2015 Is Here (Are You Ready?)

It is very difficult for me to believe that 2014 is ‘past’ already. 2015 is here — I need somebody to pinch me. Time has been on a race track for these few years. I can’t believe that England has been my home for around 2 and a half years. I am just a year and a half away from my final destination — ‘I have grown up’. I am still the same girl who likes to pillow fight with my siblings, jump around the house on sofas and beds, live in the thoughts where I can conquer fairy tales and ride on unicorns, sing no matter how I sound and dance to any beat in front of the mirror. I mean, I am twenty but I still feel sixteen. So where have those four years gone? I have matured a lot lately and people around me keep pointing that out but at the end of the day, that kid in me is so much alive. It’s very difficult to even think that ‘I am all grown up’. May be I don’t want to grow up this fast. Anyhow, this is life and growing up is a part of it. Did I say it yet? Well, before I go ranting about my year — Happy New Year!! You readers are my ‘WordPress Family’ and have supported me throughout. I have been seventeen since I have been writing this blog and I have made valuable connections in the span of these three years. I have been going and coming back and have taken long breaks but you all have always been here for me. It’s such a great feeling to share this special bond I share with so many people across the world. You all play a great part in my life and I can’t be grateful enough for your time. All the blogs I read have helped me nurture and learn a lot about life and people. All the beautiful blogs I came across in 2014 and before, thank you for inspiring me and sharing your work. I look forward to see you all in 2015. May you all have a beautiful and blessed year ahead (Amen).

Now about my 2014…

2014 is a very special year for me. It’s the mixture of happiness, sadness, excitement, misery, love, pain, patience and much more. I realized it’s not always about living; sometimes it’s all about surviving. I am very proud to have survived this 2014 which is the most memorable year in my memory book.

It was my first New Years in England without my family. The 2014 New Years was spectacular. Love was in the air and beauty everywhere. I wanted to play with snow but there was none. It still was a great start to an amazing year.

I didn’t make any new friends and I have no regrets about that. I enjoy sparing myself the little time I have from the studies.

I visited my parents in April for around 10 to 15 days and spent my Summer in England. It was one of the most challenging Summer of my life with no fans when there was a very strong need. I bought a tower fan and an air cooler from Argos yet nights were uncomfortable. Regardless, I enjoyed sun to myself knowing I’d miss the sunny days in Winters.

I completed my first year in Law School and scored quite well (although the first year doesn’t contribute towards the degree). I hated Contract Law and always will.

My cooking improved quite a lot. I think it’s a good thing. My favorite dish for the year was ‘Brown Stew Chicken’ (Trinidadian Style).

I moved to a new accommodation in the beginning of July 2014. The place was a studio unlike my last spacious one room apartment. However, I like one fact about the studio that I don’t have to get out of the room to use the toilet (That was irritating).

I finally learnt to play Chess. I am not that good at it (Practice makes perfect) but at least I know I can play it!

This was the first time I watched FIFA tournament! I rooted for underdogs like Costa Rica and Columbia. These two teams made my FIFA experience exhilarating.

2014 was still a lot about ‘Plants vs. Zombies’ and my Zen Garden but I got obsessed with a lot of other games like ‘Ruzzle’ and ‘Golf Star’.

When I left my old accommodation, I had to leave Jade! I miss Jade a lot but every now and then I pay him a visit!

I planned a trip to Euro Disneyland in France, only to realize a day before that I would require a ‘Schengen’ Visa to go to France. I didn’t get any refund and I was very depressed. Well, better luck next time!

My 20th birthday — finally out of teenage years. First ever birthday in England and was worth it.

I saw my first ever rainbow on August 17, 2014. It was so beautiful and it didn’t disappear for until five minutes. It was a delicious treat!

I was addicted to Netflix in 2014. Orange is the new black, Psych, Sherlock, 24, Frasier, Three’s Company and so many more shows. I just couldn’t keep myself away from all this good distraction.

I lost a very special and old friend (my best friend) towards the end of the year (don’t know exactly how). I tried to settle things but the friend had already moved past me.

I came back home for Christmas unlike 2013 Christmas and I will soon be leaving for England again.

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The world experienced a lot of chaos in 2014. Increasing number of ‘Rapes’ and ‘Sexual offenses’ not only in India but across the world; the recent terrorist attack on an Army Public School in Pakistan resulting in the martyrdom of over 100 innocent children; the Gaza incident where hundreds of innocent lives suffered brutality and violence; disappearing and crashing of airplanes; the Ukraine-Russia situation; the formation and barbarity of IS; the outbreak of Ebola in Africa — we can only hope and pray for this world to be a better place in 2015.

Lessons learnt in 2014:

Sometimes, ‘giving up’ is the ultimate solution.

‘Forgetting’ is as important as ‘Forgiving’. One is incomplete without the other.

Merely breathing is not living. Living only happens when you are happy. Other times, you survive.

Heart is your worst enemy. Keep it sane by using your brain.

Love is not about one’s own happiness. It’s about seeing the person you love happy. Thus, love is somewhat-all-about pain.

Anger is healthy to an extent for everything that’s buried deep within can be released. However, draw a line and damages (physical or material) always represent stupidity.

Falling down is what life is all about. Your job is to dust yourself off and get up to prepare yourself for another adventure.

It’s not always about winning or losing. It’s all about how you played the game.

Failure is a stepping stone to your next victory.

Life and Love are two different things. Don’t confuse one with another.

Highlights of 2014:

Word of the year: Love
Strength of the year: Ability to ‘Cry’ and let out the ‘Grief’
Words of Wisdom’ of the year: ‘Divorce and break-ups are an easy way out of the situation; trying to mend what has been broken requires courage and audacity which most of us lack. Anybody can give up but victory belongs to few – those who can conquer the differences with the shield of love and trust in themselves’ – Naima.
Color of the year: Blue
Person of the year: Dumbo
Book of the year: Tell me your dreams – Sidney Sheldon
Song of the year: Heart Wants What It Wants – Selena Gomez
Show of the year: Frasier/Psych (Can’t decide — it’s a tough one)
Best day of the year: September 10 &17, 2014
Worst day of the year: December 11, 2014
Lesson of the year: ‘Forgetting’ is as important as ‘Forgiving’. One is incomplete without the other.
Blessing of the year: Courage
Support of the year: Family
2014 in one word: Ongoing

Let’s have a look at 2014 New-Year’s-Post and if I got through with my goals for 2014:

Reduce the consumption of coke.
[I don’t even remember when was the last time I had coke — hence, Accomplished!]

Give a break to PvZ2!
[I tried but I don’t think I got over Plants Vs. Zombies the way I wanted — Not Accomplished!]

Take time out to travel.
[I will consider it done cause I planned a trip yet something happened and it had to be cancelled; not being able to go to France was very disappointing and depressing but I tried — hence, Accomplished!]

Whenever going back home, say ‘NO’ to Emirates and try different airlines.
[With airplanes crashing and disappearing, my parents became too paranoid to even consider my idea — Not Accomplished!]

Spare my hair some space and grow my bangs.
[Accomplished]

Brush my teeth in night (No excuses – I don’t want all my teeth to fall out at 40).
[I am so proud of myself for this — Accomplished]

Avoid ignoring messages from people and try attending calls (have to stop running away).
[Still trying and I have progressed a lot but not fully satisfied. I think I still end up hurting people by ignoring their messages so I am going to make this again a resolution for 2015 to get even better at it — hence, Not Accomplished!]

Learn to play chess.
[Accomplished]

Forgive & Forget (Forgive part is easy, try to apply the forget part in real life as well).
[Still trying to improve, I mean, not improve my memory. Forgetting is still giving me trouble but I have done a great deal about it and going to keep getting better — hence, I will give it Accomplished! (this was challenging)]

Get closer to Almighty and continue the journey to discover my soul.
[This is an ongoing journey for life but this year I discovered ‘Myself’ on a whole new level; I didn’t realize I was capable of so much until this year — hence, Accomplished!]

Eliminate working-at-the-eleventh-hour-rule from my life.
[This is the only resolution which didn’t get worked upon at all (probably, because its the force of habit) but I will make sure to make this happen in 2015; hence its going on my 2015 resolution list and it’s Not Accomplished]
 

Now, my goals/resolutions for 2015:

Stay ‘happy’ — I ‘should’ be happy and thank Lord for all His Mercy and Compassion.

Become an active volunteer, helping people as best as I can in my spare time.

Not to take long-breaks or disappear from WordPress — I will manage my time even if it is one post a month (although I will try to contribute more than that to this community which has given me so much).

Change myself for the better: be less stubborn, consume balanced diet (especially in England), be more patient with myself, be less selfless (think about myself before others), not be gullible and stop being a ‘hero'(I am not here to save the world or be a ‘Superwoman’ — I am here to just play a part; I can’t save everybody).

Avoid ignoring messages/calls (Communication is the key; hence running away won’t help). I am working on it since last year (I think I am getting better at it).

Be ‘Spiritual’ than ‘Religious’ (I am quite religious already).

Spare some time for my personal fitness — whether it be yoga, self defense or gym.

Avoid being over-optimistic which leads to ‘false-hopes’ and mere consolation. Have a practical approach and go by the rule of ‘Expect the best, prepare for the worst’.

Boost up my self-esteem and be more confident about myself (like before — I have to get back to be the confident and self-assured ‘Naima’).

Start working on my ‘bestselling-novel’ that I always wanted to write.

Eliminate working-at-the-eleventh-hour-rule from my life (I have to really work on this one).

Finally, I have enjoyed reading everybody I follow but there are some blogs that have had a great impact on me and I have loved their work throughout 2014 (or for the little time I could follow them):

Cookie – I personally ‘love’ her blog ‘Calliope’s Lyre’. Her poetry touches the deepest chords of my heart and I can relate to her poetry in so many ways. She is an ultimate inspiration. Her blog is a great find of 2014 for me. She is amazing at what she does and I ‘heart’ her work!! Some of my favorite posts include Aspirations, Within, Dark Mornings, Living By Halves, The Apology, Living Numb, Messages of a Cigarette -XXV- [And many many more].

Cecilia – I absolutely love her blog ‘Mum C Writes‘. It’s informative, raises issues of awareness and the quality of her work (poetry in particular) is phenomenal. I can’t thank her enough for finding me on WordPress because that way I found her beautiful blog. Some of my favorite posts include Breast Milk, When Shame Tames and Optimistic Vibes.

Nadine (The Nadlog) – She is a young, beautiful and a very talented blogger. Her simplicity and positive attitude towards life inspires me. I discovered her blog a few months back and since then I have loved her blog for her bold and positive attitude towards life. I really enjoy her posts but the best ones I remember are Sisters, She drowns and I don’t know about but I’m feeling 22.

Bill – I know this man for a while now. He tells himself as my honorary dad and I absolutely adore him and his wisdom. His blog (bwthoughts) is all about the best things and experiences with a ‘lesson’. His posts (his thoughts) are not too lengthy and superb!! He and his blog has helped me learn so much about life. Discussions with him are fun. I can’t thank him enough for being such a great influence. I loved his recent post Polonius-isms.

Neeraj – This man and his blog (Exposed Emotions) is my personal favorite. I have done poetry-duets with him and I get to learn so much from him. His work inspires me and his enthusiasm is commendable. He is just not a fellow-blogger but a friend as well. The philosophical discussions are a source of learning as well. He recently self-published a poetry book ‘Reverberating Pang: WHEN You Lose Someone You Don’t Own’ which was a great success (I personally loved it). Now, I am looking forward to his new book ‘Together Forever’. Some of his poems that I very much enjoyed include Conclusion, Barefoot, Five Years Later, All Alone, I Can’t Stay Mad At You and I wanna Live (From the Heart of Unborn).

Kim (Silently-Heard-Once) – She is somebody I discovered when I started blogging on WordPress and I have been following her since then. I love her poetry and her courage and enthusiasm to fight every battle. She is an inspiration. I loved her recent posts like A Dip in the Sea, Intimate and Now is Today.

Alastair – ‘A Mixed Bag’ is a beautiful blog. I love his photography. The posts where he puts up a poll to choose ‘Photo of the Month‘ is a very interesting idea. He makes me want to be a better photographer (Chuckling).

Wendell – ‘Where Words Daily Come Alive‘ is a beautiful blog that I have been following for a while now. It’s all about poetry. I enjoy reading Wendell’s blog and his poetry is always so soothing and inspiring. Some of the posts I like are To Forever Keep and Everywhere I Go.

Renard – ‘Renard Moreau Presents‘ is a great blog! This man writes about everything and anything. If you have been following his blog, you know you will keep yourself updated with everything! His blog is super informative and user-friendly. I can’t name his one post that I like but his ‘Just Pondering‘ blog posts are always interesting!!

Less-About-Love (Diary of a Tight-Lipped Girl) – I like her blog for her bold expression about relationships and sharing her life and thoughts to educate others with her experiences.

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Finally (the Winter Break is Here!!)

I love how magnificently the seven colors manifest themselves in a ‘Rainbow’ as one– can we be as noble as these colors who come together to give this world an utter sight of beauty?

 

So finally – my home is calling me. I am visiting my family after a very long nine months which I thought would never end. Earlier this year, I couldn’t go back in the summer break cause I was busy with an internship. Hence, I was looking forward to the winter break for a long time. However, my family is much more excited than me, my mother is a given but except of her, my sister is going insane with the count down.

I am happy and nervous at the same time. Returning home after so long does bring back all the emotions not just associated with my family but it also stirs the feeling of patriotism and love for my motherland. I am happy (not really excited but delighted) to go back home because I have missed my mother a lot. Also, this is the longest I have stayed away from home to the date. Anyhow, the flip side of the coin is that I am nervous. One thing that I am afraid of is that I am a changed person now. I cherish my personal freedom and value the peace in isolation. Going back home means all the hustle bustle, relatives and family gatherings. I have never been the social type anyway ( I am not shy but reserved – there is a difference!). Hence, now that I have been living on my own for almost three years – going back poses a threat on my personal freedom. I will have to be a part of family now while here in England, I can do whatever I want (as in I can wake, sleep and study whenever I want to; eat whatever I want – I can live like a night owl). At home, I have to go by a certain time table; not as in somebody dictating my life but more like a civilized approach to routine life which I don’t really care about in England. The second issue that concerns me is my temperament. I was never the calm person anyway and have always blamed my gene for this short temperament. However, now I ‘think’ it is worse. Anything can possibly trigger me off and I can lose it ( please don’t advise anger management – pretty please) but I think it’s one of the disadvantage of living on your own. The feeling of being independent and isolation leaves you a little confined and if somebody even tries to hop into your space, then you have ‘Watch Out’ written straight across your forehead. Although, it could be just me but I have heard people ranting about this more than often. So I can only hope that I don’t lose my temper and keep myself under good check and control. After all, it’s a party time for me — finally a break!!

Well, I have my flight in few hours and I hope Emirates is on time which is highly unlikely! Also, I apologize in advance for missing out on all the good stuff I get to read written by all you lovely people. See you guys soon in a different land with different experiences! Happy Holidays!!!!

Live, Love, Inspire & (don’t forget to)Smile. Believe in yourself and you can conquer all your fears.

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Is Your Soul Worth A Look?

My soul feels uncomfortable in its very own body. I wonder if I am a disappointing it or choking its voice. It doesn’t communicate with me anymore in the way it used to before. Is it that I am not having sufficient solitude to entertain it? Am I embracing life that will yield only worldly pleasures or am I preparing for Hereafter?

I like to look good, who doesn’t? Perhaps, if not good, then at least presentable. Does looking good serve the reason of my existence? Should I be worried about my physical appearance or the appearance of my spirit? If I came face to face with it someday, will I be able to recognise it. Mirror is my best friend, I love to watch the young woman I am growing into but do I have the courage to watch the reflection of my soul in the mirror? I am always posing for a good picture if somebody flashes their camera in my face. This is the age of ‘Selfie’ – one can hold their cellular phone to their face and capture an incredible shot. I will like to see a ‘Selfie’ of my soul. I am told beauty lies within then why this world is chasing the material beauty that is unsustainable; something that is destined to be destroyed.

We are the nation of fools. We blindly follow. ‘Fuck’ is a casual word for adolescents; if they use it then they think they sound very modern. Another very common word, ‘Bitch’; everything can be described in today’s world with the help of these two words by people around me. Of course, there are exceptions to these cases; hence none of the subject should be taken personally. When will we open eyes and realise it is already too late to undo the damage we have caused to this beautiful planet? When will we stop bullying that quiet girl in the corner of the classroom? When will we stop this disease of Racism from corroding our unity? When will we stop hating if our hearts are capable to love abundantly? I ask this 5-year-old boy to draw a heart. He doesn’t draw the complicated biological heart with veins and blood streams but he takes out his red crayon to draw a gigantic ‘lovely’ heart on an A-4 sheet and then colour it all red. He is innocent and doesn’t know how our hearts have blackened over the years. Without any proof, you call Muslims terrorists. Without any knowledge of their Holy Book, you accuse their religion of preaching hate and war. If terrorists in this world give a bad name to Jihad, did you ever take the initiative to ‘Google’ the word ‘Jihad’? No! You didn’t because you are happy with what Media is feeding you with. You are contented to be a blind-follower. Then why don’t you invite Zombies over and let them take your brains? At least, somebody will get fed.

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Be Inspired (Today And Everyday)

Evening People,

In this busy schedule, I am not likely to end up with a lot of time for myself or my hobbies but I try to keep pace with everything along the way. So for today, a little update from ‘Global-Unison’ or ‘Naima’ – any way you know me. 

I came across this video around a week ago and I am extremely inspired with this man’s words (Darryl Anka, a channel for an extra-terrestrial, Bashar) so I decided to share it here.

We need to remind ourselves everyday that we deserve happiness and every right to exist in this world because we are an essential part of this world. Think of this world as a jigsaw puzzle and yourself as one of the pieces of that puzzle then without you, the puzzle would not complete. Pamper yourself and let yourself be loved. Be capable of giving and receiving love, be capable of being you. I hope you all find these words inspiring too and this reminds you of how precious every second of our life is. 

Life is short, love living it and let all the odds be in your favor! 

The Power of Choice or Fear : You CHOOSE!

It’s not easy to give up on one’s thoughts. Especially if something is haunting you and coming back to you in forms of dreams, daunting thoughts and much more. There comes a time in everybody’s life that they require to acquire the standards to stand steadfast in the face of life telling it to “piss off“;  cause no matter how much it scares them, not thinking about it leave about even deadly scars beneath their skin. Life and love goes parallel to each other. Most of the times, the junctions for both of the journeys might be the same yet one decision can lead to drastic changes in the course of journey you’ve been planning ahead since a long time. My life is no different. It brought me up on a platform, where I had to choose. Choice is a crucial word – it’s a war. It either destroys or builds up the future in one second – as easy as blinking yet consequences come with a great price. That makes me go back to think why Robert Frost chose the path ‘less travelled by’. He knew his sense of choice would matter; it would change what he wanted and needed in his future life.

Not that this is the first time that I had to choose. I am 19, I have made many choices until now but I don’t regret any. Instead, we all make many choices on daily basis, don’t we? Not every choice I made had led to what I desired, yet I don’t regret cause in one way or the other, they have taught me the lesson of “life”. Everything you desire is not exactly what you need but Almighty knows better how needs are required to be fulfilled before your wants and desires or the other times it is just that everything doesn’t come the easy way. Life is all about challenges, isn’t it? On the dark morning of October 1st, 2013; I knew what was to last for no longer within me. A part of me that will be taken away forever and may be this time I could regret given how my future has been framed by my destiny. I believe in changing the destiny with one’s actions and good will but there are times when you stand helpless against the massive blow of Nature. This time, I adored what I have been bestowed with but regardless how much I loved and adored for being chosen for the blessing, I couldn’t keep it – I had to choose; a choice to deny the happiness for the sake of fear. This time, it wasn’t solely my choice, another being was involved with me and that being’s choices substantially made a difference. However, I would never blame the choices made by that being. Our decisions were mutual; I let go of my happiness with my very own hands because of the fear element dominating the situation – it was my choice to honor the way I have lived my life until now.

Life is short, love living it and let all the odds be in your favor! Have a good productive day!

 

Mighty Love()

Lonely yet I believe in love,
Sad yet I believe in happiness,
Evil yet I believe in good,
Wrong yet I believe in right,
Foolish yet I believe in wisdom,
Coward yet I believe in courage,
A loser yet I believe in victory,
I believe in me – I believe in my odds,
I recreate myself whenever I want,
I encourage my versatility,
I loathe those who judge,
I cherish my strengths,
I treasure my guts,
Love me, love yourself and love us,
We are different – noble and blessed,
Leave the hatred behind – do not judge,
This world is a small place for a grudge.

Immortality

Once upon a time, I believed in Magic 
When life was at its best to escape the tragic 
When dreams were lived in the reality 
When humankind was charged for its brutality 

Once upon a time, I believed in Life
When I discovered the path to my soul
When I realized I could rock and roll
When I fondly cherished my every goal 

Once upon a time, I believed in Love 
When I glared at the stars in the sky above 
When I persuaded myself to endeavor the nature 
When I saw my life’s very first dove 

Once upon a time, I believed in You 
When ‘Y’ were your dreams 
When ‘O’ were our obsessions 
When ‘U’ considered ultimately yourself 

But now, I believe in myself 
I believe in the fairy-tale to reveal itself 
I believe in the strength of love to overtake my reality
I believe to sow seeds of magic and embrace immortality

Happy Mothers Day (UK Version)

My super-mum when she was super-young!

I have grown up celebrating “Mothers Day” on the second Sunday of May since ever but this time there is a twist in the story. I realized that England celebrates its mother’s day on the second Sunday of March and so I decided there is no harm in celebrating mother’s day twice a year instead it is a TREAT (for my mother specifically). But there is a villain to this story too and that is “Time”. My mother isn’t with me today (in England) and so she wont be on the Mother’s day in May though I know that regardless she wont be physically with me, her love and prayers are always with me.

The hustle and bustle in the stores, grocery markets (Especially Card Factory) on this very weekend is worth mentioning. People choosing cards for their mommy, granny etc and I felt miserable and happy at the same time. Happy for many would have their mothers right with them to cherish this special  day and miserable cause I was jealous or rather envious – I was envious of their happiness.

Mothers are the embodiment of God on this planet(at least that’s what I’ve believed for ever). There are no adjectives that can describe how great a mother is but we can always try – try to tribute her and make her feel special; not on just one special day but every day in our very own way. She should know that she is always cherished, her presence is a significant trademark in our lives, love for her is eternal and even if it is that we have to present our lives at stake to honor her, we will!

This woman who we call our “Mother” starts to feel us way too before we become tangible for her. She knows us well enough even before giving birth to us. Those nine months are her celebration, she counts down to the big day when she could finally touch her baby. The baby she had been awaiting since long when every day was a pain blended with happiness. She protects her baby for life exactly like her womb has protected the baby for nine months. Our mums are all the very same in a very different way. Some are strict, some are lenient, some are emotional, some are harsh and the list goes on but what unites them is they all love us – just enough that even if the whole world hates us, her love would be sufficient for the warmth and care needed.

These two ladies are the most beautiful beings on earth!
My mommy and sissy ❤

My mom is a super-mom! Incredibly loving, caring, cheerful, emotional, compassionate, fierce, patient, kind, generous, warm-hearted, strong, beautiful, wise, my mentor, my bestie and the list goes on and on until I conclude it – she is a role model for me and I would always want to be a mother like her. I am very fortunate to have her in my life. The distance over the time has taught me many lessons. I wake up to my ringing alarm clock in the morning and miss looking at her angelic face for the very first thing in morning. I eat yogurt every morning and would buy her favorite cereal “Weetabix” cause I miss arguing over the breakfast with her that I don’t like eating yogurt or Weetabix for breakfast no matter how nutritious it is. I miss our “girlie” conversations and gossips. I miss when nobody is there to see me off when I leave for school. I miss her teasing me over my so-called big nose. I miss her calling me those nick names when I’d get real annoyed to attack her and she’d tickle me despite of the fact she knows that I am not ticklish. I miss cooking and baking with her when I’d be giving her tips on fashion and fitness and she’d be telling me to focus on cooking before she could smell something burning. I miss those long nights when she would toss and turn in bed cause something is bothering her and all she would need is a good massage, a considerate ear and a hot cup of milk and when I’d do it for her, she’d kiss my forehead and would tell me that I am her princess. I miss when she’d pinch me when I am on the verge to spit out her secret(unintentionally) in front of my dad. I miss her confused expressions while I’d teach her to use laptops, smart phones or even an I pod. I miss “HER”. I have realized her importance in my life even more in these few months while I have been away from her. She is my lovely mommy and I miss her every day and every night and I know she misses me way more than I can ever miss her but we love each other the most.

Find some time to spend  with her and let her know that you love her cause the arms of the clock would never turn back and the last thing you’d ever want to do on this planet would be “Regret”. Love her, respect her, honor her and make her feel special before it’s too late. Tell her she is your super-mom and your life may be super-busy and super-occupied but you always have some super-time every day for your super-mom! Cheers!

For One Good Reason<

For one good reason, I turned around, 
The threat gripped my heart as it sound,
The fear that I’d fell off on the ground, 
The answers to my reality which were never found. 

I embraced my life the way it was, 
For one good reason, I wanted to break the laws, 
I kept breathing until a silent pause, 
Misery swept away and so did my clause. 

For one good reason, I never looked away, 
The threat that night would darken my life stayed, 
The fear trembled me that I’d never see sun the next day, 
The key to misery clutched the period of my decay. 

I lifted myself for one last time, 
I risked my life ahead of crime, 
While preparing for that one last climb, 
I realized my heart chimed. 

For one good reason, I lived my life, 
I laughed, chuckled and genuinely smiled, 
I slashed my wrist to let the dead blood cells ooze the agony, 
The fears and threats were driven away by my mind’s symphony. 

Since that day, I lived my life to the extreme,
Personified my choices to challenge my self esteem,
I joined every single dot to dream my life’s theme,
Cause’ for one more time, my soul beamed. 

Beyond The Vision!

When I was a little girl, the world around me was like a bubble. I now think, if I would have popped my finger out of that bubble in those days, the world would have not been observed as a merry-go-round by me. A small girl who bombarded her parents with a “WHY”, “HOW” and “WHEN” frequently and who was fearless to burst the bubble and come face to face with the ruthless reality pertaining in the society; but Alas! The vindictive time, it always has a great timing! At the age of 4, this girl asked her teacher, “Ma’am, why can’t birds speak?” That day her teacher told her that every WHY in the world can not be answered and due to the undeveloped brain cells which failed to analyze the answer in the appropriate manner, that answer of the teacher was saved as a permanent file in ROM of her brain that could never be removed. Whenever, she faced a situation or a question and as soon as her brain used to prepare her for asking WHY due to the perplexity, the same stored file used to bang her head at the right moment reminding her of the teacher’s answer. She laid in her bed every night wondering how the sky is standing without pillars when no building can. She marveled how the sun shines so brightly when the moon was merely the opposite. She was bewildered when she questioned herself why the sea is so immense that she can’t see the ending spot. The perplexed questions ended every night with an exposure to the unexpected valley of dreams. Hence, that is the time when this 4 year old girl started coming out of the sealed bubble. She now wanted to be a colorful butterfly which can fly and be responsible for her very own flight.

Some of my many journals!

This girl started developing wings and the bubble was harmed every time her wings flapped at any instant. She lived in the world of her QUESTIONNAIRE. The questions, she kept to herself which were ultimately the reason for the quest to discover and explore beyond her knowledge. She wanted someone to hold up to her and answer her; she again faced hard time analyzing which medium could be the safest. Yeah, her wit clicked, why not her very own mother; but again that permanently stored answer of the teacher amplified her mystification and that is when she discovered that there exist a PAPER and a PENCIL that can be her best friend and unlike any other beings on this planet, their mouths will be forever sealed. She was amazed to discover such an innovative idea and at the age of 8, she started maintaining her very own registers. She did not want anyone to know about her thoughts regarding anything; she wanted those journals to be as personal as her body was to her. She was unaware of the fact that an eight year old doll would not be given sufficient privacy to survive and hence would be intruded more than once if the hidden registers came across the eyes of her guardians. She tried her level best to never let anybody know that she writes to release the burden off her shoulders; she carried those registers in her bag every time with an unpleasant fear of her thoughts becoming publicized.

Around the corner, this truth was not concealed for a very long time and she found her mother reading one of her private journal once she woke up from a very sound sleep. That was the first time she ever yelled at anybody. She was crying, she was blaming herself, she was regretting for choosing paper to be her best friend as it eventually showed its disloyalty. There was nothing confidential mentioned in those journals which could not be read by her mother but the very mutual thought of how untrustworthy even a non-living thing can be occupied her and this trauma didn’t end well. Her mother held her, caressed her, kissed her and embraced her collecting her entirely in her maternal arms where she sobbed for an eternity. She kept repeating the same line of how she hated herself. Within this phase, she realized one of her very good qualities that she doesn’t require an eternity to get over a mishap. Within two days, she was the same cheerful girl who lived in her own world with the same innocent heart building more question with every passing moment but now she did not have any best friend. At school, she was a quiet and shy girl who always succeeded in academics with a remarkable margin but showed no interest in any extra co-curricular activities. The time continued to pass by and taught her various lessons of life but she missed that unfaithful friend of hers – PAPER! The only thought that used to startle her was that why could she not forgive her best friend? After a year or so, she recovered and was friends with PAPER again. This time she wanted to be more aware of her mother not reading anything; she was now growing into an adolescent and the life was chasing her like she was a bone being chased by a starving dog. She continued filling sheets and sheets with her personal experiences, her daily affairs, how the world haunted her, how she wanted to be everything but not a wife (like her mother), how she wanted to explore the space and etc. The dreamy world was yet not over until 12, subsided with mature thoughts than her age-group. Even her dreamy world craved the meaning of life and the reason behind her existence. She often used to write about it when she entered into a very charming and alluring phase of any human’s life – TEENAGE!

Now this doll was 13; no more a doll indeed. She was a grown up girl who was ready to flap her wings open and explode the bubble confining her abilities. She flew swirling around the boundaries of life and exploded it with a charisma. Her teenage was abnormal or rather should I say it was normal because it was not the same boy-friends, drinks, clubs, pubs and dance floors that united her life and thrilled her but it was her escalating confidence that made her “UNIQUE” in the gatherings. Her parents were astounded themselves, she was paranormal with her brain grasping more than required for her age. She was no more a shy doll but a confident and stunning girl who could sway around with daffodils and make the universe dance on her finger tips. She turned out to be a debater where her teachers encouraged her to debate frequently to enhance her inborn skills with the weapon of experience. The paper remained her best friend throughout; though it was disloyal at times but she realized how her best friend could be someone else’s friend too. Her acquaintances called her arrogant, rude, she was blamed for her attitude when all she did was smile – her gleaming eyes smiled to their remarks. She was blessed with an enriched soul, all her job was to nourish it with plenty of resources in order to live up to what is expected of her by the world as well as Him.  

Let you soul be free like a flying bird because ETERNITY lives in there.

This girl is ordinary just like YOU. A compassionate soul living in everybody – the only difference between YOU and her is she listened and responded to her soul since the day it called out to her; she was accomplishing what she was asked for by her Almighty. This is a time to catch the right bus at the right station and listen to your blaring soul, let the questions seep your heart, get a medium to express yourself and immortal soul BUT be aware of the hazards and obstacles on your way because no accomplishment can be achieved without the audacity to try. Live every moment in a sacred way cause neither can you trust your breath nor your life – this little doll gave us the same message of how to never trust the voices you hear from your ears but trust the sole voice that you can hear from the ears of your heart and soul – the voice of Eternity.