Day 17: What’s your most proud moment?

A day before my flight to England (for the first time), my parents had this little talk with me. A part of that conversation was somewhat like:

‘Our little girl has grown up. It has been a pleasure upbringing ‘you’. Thank you for making us proud’.

I was out of words at that point because my emotions spoke the language of tears.

I would really like to take this opportunity to thank my family for always being by my side. I couldn’t have asked for anything better in my life.

It’s an old picture of my parents (about 25 years ago) when they were newly married.

Until my next post, Live, Love, Inspire & (don’t forget to) Smile. Believe in yourself and you can conquer all your fears.

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Photo Source: All Rights Reserved With: https://www.globalunison.wordpress.com

Day 14: If you won the Lottery..

Lottery eh? It’s an interesting thought.

I will give the money to my parents. Period.

Probably, I’d like to thank God by taking a portion out of it and spending it on charitable purposes. I believe that whatever we have, we owe some part of it to the less fortunate as humanity is all about caring and brotherhood — world-is-one-big-family concept. Although, if the money is given to my parents, that’s the first thing they’d do as well given my knowledge.

Until next time, Live, Love, Inspire & (don’t forget to) Smile. Believe in yourself and you can conquer all your fears.

Settling into UK!

Hey ya fellas! I apologize sincerely for vanishing for a week or so but I had to or rather I put it like this that I was too much messed up in the emotional trauma that I was going through that it made it difficult for me to inform my lovely family here! I have read too many posts on Renard’s blog expressing his miserable feelings for the bloggers who vanish without explaining the cause and though I have had a sincere readership around yet I failed to inform you all and that is why I feel awful so apologies, apologies and apologies! And I hope its granted now!

My books – Business, Mathematics, English (Three subjects for this term which ends on December 7th 2012)

Now the question is where have I been? Interesting question! I am no more in my country but in England for my studies i.e my undergraduate program! The previous week was crucial! I covered 6 chapters of Business Studies and 5 chapters of Mathematics and submitted the project of Business on Friday and wrote the maths test on Thursday (which was nearly perfect!) Apart from studies which are smooth enough now after a rushing week because I arrived two weeks later than the starting date (Another story why I was late – briefly, I turned 18 in August and it took longer for my identity card to get to me and as soon as I got through it, I filed my visa and fortunately I received my visa in 5 working days!)

Clouds forming before it starts to rain or rather drizzle! I love the smoky skies in here – this place is romantic! (lol)

Settling into UK – not a problem at all! Lovely people out there in almost freezing weather and yeah romance pouring my heart with the rain tickling my face! According to me, it never rains in here instead it drizzles! I like the feeling of walking on the lonely and empty streets aimlessly trying to figure out where I have to go. I love getting lost and then finding my way back again and the sweetheart babies you see all around you; almost perfect but I miss my family terribly! The most difficult part is when you sit all alone by yourself trying to eat but you can’t cause you miss your family’s dinning table, your parent’s arguments and siblings chit chat and funny pranks! I have to cry to myself because if I will be weak, my mum will certainly be not better! My room is okay – thankfully it is my room only so I do not have to share it with anybody even being on university’s accommodation!

I carried it all the way from Morrisons to my room – those 15 minutes were hell!

Plenty of stories in my head and I want to let all of them out! My flight was 7 hours delayed and I got to know it on Dubai International Airport when some Italian guy (whose English accent was a terrible pain for my ears) told me how they do not have enough passengers to fly to Birmingham! I simply never knew how Emirates could ditch me like this but those 7 hours were an incredible experience. The sense of responsibility that ensured me how I had grown up and can do everything independently now. Those 7 hours when I had to look after my money, my luggage, keep contact with my parents, resisting the sleep when I was up for more than 24 hours and what not. Dubai Internstional Airport was my first examination and with His cooperation, I succeeded it like a victorious warrior! I reached my accommodation at 11:00 pm on October 12th and the very next day I realized I had to do my grocery all on my own (which I had never done before) and I had to walk like crazies! Yeah, I missed my driver and at times my car as well but with time walking was a pleasure instead I discovered how I can observe many things minutely when I walk and see the world without technology!  I have been to city center twice and I kinda bought many things though I am not a shopaholic at all but I guess that was the need cause UK is kinda freezing and will continue to freeze more and more with every passing day! Primark, H&M, Topshop, Zara’s, Integration,  Evans – you name it and I am sure I have been there! I am still discovering good restaurants though right now Subway and my own cooking skills had help me enough!

World Of Coins!

The very big change for me was MONEY! Amazing! It took me almost a week to learn about currency, coins, pence and I am still on my way to learn more about them! We had maids back in home to do everything, from ironing clothes to polishing shoes and almost everything. Now, I wake up 2 hours before I have to leave so I can iron my clothes and look about my shoes and then leave almost 40 minutes before because it is a 20 to 25 minutes walk to my school from my accommodation and I leave the margin of 20 minutes in case of any accident (God Forbid) I never imagined how time would play with me and change me within a week! I thought I was careless (clutz) and may be I still am but I don’t see it. The very big problem for me is to look about my keys and wallet; back in my home country I never had a wallet! All I ever did was slip few bucks in my jeans but wallet – NO!

Talking about Leicester, it is not a busy city like London but it is still busy enough. Traffic can prove you and when you see Audi and Mercedes cars out there, you are like Woahh!! (Just Kidding) It is like a Mini China in here cause you will find so many Chinese people! Okay, they are Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Nepalese but all of them look almost same so you can never ever tell who they are! Now what I am fed up of is every other person asking me if I am from AMERICA! I am not boasting about myself but hundreds of men and women have asked me if I am from America because they say my accent is American and when I tell them from Pakistan, I see their eyes bulging out as if I have said that I am the president of US. Excuse me, get a life – my school’s principal will kill me if she gets to know how I am receiving such a comment because we are taught British English then HOW THE EFFING HELL I POSSIBLY CAN SOUND LIKE AN AMERICAN? Does that even make sense? The very first person to tell me was a guy on the plane, then the immigration lady(until she saw my passport), then this surgeon I met in the grocery store, then almost every receptionist on the university information desk, the receptionist guy on the accommodation information desk, cashiers in the shopping malls and I am tired of giving them that look to not repeat it! You know how is it like? Let me demonstrate, consider I am talking to a lady who is the saleswoman of H&M;

Naima: Excuse me, Can I see this?

Saleswoman: Yeah sure!

Naima: Thank you (Smiling) – But I don’t want heels you see.

Saleswoman: Oh! Are you from America? You have an American Accent!

Naima: (A crucial look and then a smile and says with grinding teeth) Everybody says so though I don’t know why!

Pasta – Cooked on Friday, 19th October 2012!

Chicken and Capsicums – Cooked on Saturday, 20th October 2012!

Chicken and Vegetable fried Rice – Cooked on Sunday, 21st October 2012!

I know at times it is a LOLing situation for me but I have to bear with it. I don’t mind being the way I am so back out! Another worse thing in here is that it is autumn and I hate to walk on the fallen leaves! I mean, why did they ever taught us that leaves are living beings because now I feel miserable when I see plenty of them lying on the floor and I have to walk over them! I feel guilty at times and curse my science teachers for being so mean back then when I was 9 or 10. I started cooking like 3 days back that means from this weekend cause I had to buy my cooking pans and everything and I think I am doing pretty well if I eliminate comparing it with my mommy’s food! Of course, she is a professional! I see old couples being too romantic – holding hands and linking arms and I go back in my memory to recall when did my parents or even grand parents did it last time in front of me! I adore the people here, their innocence and the love they share through their smiles! (Believe me or not, I am almost smiling to everybody on my way; exclude the young guys please cause they will take a different meaning out of it)

Cooking and eating – a good time pass; need no friends! (lol)

Briefly, I enjoy in here. It is an adventure ride. Lazy mornings in my bright room with a chilly wind that knocks me down and I stretch my arms thinking if I can see some other faces than Chinese (Just kidding – no hard feelings please but the fact is there are too many Chinese out here and I appreciate their love for education) As expected, no friends yet but I think with time, I will be okay. I talk to a Singaporean girl in my class *Ann* who has a boy friend so she is too busy with him all the time but she is a great girl to talk to and I have been lately talking to this Canadian guy *Marcus* who has explained me the maths and business problems that I have not understood after reading on my own! He had been a great helping hand but again it is just a hello-hey with them; they are not yet friends! I am too bad at it, I know but I hope to do good!

PS– I know I have missed out whole a lot on reading the blogs I follow but I will try to manage it out whenever possible! Thank you for the support and cooperation as always! It is greatly appreciated! Stay blessed!

Beyond The Vision!

When I was a little girl, the world around me was like a bubble. I now think, if I would have popped my finger out of that bubble in those days, the world would have not been observed as a merry-go-round by me. A small girl who bombarded her parents with a “WHY”, “HOW” and “WHEN” frequently and who was fearless to burst the bubble and come face to face with the ruthless reality pertaining in the society; but Alas! The vindictive time, it always has a great timing! At the age of 4, this girl asked her teacher, “Ma’am, why can’t birds speak?” That day her teacher told her that every WHY in the world can not be answered and due to the undeveloped brain cells which failed to analyze the answer in the appropriate manner, that answer of the teacher was saved as a permanent file in ROM of her brain that could never be removed. Whenever, she faced a situation or a question and as soon as her brain used to prepare her for asking WHY due to the perplexity, the same stored file used to bang her head at the right moment reminding her of the teacher’s answer. She laid in her bed every night wondering how the sky is standing without pillars when no building can. She marveled how the sun shines so brightly when the moon was merely the opposite. She was bewildered when she questioned herself why the sea is so immense that she can’t see the ending spot. The perplexed questions ended every night with an exposure to the unexpected valley of dreams. Hence, that is the time when this 4 year old girl started coming out of the sealed bubble. She now wanted to be a colorful butterfly which can fly and be responsible for her very own flight.

Some of my many journals!

This girl started developing wings and the bubble was harmed every time her wings flapped at any instant. She lived in the world of her QUESTIONNAIRE. The questions, she kept to herself which were ultimately the reason for the quest to discover and explore beyond her knowledge. She wanted someone to hold up to her and answer her; she again faced hard time analyzing which medium could be the safest. Yeah, her wit clicked, why not her very own mother; but again that permanently stored answer of the teacher amplified her mystification and that is when she discovered that there exist a PAPER and a PENCIL that can be her best friend and unlike any other beings on this planet, their mouths will be forever sealed. She was amazed to discover such an innovative idea and at the age of 8, she started maintaining her very own registers. She did not want anyone to know about her thoughts regarding anything; she wanted those journals to be as personal as her body was to her. She was unaware of the fact that an eight year old doll would not be given sufficient privacy to survive and hence would be intruded more than once if the hidden registers came across the eyes of her guardians. She tried her level best to never let anybody know that she writes to release the burden off her shoulders; she carried those registers in her bag every time with an unpleasant fear of her thoughts becoming publicized.

Around the corner, this truth was not concealed for a very long time and she found her mother reading one of her private journal once she woke up from a very sound sleep. That was the first time she ever yelled at anybody. She was crying, she was blaming herself, she was regretting for choosing paper to be her best friend as it eventually showed its disloyalty. There was nothing confidential mentioned in those journals which could not be read by her mother but the very mutual thought of how untrustworthy even a non-living thing can be occupied her and this trauma didn’t end well. Her mother held her, caressed her, kissed her and embraced her collecting her entirely in her maternal arms where she sobbed for an eternity. She kept repeating the same line of how she hated herself. Within this phase, she realized one of her very good qualities that she doesn’t require an eternity to get over a mishap. Within two days, she was the same cheerful girl who lived in her own world with the same innocent heart building more question with every passing moment but now she did not have any best friend. At school, she was a quiet and shy girl who always succeeded in academics with a remarkable margin but showed no interest in any extra co-curricular activities. The time continued to pass by and taught her various lessons of life but she missed that unfaithful friend of hers – PAPER! The only thought that used to startle her was that why could she not forgive her best friend? After a year or so, she recovered and was friends with PAPER again. This time she wanted to be more aware of her mother not reading anything; she was now growing into an adolescent and the life was chasing her like she was a bone being chased by a starving dog. She continued filling sheets and sheets with her personal experiences, her daily affairs, how the world haunted her, how she wanted to be everything but not a wife (like her mother), how she wanted to explore the space and etc. The dreamy world was yet not over until 12, subsided with mature thoughts than her age-group. Even her dreamy world craved the meaning of life and the reason behind her existence. She often used to write about it when she entered into a very charming and alluring phase of any human’s life – TEENAGE!

Now this doll was 13; no more a doll indeed. She was a grown up girl who was ready to flap her wings open and explode the bubble confining her abilities. She flew swirling around the boundaries of life and exploded it with a charisma. Her teenage was abnormal or rather should I say it was normal because it was not the same boy-friends, drinks, clubs, pubs and dance floors that united her life and thrilled her but it was her escalating confidence that made her “UNIQUE” in the gatherings. Her parents were astounded themselves, she was paranormal with her brain grasping more than required for her age. She was no more a shy doll but a confident and stunning girl who could sway around with daffodils and make the universe dance on her finger tips. She turned out to be a debater where her teachers encouraged her to debate frequently to enhance her inborn skills with the weapon of experience. The paper remained her best friend throughout; though it was disloyal at times but she realized how her best friend could be someone else’s friend too. Her acquaintances called her arrogant, rude, she was blamed for her attitude when all she did was smile – her gleaming eyes smiled to their remarks. She was blessed with an enriched soul, all her job was to nourish it with plenty of resources in order to live up to what is expected of her by the world as well as Him.  

Let you soul be free like a flying bird because ETERNITY lives in there.

This girl is ordinary just like YOU. A compassionate soul living in everybody – the only difference between YOU and her is she listened and responded to her soul since the day it called out to her; she was accomplishing what she was asked for by her Almighty. This is a time to catch the right bus at the right station and listen to your blaring soul, let the questions seep your heart, get a medium to express yourself and immortal soul BUT be aware of the hazards and obstacles on your way because no accomplishment can be achieved without the audacity to try. Live every moment in a sacred way cause neither can you trust your breath nor your life – this little doll gave us the same message of how to never trust the voices you hear from your ears but trust the sole voice that you can hear from the ears of your heart and soul – the voice of Eternity. 

Your family is your first Ministry!

August 12^th 1996 – a two-year old little girl surely did not know the significance of this date at such a young age yet she celebrated it every year (and will continue to) since the day she knew what birthdays were and whose birth date made this date special. Well, if you guys (I mean both gals and fellas) are thinking to apply brakes to the present and dive into the history books or lectures you must have received in past from your history teachers then take a deep breath – I am not talking about anything such as that yet I will astound you with how every date is special within itself.

Umair’s (my brother’s) sweet sixteenth!!

Except of some breathtaking facts like the only silent film “Wings” won an Oscar for best picture in 1927 on the very same date of August 12th, Soviet Union conducted a secret test of its 1st hydrogen bomb in 1953 on the same date, William Shatner was married to Gloria Rand on August 12th 1956 (yeah, its lame but spare me without smacking me down), the very first time two people were in space in 1962 on August 12th, China & Japan signed a peace treaty in 1978, the very first IBM Personal Computer was released on the very same date (12^th August) in 1981 and in 1996 I was blessed with a new-born baby – of course I can’t be a mother at the age of two but a baby brother was warmly welcomed!! Two years younger than me – not even exactly two; just a one day less than 2 because he is 12^th August and me 13^th! Celebrating birthday together is utmost fun but this time it was something special – it was his “SWEET SIXTEENTH”! This post is going to be informal so anyone who wishes to kick me or punch me in my gut ; all of you are warmly welcome to email me but the emotional and exhilarating episode yet have to gear up!

Left to Right : Me, Umair (the birthday boy) and Atif (my other brother)
Love them to the core!

Well, it was his sweet sixteenth and my eighteenth so August 2012 was much awaited since New Year (or may be even before)! His birthday was a blast! I surprised him at the midnight with some balloons and a cake and party crackers so I can just blew him off his seat and make him wonder at how super awesome his siblings are! I am sure he felt it but he didn’t feel comfortable to express his happiness and there was a reason behind that too. His O levels result was expected on August 13^th (my birthday) so he was all anxious about the upcoming result and least concerned to take part in the celebrations of his birthday blast. At times, I asked him to smile and be confident about how his hard work and struggle would be paid back but all I received was a “GRIN” or may be some words under his breath (can be curse words too for releasing down the pressure in the most abnormal way) or it was an outburst like “SHUT UP” or “DUHH” – anyway whatever it was; it made me go all crazy to tease him more and more! He slept around 3 in the morning (mum and dad were certainly snoring in their bed by that time) and before that he was praying for himself like geeks! I even teased him that if he would have put this much effort before exams in his studies then he would have not been this worried – he hated me for pulling his leg from time to time but isn’t it all we call “THE SIBLING’S LOVE”! I even offered him a drive though I did not have my driving license as there was still a day to go to be 18 but he refused and I think he missed out the fun we would have had wandering from street to street playing with the peace of night. After all, he slept at 3 am and I was all curious to make the day special for him. I made a card for him and packed him a digital camera and a perfume (Eternity for MEN) that I had bought for him earlier – I hoped he would love it. I then slept around 6 in the morning and woke up before him to make some coffee muffins he loves. Few hours later, when he was smiling and laughing I was contented. It is always a different feeling to see your young boy smiling and laughing; a feeling of contentment and delight embraces the soul when you succeed to paint a smile across his face – when they smile, the efforts are worth it. I was on cloud nine as I have had succeeded to make him forget the anxiety of his upcoming result. He loved the presents whole-heartedly (greatly expected, who wouldn’t have had? – I was saving for an eternity to buy him those things). After all, the day ended and I captured his smiles in my head as I knew I would be away from them very soon (my university starting and I have to move to Leicester, England). There was no surprise for me at midnight but million calls and my parent’s and sibling’s hugs and wishes made it special in itself – I cherished each and every moment as I wondered if I would be here to celebrate my next birthday; all I did the entire time was resisted myself to not spill a tear because I didn’t want my mommy to get upset or overwhelming at this particular day!

I love my mum!!
PS– This is an old picture around a year and a half ago!

Don’t forget, when I write there is always a message concealed and this time there is one too. Family is family and there is no alternative for family – neither your boy-friend/girl-friend nor your friends because your parents are a treasure in disguise. You may not realize their worth in their life time but once they abandon you then the thousand wishes in the wish-well can’t bring them back so love them now for who they are and thank them for supporting you throughout without any selfish means. Your siblings are your very best friends; they make the world around you beautiful and amusing – the fun and enjoyment you have with them is an exciting priceless adventure that in no way can be compared to anything in this universe. They understand you and defend you even when you are wrong; take your blames on their own shoulders even at the age of six; argue with parents and the world around to prove you right – their presence is a blessing for which you should be grateful everyday.  I read it somewhere and it fascinated me a lot and so I will share it with you.

BOY-FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

GIRL-FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

FRIEND = Look at the last three words – END.

FAMILY = Look at the last three words – ILY – I LOVE YOU.

Amazing, isn’t it? I love my family and their presence is a blessing for me for which I am thankful to Almighty and will be throughout my life! I pray for their protection from evil and health and happiness. Amen. Do not forget to pray for your family everyday; they should be your very first priority so if you are done reading it and haven’t talked to your parents or siblings (even daughters or sons for the matter) since a while then call them up and let them know that they will always be cherished. This world is not a place for hatred instead it should be the aroma of love spreading far and wide; hence forget the old wounds and take an initiative to cradle your relationships and knot a new thread if you have not been in contact with your family and if my words aren’t convincing then remember your childhood days – I am sure you will be rushing to grab the phone then!

Relationship Trauma!

NOTE: Thank you so much for keeping a track to my site even when I was not posting, the stats are evident. Thank you for the shower of those beautiful mails who wanted to inquire about my NO-POSTING season, your care and love for me moved me to the core and that is how I planned on updating the blog today in spite of the busy schedule – your over-whelming love can break the barriers of the cold working schedule. I am blessed to have a bunch of sincere readers who seek my work and look up to me. Thank you once again for all the mails, they are worth million gems and I will surely be getting back to each one of them. I hope that my readers can compromise on my delayed posting though I will try to post at least once a day and if not possible then at least once in three days. The posting may be affected but I ensure that the reading hours won’t be reduced – all the blogs I follow will be read and fed with likes and comments where necessary. Thank you for the cooperation.

 

It has been three years, two months, twenty-seven days, seven hours, five minutes and thirty-seven seconds (to the date) when I met him for the first time. I was always pretty precise about our timings as it was always a treat to make him feel special with such remarkable moves that helped me look at him gaping with surprise at how perfect I was at times especially when it was concerned with him. I never intended to sound over-efficient or behave over-smartly but my target was to feed him with pleasure and happiness all at once. The stories of his past haunted him every now and then and I believed that it was my responsibility to ensure him that he was cherished and his present was much better than what he had expected of his future in the past. My efforts always wanted to pursue the desires of his heart so that he could feel the warmth and passion of love burning within me for him – his appearance may not be the factor for why was I attracted towards him but certainly his soul was primarily a key reason for my helpless condition. Despite of all my efforts, I believe I lack immensely from time to time. This feeling first bothered me when I realized that his way of expression and the incredible charm was fading – it was not my sight which has to be blamed but he really was changing. I did not have the nerve to ask him if he was not interested in continuing what we had between us – a blend of friendship that was transforming into love on my part and I was unaware of how his heart would respond to my feelings. The change in attitude is always evident and with time I saw his attitude rusting. I feared to let go of him – how would I ever feel if he would someday introduce me to the love of his life unaware of how my heart raced for him incredibly. How could he ever deny that when he called me beautiful, I blushed because there is really something happening deep down within me when he praises me. How could he not know that when we linked arms and walked together at the Christmas party of the school for the first time, I felt like a fairy-tale princess and I wanted to pause the life at that very moment to glance at him for eternity. Was he really unaware of my feelings unless I expressed myself in those three letter essential yet worthless words? How could I ever forget that moment when he said: “Darling, I was waiting for an eternity to hear it. Oh my goodness, I love you so much too”. He embraced me and I felt secured in his arms – first time ever after my daddy was gone and never held on to my finger because of his lousy second wife and her sons that comparatively seemed better to him than me and my mum. I can never compare him to my dad as I never found him a moral person but this guy; he was beyond morality for me.  Unfortunately, we always are immature and perceptive when the mind stops functioning and it is the chords of heart that tunes in to write the lyrics of our love song. He repeatedly betrayed me whenever he said that he loved me and I was such a fool that I actually believed him every time his cold gray eyes deceived me with the floral words he uttered. I have no idea what was my ranking on his list but he was the first one for me and the last one too (This thought was shaken when he left me all on my own at the eleventh hour)

 

Doubtlessly, he treated me exceptionally. He lived in the hostel of the campus as his home was situated in some other city but he would always walk me to my home which was a 15 minutes walk from the school campus. He would often slip his arm around my waist to hold me against him firmly or would hold my hand tracing my fingers gently on our way to home. Everything he did was charismatic or may be I was new to flirting even at the age of 19. We went to the cinema a couple of times together and all he did was look at me; I would punch his well-built chest muscles as I was shy but he used to sit there looking at me the entire time and laugh out loud when I used to sob gently (on an emotional scene) with my tears fluttering on my cheeks and then he would gently press his pinky finger against my cheeks to wipe away the tears. When we used to head out of the cinema, he always babbled about my red rosy cheeks – rosy was the word he used for my cheeks. He knew that if I would laugh or cry I will turn red like a tomato within a second and this was one reason he used to call me “Rose” so that he can tease me with his enthralling smile and lure me with his appealing flirtiest voice. He always encouraged my natural looks – he thought ”NO-MAKEUP”  made me stand above all the girls in our school and he repetitively mentioned how he loved me for my simplicity. His gentle kisses on my forehead when he would cup my face in his hands always enhanced my confidence and strengthened my love for him. The first time he ever kissed me on my lips was stupendous – for a moment I thought life was at a standstill as if I was drawn away from this world to the Heavens and I enjoyed a flight with angels. It was quick but this was the first time I could smell his Tony & Guy gel cream, his strong after shave and the strawberry cologne that enchanted me to remain like this forever. He was a gentleman – I realized it when he plunged his gray eyes into my chocolate brown and uttered the three magical words for the last time. Are you wondering where did he go? I don’t know myself. After our graduation, he ensured me that we would marry and he would do all he can to make me meet his parents. One day after two months he called on my landline – I ripped open my heart and started screaming at him over the receiver. I cursed him for being out of contact, for switching off his cell phone and simultaneously I cursed myself for not taking his home address, if that could have been one way to be in contact through postal cards and letters! After listening to me calmly, he uttered in the cold voice (an anonymous voice I was unaware of), “We can not work out. I think we should part our ways”. The receiver dropped from my hand and I was shaken from head to toe. I didn’t have the strength to uplift myself and I fell onto the ground when my toe hit the corner of the table and my toe-nail was scraped from the corner oozing the red liquid that was none of my concern anymore – my heart was bleeding much more than what drenched the bottom of my trousers and spilled on the floor. I got up and dug myself in bed – not just for one day but for many days that continued for several months but my mum’s patience always fed me with the stamina to bear the hardships coming my way. I tried calling him twice on the same number from where he had called but it was a local phone booth number in Edinburgh. He was sly to never leave a trace of him in my life and vanish like a shooting star.

 

A story like this or multiple stories with various differences are being heard every day by us or one of our colleagues. What do we do after hearing them? Feel pity for them?? The root of the problem in anyway does not focus on the betrayal with girls specifically but it focuses on the “STRATEGY OF A RELATIONSHIP” – there could be a guy in this girl’s place too cursing the turmoil of the past. Previously, I have been going through various blogs where girls and guys write their heart out. They believe that writing can help them with the speedy recovery; well doubtlessly this is a good idea but there are certain remedies that can help heal the open wounds or instead help you be aware of the relationships before hand.

 

There are five BEWARES I will list under their respective headings to counter once you think that the relationship you desire should be serious:

FREEDOM GRANTED:

Once you are committed, the possessiveness should be under control. Let the other person breathe at least. Life and love is not about tying your loved ones instead the more you allow freedom the more trust is promoted within a relationship. Suspicion should be kept aside as this is one tool that should never be used throughout the life time.

 

SOCIAL CIRCLE IS NECESSARY:

There are majority of the love cases where they give up their healthy social life because the charm of each other’s arms is much more thrilling than partying out with friends on a beach party. This idea may not sound lame but once the relationship does not turn out to be long-termed, life is no less than a hell when you do not have friends around to support you. However, friends and a lover should have their respective places and the time should be accordingly divided.

ACADEMICS:

For students and teenagers who willingly involve themselves in love mantras during their studying years is not at all a good idea. There is an age and time period for everything. This love factor encourages you to compromise on the part of your academics which as a result affects your grades; hence even if a relationship is serious in your career years, make sure you have bound circle set around you or a time table to help you plan out everything requiring your immediate attention.

LOVE IS NOT LIFE:

People who can not recover over a relationship or goes in a certain painful trauma are usually the ones who are new to the world of “LOVE”. Either it may be the first time they have been serious regarding a relationship or it must have been their first long-termed relationship. Whatever the reason may be, make sure life and love are two separate key words. Love happens in LIFE. Therefore, life is a primary word and it should be lived and cherished with or without love from a lover. After all, love encounters are a part of the life time but life itself is a one-go blessing!

INVOLVE PARENTS:

Once you think that the relationship is pretty serious, involve your parents. If one side is reluctant to involve parents, make sure you get through the reason and if there is no reason then obviously there is a sour smell of your rotting relationship. Therefore, if both are willing to involve parents, this is a very good sign for a healthy relationship. The meeting of your loved one with your parents would help you take an advice from them who usually are more mature, practical and experienced regarding these matters.

REMEDIES IF YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN DITCHED

A HEALING PEN:

Write your heart out on a piece of paper and burn the paper right in front of you or shred it into pieces. No need to keep a record of what you write and if you desire to keep a record or maintain a diary, it is ultimately as per on your own wishes. The key point is jotting down the wounds to let them heal. Once your heart is lightened from the burden of sorrow, you are good to go!

HANGING OUT:

After a break up, no one desires to expose themselves to the world of the embarrassment or rather they hate the sunshine as they believe the light of hope in their lives had vanished. In such a condition, compelling one’s self to go out and cherish nature helps in a million ways. Your mind wanders around the circumstances but nature engages your attention quite well. Even if friends are around they can be a pretty good treat too. Therefore, this compelling may sound like forcing one’s self but at the end of the day it helps you to heal fast.

THANKING THE ALMIGHTY:

In such circumstances when we are suffering of sorrow and misery, all we are capable of is cursing God. This lame act consequently reminds me of how we can stop thanking Him for ending the unpleasant trauma at an early stage and after all He is the Creator – He would never take a bad decision for us. The trust and faith in Him always is a positive vibe to continue with life cheerfully.

CRYING DOES HELP:

At times, all we would desire is to cry until our tears are dry. Do as per the desires of your heart. Cry as much as you want. It helps in reducing the burden off your heart. At the end either you would fall asleep or feel better than what you felt before. Crying your heart out is a simple yet a great remedy.

DIVERT YOUR ATTENTION:

Indulge yourself in various activities to pursue your personal interest so you are not left with the long hours thinking about the turmoil of the past. Enroll yourself to learn new interesting things, read books, paint on the canvas, make handicrafts, spend your time walking along the sea shore, doing work out and etc. In short, treat yourself with a tough routine which will help you to forget about the past readily and your attention will be diverted towards various other things of your interest.

YOGA & MEDITATION:

Yoga and mediation is a ready-made remedy. Once you know yoga, you have a good option to recover with the lightening speed and if not then enroll yourself for the yoga classes and the difference can be felt instantaneously. Yoga and meditation helps you to attain peace of mind by soothing your heart pulse and brain nerves. This automatically drives you out of the horrid trauma that is the unpleasant present of the destiny for an amusing life experiences.

LEARN THE LESSON:

Feeling betrayed by a loved one is painful. Feeling that your trust and relationship were not valued by the other person is difficult to bear but learn the lesson on your way. Betrayal teaches you not to idolize the external sources. Learn the lesson of forgiveness.  After all, life is the name of “Moving On”!