well — to an extent that I believe we are synonymous.

Once you told me: “Their loss if they don’t want to do anything with you. You are one of your very own kind — I don’t expect them to understand you.”

Now that you’ve said your last good-bye, what should I believe? That it’s your loss? That you didn’t understand me either? I don’t think so.

I was always a “misfit”. The society didn’t accept me for who I was. They wanted to mould me into somebody they would be pleased to interact with. I was not convinced to give myself up and I became a rebel. Being rebellious taught me a life-long lesson that I love to preach now: question everything (even an answer). It taught me the difference between right and wrong (something people don’t seem to understand for they are so busy blindly following the so-called ‘world trend’). They complained that I looked at things differently. They tried to silence me by bullying me. God knows how they felt about their failure after failure for I came stronger every time they made an aggressive move against me. They wanted to get rid of me and I made it my mission to ensure that they should never achieve their goal.

However, then you came along. Apparently, I was told that you liked me for me. You liked me for having a “voice” this world desperately needed. You liked me for having “questions” to challenge life on every step of my journey. You liked me for having an “aura” that was ever too visible. You liked me for having a compassionate “soul” that instantly connected with you. You liked me for my “smile” which in your opinion was evergreen. You always told me what you liked about me but how come you never stated one darn thing that led you to eventually dislike me? Was my “voice” too ground-breaking for you? Were my “questions” unanswerable and frustrating? Did my “aura” became invisible with time? Did my soul connected too much with you? How did my “evergreen smile” faded like an autumn breeze?

You had your mind and heart set on me and all you wanted was for me to make you the center of my world sooner or later. Why did you have to leave when all you ever wanted was in the palm of your hand? Or is it that I was always the “unwanted”?

I am bound to stitch,
The wounds we gave birth to,
I am bound to revive,
The dreams we shattered,
I am bound to adore,
The memories we shared together,
I am bound to live you,
For the rest of my life.