Phoenix

Puffin’ the hand-rolled cigarettes,

Sippin’ on quality scotch,

The smoke filled room and the rainbows in her soul,

3:15 on her broken watch,

She was not the same girl,

The one who fled home,

When she was ordinary and eighteen,

She was not afraid to fall anymore,

There wasn’t much left to be seen,

She was fire and chaos intertwined in harmony,

So she flipped through the pages of a magazine,

The place to which she belonged in all her entirety,

In those pages, she was alive,

Clothed in magic, flaws and time,

While she had survived the war many times over,

The world is now reduced to the wraith of her madness,

Where she had her place in the sun,

The stars got tangled in her hair,

And the moonlight sparkled in her eyes,

The curve of her lips so much like a galaxy’s edge,

She was a broken beautiful universe all in her bruised self.

Embrace your brokenness for that is what makes you an epitome of beauty and a phenomenon of magic – be fearlessly and unapologetically you.

 

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Behind the Disguise

Can you slip under my skin?
Pretend to be me for a day,
To see this brutal world passing by,
Living through yet another nightmare,
Don’t you stop, you will make it out alive,
To feel the wrath in my pain,
Crawling through the ice in your veins,
Don’t you worry, my love will keep you warm,
To taste the agony in my bittersweet tears,
Dripping through your fiery eyes,
Don’t you forget, you’re wearing a disguise,
To smell the pungent vengeance in my blood,
Pumping violently through your fierce heart,
Don’t you quit, it’s just the beginning of falling apart,
To hear the noise of silence in my mind,
Embracing your demons through the night,
Don’t you fear, wait for the morning sun to shine bright,
So if you live each day like it is your last,
Aching in love and numbing the pain,
Will you dare to be me again?

The Mystery of Life

Before your lips flutter, 
Words you want to utter, 
Dare you not stutter, 
Think before you open your mouth, 
Think of the birds flying from North to South, 
Think of the whales underwater, 
Think of the life without death for a matter, 
Think and realize before you lose  your breath. 

Watch your words before you speak, 
Don’t be a reason for someone to be weak, 
Don’t hassle and try not to freak, 
You know the truth which they are willing to seek, 
Who says, truth is bitter? 
Prove them wrong and let your smile glitter. 

Birds are a symbol of freedom, 
A reason for the mornings to be cheerful, 
A reason for the sun to be fearless, 
A reason for the earth to be beautiful, 
A reason for the humans to learn to be blissful, 
Teaching the significance of love, unity and the charm to be graceful. 

Water is life, 
A symbol of purity, 
For marine life, an insurance of security, 
Beauty of the oceans and the creatures undiscovered, 
Praise the glory of Nature, 
When every day is a new beginning in the undercover, 
Grab the opportunity where Nature can be your lover. 
 
Death is a mystery, 
Yet life is a puzzle to solve this history, 
As you sow so shall you reap, 
Keep your nose clean while you prepare for the eternal sleep, 
Cherish every morning and the presence of sun, 
Live every moment like it’s your last and the only one. 
 
Wisdom is the daughter of experience, 
Life teaches you step by step on the way, 
Be careful as there’ll be ups and downs as you stray, 
Remain steadfast for you’re a warrior who can’t run away, 
Believe in your heart and soul – forget and forgive everyday. 
 
 

For One Good Reason<

For one good reason, I turned around, 
The threat gripped my heart as it sound,
The fear that I’d fell off on the ground, 
The answers to my reality which were never found. 

I embraced my life the way it was, 
For one good reason, I wanted to break the laws, 
I kept breathing until a silent pause, 
Misery swept away and so did my clause. 

For one good reason, I never looked away, 
The threat that night would darken my life stayed, 
The fear trembled me that I’d never see sun the next day, 
The key to misery clutched the period of my decay. 

I lifted myself for one last time, 
I risked my life ahead of crime, 
While preparing for that one last climb, 
I realized my heart chimed. 

For one good reason, I lived my life, 
I laughed, chuckled and genuinely smiled, 
I slashed my wrist to let the dead blood cells ooze the agony, 
The fears and threats were driven away by my mind’s symphony. 

Since that day, I lived my life to the extreme,
Personified my choices to challenge my self esteem,
I joined every single dot to dream my life’s theme,
Cause’ for one more time, my soul beamed. 

Beyond The Vision!

When I was a little girl, the world around me was like a bubble. I now think, if I would have popped my finger out of that bubble in those days, the world would have not been observed as a merry-go-round by me. A small girl who bombarded her parents with a “WHY”, “HOW” and “WHEN” frequently and who was fearless to burst the bubble and come face to face with the ruthless reality pertaining in the society; but Alas! The vindictive time, it always has a great timing! At the age of 4, this girl asked her teacher, “Ma’am, why can’t birds speak?” That day her teacher told her that every WHY in the world can not be answered and due to the undeveloped brain cells which failed to analyze the answer in the appropriate manner, that answer of the teacher was saved as a permanent file in ROM of her brain that could never be removed. Whenever, she faced a situation or a question and as soon as her brain used to prepare her for asking WHY due to the perplexity, the same stored file used to bang her head at the right moment reminding her of the teacher’s answer. She laid in her bed every night wondering how the sky is standing without pillars when no building can. She marveled how the sun shines so brightly when the moon was merely the opposite. She was bewildered when she questioned herself why the sea is so immense that she can’t see the ending spot. The perplexed questions ended every night with an exposure to the unexpected valley of dreams. Hence, that is the time when this 4 year old girl started coming out of the sealed bubble. She now wanted to be a colorful butterfly which can fly and be responsible for her very own flight.

Some of my many journals!

This girl started developing wings and the bubble was harmed every time her wings flapped at any instant. She lived in the world of her QUESTIONNAIRE. The questions, she kept to herself which were ultimately the reason for the quest to discover and explore beyond her knowledge. She wanted someone to hold up to her and answer her; she again faced hard time analyzing which medium could be the safest. Yeah, her wit clicked, why not her very own mother; but again that permanently stored answer of the teacher amplified her mystification and that is when she discovered that there exist a PAPER and a PENCIL that can be her best friend and unlike any other beings on this planet, their mouths will be forever sealed. She was amazed to discover such an innovative idea and at the age of 8, she started maintaining her very own registers. She did not want anyone to know about her thoughts regarding anything; she wanted those journals to be as personal as her body was to her. She was unaware of the fact that an eight year old doll would not be given sufficient privacy to survive and hence would be intruded more than once if the hidden registers came across the eyes of her guardians. She tried her level best to never let anybody know that she writes to release the burden off her shoulders; she carried those registers in her bag every time with an unpleasant fear of her thoughts becoming publicized.

Around the corner, this truth was not concealed for a very long time and she found her mother reading one of her private journal once she woke up from a very sound sleep. That was the first time she ever yelled at anybody. She was crying, she was blaming herself, she was regretting for choosing paper to be her best friend as it eventually showed its disloyalty. There was nothing confidential mentioned in those journals which could not be read by her mother but the very mutual thought of how untrustworthy even a non-living thing can be occupied her and this trauma didn’t end well. Her mother held her, caressed her, kissed her and embraced her collecting her entirely in her maternal arms where she sobbed for an eternity. She kept repeating the same line of how she hated herself. Within this phase, she realized one of her very good qualities that she doesn’t require an eternity to get over a mishap. Within two days, she was the same cheerful girl who lived in her own world with the same innocent heart building more question with every passing moment but now she did not have any best friend. At school, she was a quiet and shy girl who always succeeded in academics with a remarkable margin but showed no interest in any extra co-curricular activities. The time continued to pass by and taught her various lessons of life but she missed that unfaithful friend of hers – PAPER! The only thought that used to startle her was that why could she not forgive her best friend? After a year or so, she recovered and was friends with PAPER again. This time she wanted to be more aware of her mother not reading anything; she was now growing into an adolescent and the life was chasing her like she was a bone being chased by a starving dog. She continued filling sheets and sheets with her personal experiences, her daily affairs, how the world haunted her, how she wanted to be everything but not a wife (like her mother), how she wanted to explore the space and etc. The dreamy world was yet not over until 12, subsided with mature thoughts than her age-group. Even her dreamy world craved the meaning of life and the reason behind her existence. She often used to write about it when she entered into a very charming and alluring phase of any human’s life – TEENAGE!

Now this doll was 13; no more a doll indeed. She was a grown up girl who was ready to flap her wings open and explode the bubble confining her abilities. She flew swirling around the boundaries of life and exploded it with a charisma. Her teenage was abnormal or rather should I say it was normal because it was not the same boy-friends, drinks, clubs, pubs and dance floors that united her life and thrilled her but it was her escalating confidence that made her “UNIQUE” in the gatherings. Her parents were astounded themselves, she was paranormal with her brain grasping more than required for her age. She was no more a shy doll but a confident and stunning girl who could sway around with daffodils and make the universe dance on her finger tips. She turned out to be a debater where her teachers encouraged her to debate frequently to enhance her inborn skills with the weapon of experience. The paper remained her best friend throughout; though it was disloyal at times but she realized how her best friend could be someone else’s friend too. Her acquaintances called her arrogant, rude, she was blamed for her attitude when all she did was smile – her gleaming eyes smiled to their remarks. She was blessed with an enriched soul, all her job was to nourish it with plenty of resources in order to live up to what is expected of her by the world as well as Him.  

Let you soul be free like a flying bird because ETERNITY lives in there.

This girl is ordinary just like YOU. A compassionate soul living in everybody – the only difference between YOU and her is she listened and responded to her soul since the day it called out to her; she was accomplishing what she was asked for by her Almighty. This is a time to catch the right bus at the right station and listen to your blaring soul, let the questions seep your heart, get a medium to express yourself and immortal soul BUT be aware of the hazards and obstacles on your way because no accomplishment can be achieved without the audacity to try. Live every moment in a sacred way cause neither can you trust your breath nor your life – this little doll gave us the same message of how to never trust the voices you hear from your ears but trust the sole voice that you can hear from the ears of your heart and soul – the voice of Eternity. 

Empowerment Of Women!

She rises from the ground and with her strength touches the Heavens

When your eyes open for the first time;
The hands of a woman wrap you in Thyme.

When your heart beats to make a sound,
The ears of a woman are on your chest to be found.

When your lips play with a radiant smile,
Take a glimpse of the parched lips of a woman for a while.

When your tear-filled eyes spill a drop,
This woman upholds your pain to stop.

When your comrades forget to play,
This woman clasps you in her arms and sway.

When oodles of your work is undone,
This woman stays by you until the rising sun.

When your life shuffles happiness to invite sorrow,
This woman of integrity desires to borrow.

When you are lonesome and forlorn,
There is a blissful woman with you to mourn.

This woman is your mother, sister, daughter or wife,
The existent support and comfort throughout your life.

18 Days Ago…..

Background: This is dedicated to my dearest buddy and uncle namely PG! He has always been a great teacher to me and his experiences have always been a ROLLER COASTER RIDE to guide me through different courses of life. His advices turn out to be SUNSHINE in the dark exigent world of grief, sorrow and chaos. His amiable ways enchant me under his spell and he has an ever lasting impression in just one glance that leaves me wondering if it was him on which this phrase came into existence that “FIRST IMRESSSION IS THE LAST IMPRESSION”! I miss you and I love you!! Hope you come back soon with more of your fascinating and motivating experiences in order for me to progress in every phase of my life!

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.

Once upon a time………

Like every other story, it’s also a “ONCE UPON A TIME” story. My life was driving smoothly to its destination but the smooth and straight paths never preach us the sole reason of our survival so a turning edge changes the present and leave you with a lesson for future.

This incident is very close to my heart and its not that ancient for which I have to use “ONCE UPON A TIME” but its due to my belief that when despair, pain and suffering turn their back to us, we have to await their return for an EXPERIENCE RIDE once again, and in this case the only way we can expect it again, is to forget the previous wounds and let others leave their scars.

The 18 days were agonizing as the river changed its course surging my fate and turning me in to all over a new leaf. The sun of 7th February was not the golden globe with its endless shimmering beams, but a dark sky where stars were scarcely visible. I could foresee the day when in the later afternoon, I was manacled and my possessions were confiscated. This overcast, doubtlessly, astounded me but as I was certain of my actions and accomplishments, and the fact that I was an immigrant there, made me swallow the occasion pretty well down my esophagus.They started their investigation according to their rules and regulations but I was least concerned of their attempts because I had my lucky charm “RUDRAKSHA” with me. Perhaps, this lucky charm was evenly an excuse to gratify my pulse but the sole reason why my breaths were still steady, my heart wasn’t racing and the depression, anxiety, despair and misery maintained the equal distance, was the faith in MYSELF which lead to more firm faith in GOD!

In these 18 days of investigation, they kept me in their custody. I had to bypass different kind of people, situations and circumstances. Everything was challenging and demanding but I let the things to create their own way without indulging myself in any of the complications and to my surprise, my strategy worked! If ever I used to feel forlorn and solitude encircled me, the presence of God enlightened my soul and I abandoned the heart ache, letting my body rest in the lap of joy, bliss and ecstasy. The days passed by with the slower pace than usual, strengthening my belief in myself and God’s munificence and benevolence.

Finally, I was out in the vivid dazzling afternoon of 24th February where sun glistened over my head, flashing the yellow light all over my body, decontaminating my soul and I felt like an infant! Breathing in fresh air, wandering on streets and the vibrant freedom flooded my body with glee and joy, and the patience with which I worked was proved a milestone.

The hardships in these 18 days are nevertheless of no good to mention here, because bad time can never be shared, it can only be experienced but the reason why I wrote this is, to covey a simple yet pivotal lesson that I learned in this short span of time that, anything can be achieved if we have faith in ourselves and trust in God, for whatever He is doing is for our benefit and to improve our lifestyle. He is Almighty and knows us better than anyone, because He is our Creator. Patience plays a great role in evading the hardships and misery, happiness can follow us anywhere if we allow it to chase us.  

“Failures and breakdowns preach us the path to success and the huddles in between, so called EXPERIENCES; motivate us to chase our goal to live in ecstasy, if not forever, then for the time being.”