One Day..

One day you will feel my pain,
Burning underneath your skin,
One day you will feel my desires,
Aching within the core of your heart,
One day you will feel my energy,
Growing inside you,
One day you will feel my perseverance,
Easing your burdens,
One day you will feel my tears,
Wiping away the oceans of your sorrow,
One day you will feel my angels,
Conquering your demons,
One day you will feel my love,
Silencing your doubts,
One day you will feel what I have felt all along,
But until then, I will hope you know the way back home.

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Diary of Nobody -VIII-

‘Let Go’ – I have no idea how many times have I heard these two words since you have left. What astounds me is that you are among those peeps who are babbling about ‘letting-go’ and its apparent advantages. I get all kind of advice about how letting-go is the best thing to do in my situation (Pardon me but when did I tell you about my situation – guilty of gossiping?) or the very cliched motivational clauses like ‘You are a strong girl; you will turn over a new leaf in no time and will do much better’. Oh please, I don’t need to hear all that because I am well aware of the sympathy drill so save your pity for somebody else because I know how strong I am and that is why I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I apologize if this sounds offensive but people seem to do it a lot for the sake of I-don’t-know-what and I absolutely hate it (the wonderful genuine gems can ignore it).

Letting-Go for me means a delete button and I don’t seem to have one. Oh wait, only machines have the privilege to have that button function for them but I’m a human which means that I will have to live with you in my system for the rest of my life.

Can I completely forget you as if you never existed? No, I can’t (unless I have dementia, amnesia or some other memory-loss issue).

So with no delete button, I am looking forward to a situation something like this: every time I will hear your name, I will wince; every time I will go to places we have been to, I will resist nostalgia; every time I am around something that is related to you or reminds me of you (which is apparently everything), it will be an open invitation to depression. Thus, even after ten years, you will serve me merely with delicious pain-cakes and mouth-watering sorrow-berry muffins.

So what exactly do you want me to let go?

Letting-Go for me means destroying the world I created with lots of love, warmth, affection, memories, sacrifices and just the tinge of the magnificent blend of perfection and comfort in the mere hope of a Forever. This world is my home and you want me to let go of my home. My life revolves around my home but you want me to let go so I can be homeless and lifeless.  You want me to let go of my perfection so that I don’t dare to imagine another again. You want me to let go of the luxury of being myself so I can no longer savor our flawless memories. You want me to let go of my happiness for the sake of a better tomorrow which neither of us has seen. You want me to let go of my love because you are apparently in love with another woman who supposedly can paint you a better world than the one you are a part of at the moment. However, do you ever feel the need to ask yourself if I want it that way too or is it that your selfishness will precede my selflessness yet again?

Feel me but don’t say a word,
Love me but don’t leave my mind blurred,
Between the lines of needs and wants,
Not for a second have my heart not desired you,
Ever since you vowed to me your love.

Never Want to Let Go

Fire burning inside my core,
The emptiness inside of me is your abode,
Your heart has caught a cold,
Your lies cannot fool me anymore,
Pretending like it’s not your fault,
Preparing yourself for a revolutionary war,
You knew I was around the corner,
You watched me tore myself apart,
You heard me sob the silent tears,
You set fire to my heart,
Now that I have seen it through,
I fail to see anything beyond you,
So love me like I do,
Kiss me like I do,
Touch me like I do,
Give me at least what is mine,
Open your arms and let me in,
Burn me under your skin,
Take me by the hand,
Write me in your blood,
I just want you to know,
I never want to let go.

I can't wait for these bare trees to be green again -- Spring Time (yay) <3

I can’t wait for these bare trees to be green again — Spring Time (yay) ❤


Photo Source: All Rights Reserved With: https://www.globalunison.wordpress.com

Filling In The Spaces -VI-

A: I want you in my arms for the rest of my life.
N: My arms are wide open and will always be.
A: I will never let you down again and will take care of you just the way you always wanted me to. I will listen to you talk for hours without dozing off on you. I want to be there for you to support you. I want one last chance to make this right for ‘us’. I love you with every fiber of my being. 
N: I love you also.
A: I know now that a gem of your kind is rare — may be one of its very own kind. I don’t want to lose you. You are everything I long for.
N: (Sigh) And you are everything I waited so long for.

Our Greatest Enemy

After a while, we will get used to this parade of so-called ‘I love you’ and there will be nothing new about us. Our mystery and chemistry will be resting in peace. There will be constant arguments about loyalty and sincerity for no reason at all. Every day will start with a quarrel and eventually we wouldn’t care if one of us is going to bed angry. Some days you will be grumpy while the other days, I will be screaming. We will be cursing and it will feel like love never existed between us. Our egos will not allow us to be apologetic and we will keep blaming each other regardless of being aware that it is nobody’s but our own fault if this life feels less like the safe haven we imagined with each other. There will only be a tug of war between us and if by chance sometimes once or twice a year (fortunately/unfortunately) we get to spend a day without picking up an argument; that will have to be a miracle. However, lets try to sort this out. Before we reach that stage when love is lost in the blur of an argument or trapped within the tick-tock of the clock, let’s love unconditionally and ‘live in the moment’. Thus no conditions and no consequences. If you can do it then love me or leave right now before we become our greatest enemy.

His forever can last a second or two,
Sometimes, not even a day get passed through,
He cradles me in his arms and I know this to be true,
His forever is our present, may it be an eternity or this passing view.

Can these clouds be my vessel to Heaven?

Can these clouds be my vessel to Heaven?


Photo Source: All Rights Reserved With: https://www.globalunison.wordpress.com

Never Meant To Be

The day I met you,
For the very first time,

Watching you,
From the distance,
You stood by yourself,

Fiddling with your hands,
With a 20 dollar bill,
Not even a pound,
To be found in your wallet,
I came for your rescue,
Paid your cab’s fare,
And there you were,
Red like a tomato,
Embarrassed and flushed,
But we laughed it off,
That black dressing shirt you wore,
And the faded denim jeans,

I still remember how nervous we were,
When our eyes first met,
When our worlds finally collided,
We headed down the road,
For our first meal together,
Nandos wasn’t your cup of tea,
That butterfly chicken you made fun of,
The way you looked at me,
That spark in your eyes,
The warmth in your smile,
I melted in the glimpse of your splendor,
Your annoyingly cute OCD,
Your exhilarating throaty laughs,
The best of all,
Your amusing company,
For that one night,
I had it all,
But none to keep,
A long journey,
A 12 hour flight,
You came all the way,
Across the ocean,
Just to see me,
To be with me,
To feel me,
To have me by your side,
A day later,
For the very first time,
By the fast food stall,

You wrapped me,
In your arms,
Concealed me,
In your embrace,
You held me tight,
I held you close,
Never knowing,
One day,
You will have to go.

Double Standard

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It’s not hurt that conquers my heart but it’s you. I am what my past has made me and it’s all about you – it’s all about us. The pain that comes with being a part of you is somewhat enchanting. I find my comfort in your arms. I seek my love in your eyes. I recognise myself in the purpose of your existence. It’s unbelievable that you will play a double standard game but then after all you are one of your kind – unpredictability is in your blood.

I can breath you in all day long. I can feed on the curves around your lips forever. I can watch myself in the depth of your eyes for every second left of my life. I can forgive you but not forget you. I can love you but not leave you. I can please you even at the expense of who I am but you won’t see, you won’t listen and you won’t even understand. All that I was and all that I have become is to you just another pawn in your double standard game.


Photo Credits: https://www.google.com/images

The Connection of My Soul with Evil

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Across the shore, behind the rocks,
My wounded heart strangled in sinful locks.

I stretch my arms wide to embrace the globe,
The grief of denial – the soft whisper fondles my ear lobe.

The significance of my subsistence is fairly explained,
I wandered bare foot; my liberated soul detained.

The hustle bustle to seize the life’s train overwhelms me;
The horizon caresses my sight compelling me to flee.

Sorrow and distress soothes my soul;
Longing for agony performs a mighty role.

Blissfulness is neither my aim nor my consent;
Desires dwelling in my heart are slaughtered – twistedly bent.

The intoxicating air bruises my free will;
However leaving the world behind; my fingers feel the top-most hill.

Confessing my sins sanctifies me with a new life;
My soul is naked – transgressions excited to slash me with a knife.

The evil is tempted by the nobility of nakedness;
Thus wrapping the new-born soul in the garb of wickedness.

Several births in this world may not feed the soul with goodness;
Hence this world is the abode of evil upholding darkness and blindness.

 

Moments

Note: Hey there Folks! This is my very first duet with a fellow-blogger, Neeraj. We enjoyed composing it and I hope you all would enjoy reading. Additionally, I encourage all who doesn’t know him to visit his blog – a very talented poet and song writer. Thank you. 

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(Neeraj)

Stay here, closer,

Let me run out of breath,

We’ve got this moment,

It’ll not be here forever,

It may never come again,

Let me live,

Every moment of it,

Let us die in its arms tonight.

(Me)

Stay there, far away,

No need for you to be here today,

We had the moment and we did it all,

Let go of me,

Let me fall,

It may never occur to you,

Love ain’t lust, I’m through.

(Neeraj)

Stay here, closer,

Let me inhale you slowly,

Let me kiss you properly,

Once it is over,

It won’t come again,

Let me live,

Every moment of it,

Let me not be wise tonight.

(Me)

Stay there, far away,

Don’t you play with my hair,

Don’t you dare to come any near,

Let me sob for all I’ve done,

Let me take the blame for once,

It may never occur to you,

We were through way before we knew.

(Chorus)

The moment we thought could get us together,
The moment we thought could get us better,
The moment we thought could stay there forever,
It passed and we surpassed,
‘Cause we never tried,
To hold it tight,
To make it right…

Random Scribbles

When I turned to you for the very last time,
You babbled and complained about my uncertain crimes.
You let go of my hand cause it was no more a prime,
You kissed her as if that’s how our story was supposed to rhyme.
I secured my heart with grief and tossed a dime,
Cause’ there was much more to our short climb.

———————————————————————-

Fridays are back again,
Cozy bed and no worries to go out in rain,
Loneliness ensures the revival of pain,
Pity me, I let the sunlight be my date on the window pane!

———————————————————————-

Tell them, I was not being biased,
I was just preparing to score the highest.
If you have ever seen the dark truth behind my bright eyes,
Only then can you see the beauty in disguise.

———————————————————————-

I miss those mischievous winks,
Those excuses of how it were your efforts to think.
I am thinking of you despite of the alcoholic drinks,
I am love in with you forever and always – the reality can’t sink.

———————————————————————-

For a moment, my heart stopped beating,
Going back to the time when we were cheating.
Cheating each other to conceal the reality,
But was it too easy to escape the morality?
Life introduced us to different phases,
However,you mastered to resist me but I failed to fill in the spaces.

———————————————————————-

You told me you will return,
I stood by the window since you left,
My belly churns and the anxiety yearns,
For your one glimpse which will be an attempted theft.
Thus, embrace me in your arms – don’t ever let me go,
We will be one and the world will see us glow.
It may be a ray of hope, a secret wish or a way to fool myself,
I pick flowers for your grave everyday but decorate them on my shelf.